Memories Of When Smiles Were Real
by RubyChan05
Summary: As Fai and Kurogane find themselves growing closer, a person from Fai's past disrupts their lives. His life turned upside down, Fai finds himself thinking back...to when Ashura was his closest friend. KuroFai, with slight S and S.
1. Drawn Together

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

**_When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

_**

**Chapter One; Drawn Together**

"Damnit!" Kurogane cursed as the Flame Spirit surged towards him once again, fiery claws reaching for him. Leaping out of the way, Kurogane sliced through it with his sword, swearing as the demon simply reassembled itself.

_>This is all that manjuu bun's fault!> _He thought darkly, dodging as a tendril of fire swept past him. If Mokona hadn't dumped them in a world infested with these Flame Spirits, then he wouldn't have to get involved in this stupid fight.

Sensing a feather in the nearby temple, Mokona had left with Syaoran and Sakura to find it, leaving Kurogane to cover their backs and stop any Flame Spirits from following them inside. Growling, Kurogane stabbed forwards with his sword again. Just who was it that had decided that he'd play the part of bodyguard anyway?

"Wheet whoo! Kuro-tan is sure skilled with his sword!" Kurogane glared at the source of the voice, watching as the wizard nimbly avoided another Flame Spirit.

"Don't call me those stupid names! And don't say that sound!" He barked, jumping backwards to avoid being burnt to a crisp.

"But calling Kuro-pii funny names is so fun!" Fai laughed, ducking as a jet of fire shot over his head. >_Stupid fool…even now, he's smiling.> _Kurogane snarled in answer, too busy with his own opponent to focus too much on the magician's teasing.

_>There must be some way to get rid of these things…> _Glancing wildly around, Kurogane frowned as he realised that there wasn't anything that he could sue to destroy the demons. Water would have been good, but there wasn't a pool in site.

"Oi! Don't _you_ have any ideas!" He bellowed at Fai. The other man looked up, grin widening even further.

"Why would I? I've never seen anything like these things in my life!" He said brightly.

"Well, you're useless." Kurogane snarled in irritation, turning back to his own battle. He didn't notice the way Fai's face darkened, the wizard's smile shrinking until it was nothing more than a sad quirk of the lips.

"You're right, Kuro-chan. I am useless." He murmured softly, twisting so that a burning claw missed its target. Looking at the demonic spirit again, Fai's mouth suddenly opened in an 'o' as he saw something glinting inside the Flame Spirit's forehead.

Praying that he wasn't wrong, Fai leapt at his attacker, steeling himself for what was yet to come.

* * *

A muffled cry of pain drew Kurogane's attention, and he looked up from his battle, red eyes widening as he saw what Fai was doing.

The wizard had plunged his unprotected hand into the burning flames of the spirit's head, wincing as the fire burnt his delicate skin. Grasping the sparkling stone that he'd seen before, he yanked his hand out, watching in satisfaction as the demon disappeared into thin air.

Before Kurogane could even blink, Fai was between him and the other Flame Spirit, hand darting forward into the flames once again. Hissing in agony, Fai grabbed at the stone, tearing it from the demon's head. The spirit let out an angry scream that was cut off as it vanished.

Letting out a small whimper, Fai dropped to his knees, cradling his burnt hand. Kurogane crouched down next to him, wincing as he saw how red and angry it looked.

"I don't understand you…" He muttered, still staring at the scorched flesh. Fai looked at him, a smile once more pasted across his face.

"It's not hard to get, Kuro-rin. I just noticed something sparkly in the spirits, and realised that it was their source of power." Fai grinned. Kurogane frowned at him in return.

"That's not what I meant…"

"Kurogane-san! Fai-san! We got the feather!" Syaoran's voice rang out from the temple, and the two men looked up to see the rest of their group walking down the temple steps.

"I have another memory back, and…_Fai-san_!" Sakura gasped as she saw Fai's hand, and ran down to him, closely followed by Syaoran.

"Fai-san, what happened?" She exclaimed, covering her mouth.

"It's nothing, Sakura-chan. I just got a little burnt during the fight." Fai smiled reassuringly at her, using his uninjured hand to push some of her hair back from her face. The girl gazed at him, concern still evident in her emerald eyes.

Behind them, Kurogane and Syaoran stood together, both watching as Fai continued smiling as if nothing was wrong.

"What happened?" Syaoran asked quietly, amber eyes examining the scene. Kurogane looked away, grunting.

"The idiot realised that the spirits' life source is a stone in their heads, so he pulled it out using his bare hands." He snorted. Syaoran looked up at him, a serious expression on his face.

"Whatever he is, Fai-san is nowhere near an idiot." He stated.

"Huh?" Kurogane glanced down at the solemn boy, raising an eyebrow.

"Fai-san has proven time and time again that he is more than ordinary. Although he has a playful side, he knows when it's time to be serious, and focus on the path ahead. An idiot wouldn't be able to understand the importance of this."

Kurogane stared at Syaoran for a moment, before looking back at Fai. The blonde was talking to Sakura, holding Mokona on his lap with his unharmed hand. Glancing up at the quiet pair, Fai smiled and tilted his head to the side, looking carefree and worriless.

"Mokona thinks it's time to go to another world!" Mokona chirped, beginning to bounce up and down. Syaoran nodded and walked over to Fai, bending down so that they were on eye level.

"Hopefully, the next world will have something we can use to treat your hand, Fai-san." He said softly. Fai blinked, before shaking his head.

"It's alright, Syaoran-kun. You don't need to worry about me – I'm fine."

As Mokona rose into the air, beginning to create the portal, Kurogane kept his eyes on the smiling wizard. >_Even now, you won't let anyone show concern for you.>

* * *

"Fai-san, let me bandage your hand for you." Sakura said softly, sitting down at the table with their stash of medical supplies that they'd gathered. Fai paused a moment, before nodding and sitting down next to her. He knew that a refusal would simply end up wasting time, as Sakura would end up doing it anyway._

This time, Mokona had dropped them in what seemed to be a much friendlier world…somewhere called Romansu. It appeared to be just like the Hanshin Republic, minus the kudan and gang fights. This had made it easier to work out how to rent a couple of rooms, and where to get some more supplies.

Mokona had told them that the feather was very near to them, so the group were feeling optimistic, feeling that they may not need to spend long in this world…a fact that Fai was extremely thankful for – the quicker he could journey through worlds, the harder it would be for him to be found.

He suddenly gasped as Sakura dabbed the salve on his hand, and she looked up quickly.

"Am I hurting you, Fai-san?" She asked in concern. Fai shook his head, smiling bravely at her.

"It's ok Sakura-chan. Just carry on, I'll be fine." Nodding, Sakura carried on with her work, being careful not to put too much pressure on the sore skin.

Kurogane watched from his position by the fireplace, frowning slightly to himself. It was strange…today he'd been watching Fai a lot. And to his surprise, he'd found himself noticing a lot of things about the blonde cat lover.

Although he'd realised long ago just how fake Fai's smile was, he'd never really noticed how reluctant the wizard was for anyone to be worried about him…or how he seemed to have so little regard for his own safety.

Snorting, he turned his head aside, determined to ignore the other from now on. >_What do I care, anyway? He's just an annoying fool. >

* * *

_

"Wheet whoo! This room's very nice, isn't it Kuro-woof?" Fai commented, looking around the room that he'd be sharing with the black ninja. Kurogane simply grunted, already pulling his shirt off in preparation for sleep.

Fai smiled softly at the gruff man, and turned to his own bed, starting to remove his own clothes. At least, trying to.

"Ahh!" Fai hissed in pain as his burnt hand refused to cooperate, and pouted down at his clothes. The hand he'd burnt was his right, which meant that it would be a lot harder to get undressed.

A shadow suddenly loomed over him, and the next thing he knew, Kurogane was unbuttoning his tunic.

"Wha…? Kuro-pun, what are you doing?" He smiled, looking up at the ninja in mild confusion.

"What does it look like? It's obvious that you can't do this yourself with that injured hand, so…"

"Oh, it makes me happy that Kuro-wan cares so much for me!" Fai cheered.

"Shut up, or I leave you to do this yourself." Kurogane growled. Fai fell quiet, but carried on grinning.

"You know, I meant what I said today. I just don't understand you." Kurogane murmured as he began to pull the tunic off. Fai looked up at him, looking puzzled.

"But I explained it to you, Kuro-kichi! Don't you get it yet?" Fai asked.

Kurogane growled in exasperation, throwing practically ripping the tunic from the wizard in his anger.

"Not the damned stones! _You_!" He exclaimed. Fai blinked in confusion.

"Now _I_ don't understand, Kuro-pii."

Kurogane grabbed Fai's wrist, lifting the arm with the injured hand.

"This! You did this to yourself! You just plunged your hand straight into those flames!" He snapped.

"But Kuro-tan, every time you sliced the spirits up, they just healed themselves! The only way to beat them was to remove the stone!" Fai protested.

Kurogane glared at him.

"But not with your hands! You weren't even wearing those long gloves of yours! We could have just used those pieces of rock on the ground to get the stones out!" He growled.

Fai looked down, shrugging slightly.

"I didn't really think about that. It doesn't matter if I get hurt anyway." He said quietly.

The next thing he knew, he was pinned on the bed, with Kurogane lying on top of him.

"Don't you dare say anything like that! I've seen you out there when we fight…you always pause before dodging an attack, as though you don't whether you should just let it hit you or not! You do stupid things without caring about what happens to you, like today! You're just wasting your life!"

Fai gazed back up at him, taken aback slightly by the vehemence in Kurogane's voice. Unsure of what he could say, he activated his defence mechanism – his smile.

"And stop hiding behind those fake smiles of yours!" Kurogane bellowed. Fai's smile faltered, and his crystal blue eyes widened as he realised that Kurogane had seen behind his mask.

"I…fake smiles?" He said weakly. Kurogane stared angrily down at him, not about to let him squirm out of a serious discussion this time.

"Yes. Fake smiles. Jeez, you're a regular mystery man, aren't you? You won't say anything more about your world except that there's a guy called Ashura after you, you hide yourself from everyone, and you don't care if you get hurt!"

Fai swallowed uncomfortably, beginning to desperately want out of the conversation. The mere mention of Ashura's name was enough to instil fear in him, and he really didn't want to be having this talk in the first place. >_For once in my life, I'm regretting choosing to be Kuro-rin's roommate. >_

"Like I said, it doesn't matter if I get hurt anyway." He replied, managing to keep his voice even. Kurogane snapped.

"Of course it does, you fool! You may not believe it, but you have people who care about you!" He roared.

Fai smiled up at him tiredly.

"People like you, Kurogane?" He asked calmly. Kurogane stared at him for a moment, surprised by the fact that the wizard had actually used his proper name. Then, he grinned down wolfishly at the man trapped beneath him.

"Yes. People like me." He said, swooping down to capture the blonde's lips with his own.

* * *

Later, Kurogane would never be able to understand exactly why he did it. After all, he'd spent the best part of 6 months complaining about the Seresu wizard and how annoying he was. But somewhere along the way, he'd realised, scorn had turned to friendship, which had, dare he say it, then developed into love.

When he first kissed Fai, he'd felt the other man tense up beneath him, and had reluctantly released his lips, beginning to move away. But to his surprise, Fai had let out a small cry and pulled him back down, crushing their lips together once again.

Relieved, Kurogane had begun to kiss back, the pair's lips moving against each other desperately until they were forced to part due to lack of air. Panting slightly, the two had rested their forehead together, waiting until they had caught their breath before talking.

"Wow." Fai's voice was more than a little awed, and Kurogane found himself smiling widely, tenderly pushing a few strands of blonde hair out of the wizard's face.

"Yeah."

"I never thought you had it in you, Kuro-min." Fai murmured. He was smiling again, but this one was sincere, and Kurogane was delighted to finally see the mage's real smile.

"If you'd asked me a couple of months ago, I wouldn't have either. You make me behave in a totally different way than normal." Kurogane said honestly. Fai smiled, and wriggled round so that Kurogane was lying next to him instead of on top of him.

"I thought you said you hated me, Kuro-pan."

"I said I hated people _like_ you, not you specifically. I haven't hated you in a long time…I think the first time I realised that I wanted you as a comrade was when I pushed you out of the way of that damn witch's acid spheres." Kurogane replied.

"Is that what I am to you then? A comrade?" Fai's question, although sounding innocent, held hidden meanings, and Kurogane gulped, unsure of what to say – he'd never been in a situation like this until he met Fai.

"Yes…and no. Yes, because you're a friend of mine…and no, because since Oto, I've wanted you to be more than that." Fai lifted his head slightly, staring at the swordsman in mild shock.

"Since Oto? For that long?"

Kurogane nodded.

"Ever since that demon attacked you, and you got injured, I realised that my emotions were screwed up around you. And when we thought that Seishirou had killed you…I was devastated, even though I didn't show it. It was then that I realised…I cared for you more than a friend."

Kurogane broke off, a dark blush staining his cheeks. He couldn't believe the way he was acting…he was a ninja, damnit! And ninja's weren't meant to go spilling out emotions left, right and centre!

"Aww! I always knew Kuro-wanko loved me!" Fai sighed dramatically, eyes sparkling. Kurogane snorted, and began to get up off the bed.

"I knew I shouldn't have said anything." He grumbled. Fai was sitting up instantly, grabbing hold of Kurogane's arm before the ninja could leave him.

"I'm sorry, Kuro-chin. I didn't mean to offend you." He pleaded. Kurogane sighed and sat back down, raking a hand through his dark hair.

"It's not you, really…it's just…I've never felt like this about anyone before…I don't know what to do."

Fai's eyes softened.

"It's alright, Kuro-tako. When you're love, you don't need to understand it. You just go along with the flow." He smiled. Kurogane looked at him.

"So you've been in love before then?"

Fai's smile slowly faded from his face, and he looked at his hands silently.

"A long time ago…" Kurogane realised that it was a touchy subject for the wizard, and he wrapped his arms around Fai, holding him close.

"It didn't end well?" He asked softly. Fai shook his head.

"No…"

"It'll be ok, Fai. We'll stay together." Kurogane whispered.

Fai looked at him, an expression of pure delight on his face.

"You called me Fai! I can't ever remember you doing that before!" He exclaimed. Kurogane frowned slightly, nodding.

"I think you may be right. Would you prefer if I call you that, then?"

Fai nodded shyly, before biting his lip.

"Do you want me to stop giving you pet names?" He questioned. Kurogane thought about it, then chuckled.

"You know, I can't imagine you calling me anything else now. You can keep calling me weird names…just not Kuro-_wanko_. I despise that one."

Fai laughed, and snuggled closer.

"Very well, Kuro-wan." Leaning back together onto the bed, the couple closed their eyes as they drifted off into sleep.

For the first time in months, they were happy.


	2. Found Out

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

**_When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?_**

* * *

**Chapter Two; Found Out**

"Kuro-muu, I'm tired." Fai whined, walking slightly behind the black ninja, dragging his feet. Syaoran raised an eyebrow at the comment, already anticipating Kurogane's reaction. 6 months of scenes like these, and you tended to be able to guess how each one would turn out.

But this time, he was wrong.

Sighing faintly, Kurogane came to a halt and crouched down slightly, turning to look over his shoulder at the pouting mage.

"Get on then." Fai's already wide smile brightened considerably, until he was positively beaming. Blue eyes shining, he skipped over to Kurogane and climbed onto his back, giggling as the swordsman stood up.

"Kuro-woof is so strong, being able to lift me like this." He tittered, blowing air into Kurogane's ear.

"Don't push it, blondie." The ninja growled, beginning to walk again.

Syaoran blinked in mild surprise at what had happened. Normally Fai's comment would have resulted in an angry comment from Kurogane, which would have then led to Fai wailing about how Kuro-pii didn't love him any more. He never would have expected Kurogane to actually offer to carry the white wizard.

"Mokona thinks Kurogane must be ill!" Mokona chirped from his position in Sakura's arms.

"What was that, manjuu bun?" Kurogane asked, shooting Mokona a suspicious glare.

"Kurogane would never carry Fai like that normally, because Kurogane is always saying how much Fai annoys him!" Mokona explained, bouncing up and down.

Kurogane felt Fai tighten his grip round his shoulders at Mokona's words, although otherwise the mage seemed to be unaffected. Twisting his head to glower at Mokona, Kurogane snarled icily;

"He does annoy me. But I'd rather carry him than you any day."

Fai's grip relaxed again, and Kurogane hid a small smile. Just as he'd hoped, the Seresu Wizard had guessed the hidden meaning of the words. After all, Kurogane wasn't about to admit to the world that he had become…attached… to Fai, was he? It wasn't in his nature.

"Kuro-chan wants to carry me? I'm touched!" Fai announced, beginning to squirm. Kurogane elbowed him.

"Either stop fidgeting, or I drop you."

"Waaa! Kuro-tan is meeean!"

* * *

"Well. Another world, another room. Guess we're roomies again, huh Kuro-pii?" Fai commented, looking around their new lodgings. Kurogane smiled slightly, pulling the mage down onto the bed beside him. 

"Looks like it. Although funnily enough, I don't really mind this time." Fai's blue eyes twinkled mischievously, and he leaned against Kurogane's shoulder.

"Wheet whoo! Maybe Kurogane will turn out to be a romantic after all!" He giggled.

Kurogane blushed, looking away, flustered.

"Ehem…how's your hand?" He blurted out, unable to think of anything else he could say to steer the subject of conversation away from his softer side.

"Almost back to normal!" Fai chirped, smiling. Kurogane raised a disbelieving eyebrow.

"You only got injured three days ago. And you expect me to believe that it's back to normal?" He snorted. Fai nodded, pulling off his glove to show the ninja his wound. Kurogane blinked in astonishment.

"It's healed!" He exclaimed, staring down at the hand that was pale and flawless once more. Fai grinned.

"Yup, remember in Oto? Even though that demon slammed me into that building, I was practically fine by the next day!" He laughed.

"But still…" Kurogane spluttered.

"I told you before, Kuro-pin! When Kiishimu tried to burn us to death with her acid rain! I don't die very easily, remember?" Fai reminded him.

"Because you heal…" Kurogane said slowly, beginning to understand. Fai beamed.

"Exactly! Kuro-pun's got it now!" Kurogane nodded, then frowned as he thought of another question.

"So is it just that the people in your world heal faster than others, or another one of your skills as a wizard?" He queried. Fai looked down, his lips quirking slightly.

"It's me. Something to do with my magic. The only other person in my world who heals just as fast is…" His voice died away as he found himself unable to say the name of the other person. But from the look of comprehension in the ninja's crimson eyes, it was obvious that he understood.

"Whatever. Although it's kind of ironic that a guy with vaguely suicidal tendencies has the ability to heal so quickly." Kurogane smirked. Fai looked up, a wry smile on his face.

"Yes…that's what I always thought too."

* * *

"Fai-san! Kurogane-san! It's time to get up!" Sakura announced brightly, pulling the door to their shared room open. 

"Kurogane-san? Fai-san? Are you awake?" Peeping round the door, Sakura blinked in confusion as she saw that Fai's bed looked like it hadn't been slept in.

"Kurogane-san? Did you tie Fai-san up again? Kurogane-sa…" Her voice died away, and she stared at the sight before her, wondering if she was still asleep herself.

"Um…Syaoran-kun? Could you come here a moment, please?" She called down the stairs. Syaoran came out of the kitchen, wiping his hands on a towel.

"Sakura-hime? What is it?" He asked. Sakura just pointed at Fai and Kurogane's room.

"Syaoran-kun, there's something not quite normal in there." She said. Syaoran frowned, moving to look himself.

"Your highness, I'm not quite sure I…huh!" Syaoran did a double-take, unable to quite take in what he was seeing.

"See, Syaoran-kun?" Sakura chirped.

Although Fai's bed had not been slept in, the opposite was true for Kurogane's. Both the swordsman and the wizard were sharing it, asleep underneath the covers. And even more surprising, Kurogane was holding Fai in his arms, instead of the other way round.

"I'd never have guessed…" Syaoran muttered, beginning to think that he was hallucinating. The feeling disappeared as Mokona bounced into the room.

"Huu! Fai and Kurogane are sleeping together!" Mokona cheered, beginning to jump up and down on the bed.

"Umm, Mokona? Perhaps that's not a good idea…" Sakura began tentatively. The next thing they knew, a huge hand had shot out of nowhere to grab Mokona mid-bounce.

"Stop it, you damn pest!" Kurogane snarled, glaring at his captive. Mokona simply smiled, wiggling in Kurogane's grasp.

"But Mokona just got excited seeing Kurogane holding Fai so tenderly!"

Kurogane stiffened, glancing down to see that a) Fai was still in his bed, and b) that he was in fact holding said wizard close to him. Blushing bright red, Kurogane pushed Fai away from him, frantically trying to think of an excuse.

"Mmm...Kuro-wan?" Fai murmured sleepily, blue eyes cracking open to look up at the ninja. Kurogane gazed back, before roughly shoving the other man out of bed.

"Stupid mage! I've told you before, stay out of my bed!" Kurogane roared, putting as much anger into his voice as he could, hoping that his acting was convincing.

Evidently, it was. Fai's eyes clouded over slightly, and he stood up, brushing himself off.

"Fine…I'll leave Kuro-rin alone in the future." He replied, before pushing past Sakura and Syaoran and leaving the room. A few moments later, they heard the sound of the front door.

Kurogane stared after the wizard, beginning to feel guilty. >_Perhaps that acting was a little too convincing…>_ He acknowledged, regretting the way he had pushed Fai out of the bed so roughly.

"Umm…I'll be in the kitchen. Coming, Mokona?" Syaoran said slightly awkwardly, picking up Mokona and making his escape.

Kurogane groaned and buried his head in his hands, feeling a headache coming on.

"Kurogane-san?" The black swordsman looked up at the sound of Sakura's voice, frowning. He hadn't realised that the princess had stayed behind.

"What is it?" He asked gruffly. Sakura hesitated, before smiling softly.

"You shouldn't be afraid to admit to someone that you care about them. Love isn't a weakness…it's what makes you strong." She whispered. Before he could reply, she'd already gone.

Crimson eyes blinked as Kurogane took in what she'd said, and he cursed under his breath as he remembered a conversation he'd had once with Princess Tomoyo.

* * *

"_Kurogane? How do you define strength?"_

"_By my ability to defeat others, and how easy it is to do so. How else?"_

"_But are you sure that's the right way?"_

"_Huh? What are you on about!"_

"_I always thought that the best way to define strength was to be able to admit that you cared about people."_

"_That's just nonsense."_

"_Is it, Kurogane? Then tell me this…what's the point of having strength if you have no one to protect with it?"_

"……"

"_You don't have an answer do you? I believe that my definition is correct…however, that would make you the weakest of my ninjas, as opposed to the strongest."_

"_I'm not weak!"_

"_In matters of the heart, you are. And you will always be that way, unless you find the strength to care about people."_

"_Why should I want to be strong in matters of the heart! Physical strength is the most important thing!"_

"_Because one day Kurogane, you will meet someone that you love, and who loves you in return. But you will be unable to hold onto that person, because your own self-image of strength and coldness will blind you to the truly important issues at stake. You will drive them away through your own pettiness."_

"The damn bitch was right." Kurogane muttered, sliding out from underneath the covers. Hurriedly pulling on his trousers, he rushed out of the room, yanking his shirt over his head as he went.

"Kurogane's in a hurry!" Mokona giggled as the black whirlwind sped through the front door, leaving it to slam closed behind him.

"Where's he going?" Syaoran wondered, looking up from the rice balls he was making. Sakura smiled tenderly, still gazing after Kurogane.

"He's going to find Fai…and make it alright." She answered.

"Hmm?"

"He understands now…his fear of caring will no longer blind him to the love that's been in front of him all along." Sakura turned to look at Syaoran with a sunny expression on her face, before grabbing a handful of rice.

"Do you need any help, Syaoran-kun?" She offered. Syaoran smiled softly at her, then focused on his rice ball again. >_He's not the only one that's blind to love, Sakura…>

* * *

_

Fai walked slowly through the town's marketplace, arms wrapped tightly around himself. Bowing his head, Fai absentmindedly stepped out of the way of a group of merchants, ignoring the excited chattering he could hear about this week's bargains. >_I guess I'm still close enough to Mokona to understand the language.>_

"Sir? Are you alright?" Fai looked down at the voice, blinking in mild surprise as he saw a young woman and a much smaller girl standing in front of him, staring at him in concern. >_I didn't even realise that they were there...>_

"I'm fine." He replied, smiling warmly at them. The older girl seemed relieved, but the child kept looking at him.

"Are you sure? You look lonely…_are_ you lonely?" She asked in a high-pitched voice. Fai stiffened, before shaking his head and grinning again.

"I assure you, I'm perfectly fine." He repeated. The woman nodded, and led the little girl away, soon becoming lost in the crowds. Fai let out the breath that he'd been holding and continued on his way.

A pink petal floating to the ground in front of him made him look up, and he smiled tiredly as he realised that he'd arrived at the place he'd been aiming for.

When they'd first arrived yesterday, they'd had to ask around a bit before being able to find lodgings. As they'd explored the town, Fai had noticed an open garden, and had taken a quick glance around it. He had quickly realised that it was a shrine to one of the world's many gods, but hadn't really cared about that.

He'd only had eyes for the sakura tree.

Now, he approached the delicate looking tree, placing his hand on the patterned bark. A small gust of wind blew, and a flurry of petals fell down onto him. Gazing up into the branches, Fai lost himself in the peaceful surroundings that he'd been so drawn to, finally allowing himself to fully feel the pain that Kurogane's words had caused him.

Just like another, who had used his treacherous tongue to control him.

* * *

_Flashback_

A decorated metal door swung open, and a man with long dark hair strode into the chamber, long robes sweeping behind him. Inside, another man, wearing a blue and white hooded cloak, spun abruptly at the sound of the opening door.

"Ah, you're already here Fai." The man with long hair exclaimed softly, casually brushing a few dark strands of hair away from his face. Fai pushed back the hood of his cloak, finally allowing the other man to see his annoyed expression.

"Yes, Ashura-ou. If you recall, we arranged to meet at 12. It is now 12.30." Fai replied stiffly. Ashura frowned.

"Fai, my memory is flawless and I distinctly remember you saying that we'd meet at 12.30. So it is you that is _early_. You must have made a mistake."

Fai stared at him for a moment, before narrowing his blue eyes.

"Ashura-ou, I'm sure that we were meant to meet at 12. I even made a note of it in my log." He stated. Ashura crossed his arms across his chest, glaring angrily at his wizard.

"I've had it with you, Fai! No matter what I say, you always take offence, and you'll never admit that you're wrong! It feels like I'm the one doing all the giving in this relationship, and you're the one doing all the taking!" He snapped.

Turning away, he hid his face with a pale hand, and sighed quietly.

"I don't think that I can do this anymore, Fai…it's killing me." He murmured softly, shoulder beginning to shake in silent sobs. Fai's eyes widened, and he ran to his king, throwing long arms around the broad shoulders.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Don't leave me, Ashura-ou…I never realised that I treated you like that! Give me another chance…I swear that it will be different…" He cried, burying his head in Ashura's shoulder. Ashura turned to face him again, pulling the weeping mage into his embrace.

"It's ok, Fai. I forgive you. And don't worry…it's easy to make a mistake like that…" He soothed. Fai continued to sob, holding tightly to Ashura.

"I'm sorry, Ashura-ou…I'm sorry…I love you so much…"

"Shhh…" Ashura whispered, gently stroking Fai's back with one hand. The blonde never noticed the satisfied smirk that spread over Ashura's face, giving the beautiful features a dark and ugly look.

* * *

_New_ _Flashback_

"Ashura-ou? How come you never kiss me in public?" Fai asked softly, resting his head on Ashura's shoulder. The Seresu king looked down at him, and Fai giggled as the long strands of hair tickled his nose.

"It's not the done thing for a king to kiss someone like you in public." He answered simply. Fai gazed up at him.

"People like me? What do you mean?" He questioned, furrowing his brow slightly. Ashura sighed, and began to absent-mindedly pet Fai's hair.

"Remember, Fai…you're not of noble blood like the rest of us. You're just a commoner who happens to have a lot of magic." He replied. Fai jerked in shock, and he stared at his lover in shock. >_He's…he's never cared about that before…he said that he loved me, whatever my background was.>_

"A…Ashura-ou?"

"It's not like you can help it, I know that Fai. But think what the lords would say if they knew that their king was having a relationship with someone who was essentially a commoner?" Ashura murmured.

Fai bit his lip.

"Ashura-ou…are you ashamed of me?" He asked in a small voice. Ashura patted his head in reply.

"Don't worry, Fai…I won't leave you." He said vaguely. Fai's eyes filled with tears, and they began to stream down his cheeks as he heard the words between the lines.

"_I won't leave you…but yes, I'm ashamed of you."_

"Fai? Why are you crying, you silly wizard? Don't cry, Fai, it makes me feel horrible." Ashura muttered, brushing away the tears with his finger. Fai stopped immediately, not wanting to make Ashura feel bad.

"That's better. You look terrible when you cry. I'll be in the library if anyone needs me." Ashura stated, rising gracefully to his feet. As he reached the doorway he stopped suddenly, as though something important had just occurred to him, and twisted to face Fai again.

"Just a thought Fai…you might want to try smiling more. You've been looking so damned depressed lately." He announced, before breezing away, leaving Fai on his own. Fai stared after him, then turned to the mirror, studying his reflection.

And summoned up his first fake smile of many.

_End_ _Flashback

* * *

_

Burying his head in his hands, Fai dropped to his knees and began to cry, body shaking with the force of his sobs. >_Ashura-ou was right…I am someone to be ashamed of…it wasn't just Ashura-ou who felt embarrassed by me…Kuro-wan mustdo too. >_

Too upset to be paying attention to the dark shadow that suddenly loomed over him, Fai never noticed that someone had followed him into the garden.

Kurogane bit his lip as he took in the pitiful sight before him. Fai was crying. _Fai_, was crying. Fai, the annoyingly upbeat wizard who spent his time smiling and laughing was crying. Fai, who had never shed a single tear during the whole journey was sobbing his heart out beneath the sakura tree.

And it was all his fault.

"Hey…" Tentatively, Kurogane placed a surprisingly gently hand on the mage's sleeve. Fai jumped in shock, and twisted to face him, his eyes widening as he realised who it was. Looking down at the ground, he managed to hold the tears back long enough to get the painful words out.

"You're ashamed to be seen with me, aren't you? It's alright...I understand. I'm just some ill-bred scum, and you've probably got a long line of respectable ninjas in your family. You don't have to say anything…I realise that I must show you up."

Kurogane's crimson eyes softened, and he placed his hand across Fai's mouth, effectively shutting him up. At the mage's startled look, he smirked and shook his head.

"For your information, my 'long line of respectful ninjas' is non-existent. My family are blacksmiths, and have been for as long as anyone can remember. The only reason _I'm_ a ninja is because I'm damned if I'm going to end up shut inside with a roaring fire all day long. I'd roast!"

His grin faded, and he became serious, never taking his eyes off Fai's.

"I can't believe that you'd call yourself ill-bred…you're a noble wizard from some royal court, for God's sake!" He sighed in exasperation. Fai removed himself from Kurogane's grip, and just shook his head.

"I may be a wizard from the royal court, but I was never a noble." He laughed bitterly.

"I was a penniless orphan from the town who just happened to have the most magical power in the entire kingdom." He explained, lips twisting into a self-derisive smirk.

Kurogane stared at him, taking in the words. Fai had actually shared something about his past…the wizard had actually opened up a little to the ninja. But what he'd said…

Kurogane would never have guessed…the effortless grace Fai had when he moved, the way he found it easy to integrate himself into any kind of society…those were usually taught to nobles from an early age, and took years to perfect.

Kurogane had never realised that those skills were natural. He was about to say so, when he suddenly remembered something else that Fai had said to him.

"You think I'm ashamed of you? Of us being together?" He asked. Fai flushed and ducked his head.

"It's true, isn't it?" He mumbled. Kurogane had never felt more guilty than he did now.

"Maybe at first…I have to admit, when the kid and the princess saw us sharing a bed, I just wanted to pretend that it wasn't happening…but that wasn't because of _you_ – I just have problems admitting that I, how do you put it…have a heart?"

Fai chuckled, and Kurogane beamed.

"That's better, mage. But if you still have any doubts, I'll prove them wrong tomorrow." He announced. Fai blinked in confusion.

"What do you mean, Kuro-rin?"

"Well, since we've found the princess' feather, our job in this world is over. But I'm sure that the kid would let us have one day free to ourselves, now that the princess is more lifelike and has stopped falling asleep all the time."

Fai just looked even more confused now.

"We've found the feather? Did you guys find it after I'd gone?" He asked. Kurogane shook his head.

"Look up…or are you blind as well as stupid?" Fai looked up into the branches for the second time that day…and his face split into one of the widest smiles he'd ever had.

Nestled in the delicate branches of the tree, surrounded by a small flurry of blossoms…was Sakura's feather.

* * *

Wheet whoo! That chapter took a bit longer than I had planned! Stupid exams! Anyway, please do the usual thing...read and review! It keeps me going!

Tune in next time for the adventures of Kurogane and Fai as they go on their first 'date'...but will things turn sour?


	3. The Dawn Before The Darkness

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Chapter Three; The Dawn Before The Darkness**

"Kurogane-san! You're home! Did you manage to find Fai-san?" Sakura chirped, looking up as the door opened to reveal the black ninja. In answer to her question, Kurogane simply jerked his arm, and Fai stumbled into the room, unable to resist the tight grip on his hand.

Eyes filling with dramatic tears, Fai turned to Kurogane and threw his arms around his waist.

"Waa! Kuro-myu is so meeean! He hurt my hand!" He bawled. Kurogane glowered down at him, resisting the urge to wring the overenthusiastic wizard's neck.

"Well next time, come in faster then!" He snapped. Fai paused for a second, and Kurogane allowed himself the faint hope that the mage would shut up.

No such luck.

"Now Kuro-chin is saying mean things! He doesn't love me anymore!"

"Damn you, shut up!" Kurogane roared.

Smiling, Sakura watched the scene with sparkling emerald eyes. Just like she'd hoped, the pair had sorted things out. >_Everything's back to normal…>_

Fai let out a yelp as Kurogane drew his sword, and the wizard took off, leaving the ninja to chase after him. Sakura just left them be, giggling to herself. >_Yup…everything's back to normal.>

* * *

_

"Oi! Kid! We're going to give the princess another feather, so either you get in here, or miss it!" Kurogane called through the doorway, hoping that Syaoran would be able to hear him. After having to search for that damn mage, Kurogane wasn't really in the mood for finding people again anytime soon.

There was the sound of running footsteps and Syaoran suddenly skidded into the room, panting slightly. He was holding one of the books from the study, and Kurogane smirked as he saw the title; '_Legends Of The Takahojis_.' >_That kid really is obsessed with old stories.>_

"I'm here!" Syaoran gasped, eyes quickly scanning the room out of habit, as he located the princess. Sakura beamed.

"Kurogane-san found my feather when he was searching for Fai-san! I can't wait to see what else I remember now…right, Syaoran-kun?"

Syaoran deflated slightly, but summoned up a sincere smile for her. >_Even though I know that Sakura won't remember me, I must still be happy for her.>_

"Right, Sakura-hime." He murmured. From the corner of his eye, he could see the regretful look he was getting from Fai, and hoped that Sakura wasn't as observant as the wizard. Luckily, she wasn't.

"Can I have my feather now, Kurogane-san?" Sakura chirped happily, completely missing how sad Syaoran's eyes were. The ninja nodded, and held the pink plume over her head.

"There you go." He said, allowing it to slip from his fingers.

They watched as it fluttered down, before slipping into Sakura through a rippling effect that had formed above her. Sakura's emerald eyes widened, and she swayed as the memory rushed back into its rightful place.

* * *

_Flashback_

A little girl was laughing as she dipped her hand into the stream, giggling as the golden fish cleverly evaded her grasping fingers. Turning to an empty space beside her, Sakura smiled.

"Come on /……./. Father says that it's ok to play by the water as long as we don't fall in!" She pleaded. Leaning back over the water, she gave a startled squeak as she slipped in the mud, falling head first into the stream.

However, she never hit the water. The empty space somehow grabbed her hand, and Sakura beamed as it pulled her upright again.

"Thankyou /…….! If you hadn't been there, I'd have got wet, and Father would have stopped me from playing here!"

The empty space remained silent, but Sakura laughed and began to run back towards the castle.

"If it's really time to go back /……., then you'll have to race me! Come on, last one back has to 'borrow' Touya's cloak for our game!"

_End_ _Flashback

* * *

_

"Princess! Are you alright?" Sakura blinked, and realised immediately that she was being held in Syaoran's arms. Blushing faintly, she got up, smiling brightly.

"I had another memory from when I was little! It was summer, and I was playing by the stream! I slipped, but the empty space that I'd been talking to saved me from falling in! It was just like my birthday party…there was no one there. Why does it keep happening, Syaoran-kun?"

Syaoran bit his lip at the question. He hated lying to the princess, but if he told her the truth she'd only collapse and forget it again. So in the end, it would be less painful for Sakura if he just put her mind to rest with a small lie.

"Perhaps you had an imaginary friend when you were a child? When people grow up, they find it hard to remember their old made-up friends, because of their new ones." He answered. Sakura frowned.

"But I had such fun with that space…why would I forget my imaginary friend as soon as I had real ones?" She asked. Syaoran smiled gently.

"Because Sakura-hime had so many friends, she forgot her imaginary one. She was too busy bringing sunshine into other people's lives, and lost her memories of the fun she'd had with the imaginary friend, through no fault of her own."

Syaoran sighed quietly to himself. It hadn't quite been a lie…but it was far enough from the truth to uphold Yuuko's deal. Whatever, it seemed to satisfy the princess.

"Oh! Thankyou for explaining to me, Syaoran-kun!" Sakura smiled.

Syaoran just inclined his head, thinking back to what had really happened that day.

* * *

_Flashback_

A little girl was laughing as she dipped her hand into the stream, giggling as the golden fish cleverly evaded her grasping fingers. Turning to the small boy who stood beside her, Sakura smiled.

"Come on, Syaoran. Father says that it's ok to play by the water as long as we don't fall in!" She pleaded. Leaning back over the water, she gave a startled squeak as she slipped in the mud, falling head first into the stream.

However, she never hit the water. Syaoran grabbed her hand, and Sakura beamed as he pulled her upright again.

"Thankyou, Syaoran! If you hadn't been there, I'd have got wet, and Father would have stopped me from playing here!"

Syaoran's amber eyes softened, and he bowed his head slightly.

"I didn't want you to get in trouble, Sakura. And you might have caught a chill if you'd got wet. Maybe we'd better go back to the castle." He said quietly.

Sakura laughed and began to run back towards the castle.

"If it's really time to go back, Syaoran, then you'll have to race me! Come on, last one back has to 'borrow' Touya's cloak for our game!"

She took off running, and Syaoran stayed back a moment, giving her a head start. Then, judging her to be far enough ahead for him to be unable to catch up, he began to run after her.

_End_ _Flashback

* * *

_

"Syaoran-kun? Are you alright? You looked all sad." Sakura whispered. Syaoran started, and willed his sense of melancholy away.

"Just a passing thought, Your Highness. If you need me, I'll be in the study. I'm glad that you found Fai-san, Kurogane-san."

Not trusting himself to stay calm much longer, Syaoran hurried out of the room, wondering just how much pain he'd have to go through before Sakura's memory was as complete as it would ever be again.

* * *

Kurogane walked down the passage to the back of the house that they had rented, grumbling as his black cloak snagged on a loose nail. Stopping to pull it loose, he carried on, silently wondering how many more doors he had left to pass. For a house that looked small on the outside, it sure had a lot of rooms. 

Finally finding the right room, Kurogane kicked open the door, and barged in, too impatient to bother with trivial things like knocking. As his eyes took in the sight before him, his mouth dropped open, and he made a small choking sound.

Books. Not just a couple, like Kurogane had expected, but hundreds. Maybe even thousands. It seemed that this room was larger than the others in the house, and every available bit of wall space was covered in book shelves. Not to mention the numerous bookcases littering the floor and turning the room into something more like a maze.

"Kurogane-san?"

"Gaah!" Kurogane jumped as a head appeared out of nowhere to gaze at him over the top of a bookcase. The head frowned.

"Kurogane-san, are you feeling alright?" Syaoran asked. Grumbling about kids who suddenly materialised to scare ten years off his life, Kurogane strode down the small labyrinth of free floor space, dodging random piles of books to eventually reach the correct bookcase.

Looking up, Kurogane realised that Syaoran was standing on a sort of ladder, which was why the kid had just appeared.

"I thought you said that this was a _study_, kid, not a library." He muttered, glancing around at the various tomes. Syaoran shrugged.

"It's what the landlord called it, so I guess the name kind of stuck. I was just glancing through the books, to see if there was anything worthwhile."

"More legends and ruins?" Kurogane asked. Syaoran shook his head.

"I found some volumes on various worlds. It seems that the person who originally owned this house hired people to travel to other worlds, and report back to him via a magical device. He'd then write up their findings in his books."

Kurogane tensed.

"But if they could travel to another world more than once…then that damn Space Time Witch needn't have made such a fuss about being the only one who could send people!" He growled.

Syaoran shook his head.

"Those who travelled never returned to this world. He only chose those who didn't care that they wouldn't be able to go home again." He explained, taking another leather-bound book from the shelf.

Kurogane was silent for a moment, digesting this fact, when Syaoran suddenly spoke up again.

"Did you want something, Kurogane-san? Because if you excuse me for saying, you don't seem like someone who loves books."

Kurogane jumped, and remembered what he'd originally come in here for.

"Since we've got the princess' feather, I guess we'll be moving on soon." He began. Syaoran nodded, absent-mindedly book-marking a page and dropping the book onto the steadily growing pile beside him.

"I think Mokona is going to transport us sometime tomorrow morning."

"Then, could you ask it to wait a day?" Kurogane asked quickly. _That_ got the kid's full attention. Looking up sharply, Syaoran stared levelly at the black swordsman.

"For what reason? I would have thought you'd be glad that we could finally move worlds, as it's one world closer to you returning home." Syaoran commented. Kurogane coughed uncomfortably, beginning to fiddle with his cloak.

"I…I thought that if we had an extra day before we moved on, I'd be able to…make it up to Fai." He mumbled. Syaoran smiled, and nodded down at the ninja.

"And you want me to ask Mokona, as I seem to be the one who he takes orders from regarding travel? Ok. I'll do it as soon as I've finished sorting out this shelf."

Kurogane's head shot up.

"You don't mind? I figured that you'd be too wound up about the girl." He exclaimed. Syaoran shrugged.

"Since Sakura is practically back to full health, it's not such a necessity to find the feathers so quickly. We can spare a day."

Kurogane nodded gruffly, then flushed a brilliant red as he realised what he's have ask now. Looking down at the floor, he blurted out;

"I-also-need-to-know-what-you-do-on-a-date!"

Syaoran jerked in surprise, and would have fallen off the ladder if his reflexes hadn't been quite so good. Blinking down at Kurogane, he seemed lost for words.

"You want to know what to do on a date?" He questioned. Kurogane nodded hard, completely embarrassed by now. >_Although, if the kid had laughed…I wouldn't have been held responsible for my actions.>_

"Well, to tell you the truth Kurogane-san…I'm not exactly sure." Syaoran said thoughtfully. Kurogane face faulted.

"What do you mean you're not sure?" He raged, clenching his hand into a fist. Syaoran just gave him a confused look.

"I'm 15, Kurogane-san." Kurogane's left eye began to twitch.

"Exactly! In my world, people your age are a bundle of raging hormones! So unless it's different in Clow, or wherever you came from…"

"No, you're correct. Teenagers go through just as many emotional changes in Clow as any other world." Syaoran broke in.

"Then. Why. The. Hell haven't you been on any dates!" Kurogane snapped. Syaoran raised a sarcastic eyebrow.

"In case you've forgotten, Kurogane-san, I've loved Sakura for several years. She was the only person I cared about in that way, and I was _unable_ to 'date' her." He said dryly. Kurogane growled, fighting the urge to slaughter the kid. Although, thinking about when he'd seen the kid fight, Syaoran might have actually beaten him.

"But if you're desperate…I guess some of the things I did with Sakura could have counted as dates. The only thing different was that…" Syaoran blushed, and Kurogane began to smirk.

"That you never kissed?" Syaoran glared at him, but nodded.

"So what should I do?" Kurogane groaned, tired of this conversation.

"Take him places that you think he'd like. Say nice things to him." Syaoran said simply, returning to his books. Kurogane stared in disbelief.

"That's it!"

Syaoran nodded.

"But how I am meant to know what he likes?" Kurogane spluttered.

"That's not my department. If I were you, I'd ask Sakura for help about that." Syaoran murmured, flipping through some loose pages he's found.

"DAMNIT!"

* * *

"Kuro-nin! Where are you taking me?" Fai chirped as Kurogane dragged him through the street. Kurogane twisted his head round to glare at him slightly. 

"Just shut up and keep walking! We're on a schedule here!" He barked. Fai blinked in mild surprise, but remained silent, deciding that it would be easier if he just let the ninja have his own way for now.

After all, he'd never seen Kurogane so enthusiastic - outside of a fight, that is - as he had been this morning waking Fai up.

* * *

_Flashback_

"Fai! Oi, Fai! Come on, you damn mage, get up!" At the loud voice calling his name, Fai turned sleepily to the source, blinking dazedly up at Kurogane. The other man was already dressed, and Fai wondered why the ninja was so anxious to get going.

"Kuro-mune? Are we going to the next world already?" He murmured, glancing at the alarm clock that they'd found in the bedroom when they'd arrived. Kurogane smirked and shook his head, yanking the covers off.

"Nope. We have an extra day here, and I don't intend to waste it! So get up now! I have plans for today, and I can't carry them out without you!" Kurogane announced. Fai began to reach for the covers, snuggling deeper into his pillow.

"But Kuro-min, I'm soooo tired…" He yawned. Kurogane simply growled and threw the covers across the room, glaring down at the wizard.

"Tough. Get up. Now." Kurogane expected Fai to carry on moaning, or even to fall asleep again, but to his surprise, Fai leapt up from the bed as though he'd been lying on a bed of springs.

"Ok, Kuro-kichi! I'm up!" Fai giggled. Kurogane sweatdropped, watching as the Seresu wizard began to dance around the room.

"What on earth do I see in him anyway…" He muttered to himself.

_End_ _Flashback

* * *

_

"Ah! Right Fai, we need to make a stop here." Kurogane declared, turning left into one of the shops. Fai had just enough time to see what was written on the sign – _Frijid's Groceries_ – before he was dragged inside after him.

"Fai, could you grab a basket for me a minute, please?" Kurogane asked. Fai nodded and went off to find one, although he was still confused. Was this what Kuro-wan had been so worked up about? Going shopping? He'd thought that the other man hated shopping, because Kurogane always found an excuse to leave when the gang ran out of supplies, or Sakura wanted to go look at the boutiques.

Kurogane, finding the bemused glances that Fai was giving him very amusing, turned to the shelves of food and began choosing from the brands. He hesitated as he came to a certain selection of food, and turned over each item, carefully examining the label. In the end, he sighed and gave up, beginning to simply take two of each brand.

"Kuro-pan! I got the basket!" Fai bounced up, holding the basket out for Kurogane to take. Kurogane quickly dumped the food into it, being careful not to let the mage see the things he'd just been pondering over.

"Ok. I'll just pay for this, and we can be on our way." Fai's blue eyes widened as he saw how much Kurogane was buying, and he stared at the ninja.

"Kuro-pya! This will cost a lot of money!" He gasped. Kurogane shook his head, smiling.

"It doesn't matter anyway. We're leaving tonight, so we won't need this world's money anymore." Kurogane pointed out. Fai's mouth opened in a comic 'o' of surprise.

"Oh! Kuro-tako's so smart!" He gushed. Kurogane rolled his eyes and began making his way to the checkout.

"Just because you're so dumb at times…"

"Waaa! Kuro-woof's meeeean!"

* * *

"We're nearly there now. It's just through those weeping willows." Kurogane said. With the bags of food, he'd been unable to drag the wizard anymore, but luckily Fai had decided to cooperate and follow like a good little wizard. The mage hadn't even stopped to window shop, which was a first for him.

"Could we stop under the willows for a moment, Kuro-tan? They're my favourite tree…" Fai murmured, gazing longingly at the trailing branches blowing in the gentle breeze. Kurogane smirked to himself – it looked like his researchers had been right.

"On the other side. We'll stop on the other side of the trees, Fai." Kurogane promised. Taking one of the wizard's gloved hands in his own, he gently tugged Fai through the leaves and out to the other side. An awed gasp sounded, and Kurogane turned smiling to look at his boyfriend's expression.

Fai was staring around himself wide-eyed, looking as though he was unable to take it all in.

"It's _beautiful_, Kurogane…" He breathed.

And indeed it was. The willows they'd passed through were really part of a ring of willows that circled a large lake. The water was perfectly still, clearly reflecting the clouds above, and the only sound was the trill of a bird's song.

Clearly still struck with wonder, Fai bent down to examine the field of flowers that they were standing in, gently fingering the soft petals. Voice brimming with emotion, he faced Kurogane again, and said;

"It's just like a dream…I've always imagined somewhere like this, and I hoped that if it really existed, I'd be able to go there one day…I…thankyou!

Lost for words for the first time since his childhood, Fai flung his arms around Kurogane and held him tightly. Kurogane gently lifted a hand to caress the wizard's back, and they stood there for a while, just holding each other.

After a while, Fai pulled back to look Kurogane in the eye, his own blue ones sparkling with happiness.

"How did you…_why_ did you…"

"You may recall a certain young princess pestering you incessantly yesterday evening about things that you liked, and what your dreams were. And as for _why_, I felt that I had to make it up to you about the things I said." Kurogane replied.

Fai chuckled, and gazed out over the lake.

"I thought that Sakura-chan was being remarkably persistent. I just figured that she was on one of her obsessions about knowing everyone better. But how did you find this place?"

"When we first got here and split up to look for the feather, I decided to try looking in the hills, as opposed to the town like the rest of you. And I accidentally stumbled across this." Kurogane answered. Dropping down into a sitting position, he indicated that Fai did the same, and began to rummage through the bag of food.

Once Fai was comfortably seated among the flowers, Kurogane pulled out 2 baguettes and a variety of fillings, arranging the food on a nearby rock. Drawing a knife out of his cloak, he began to butter the rolls, smiling benevolently at the Seresu wizard.

"I thought that we could have a proper date for a change…how about a picnic?" Fai laughed happily and nodded, leaning against Kurogane as they began to eat.

The day passed by quickly, and Fai felt like he'd never been happier. He and Kurogane had spent hours talking, or just holding each other, and it had felt like heaven. Feeling like he ought to express this somehow, he leant up and kissed Kurogane gently on the lips.

"Thankyou. This day has just been…I can't describe it. Thankyou." He whispered. Kurogane smirked, and drew out the last items from the bag.

"We haven't got to the best part yet." He whispered.

Fai's eyes grew wide as he saw what Kurogane was holding, and he stared at the Japanese man.

"Kuro-chan…you bought…_chocolate_!" He exclaimed, grabbing one of the packets from the ninja and holding it close. Kurogane laughed.

"My little spy-princess also told me how much you loved this stuff. Said that you waxed poetical about it when she asked what your favourite food was."

Fai smiled bashfully, already tearing the foil open to take a huge bite of the creamy snack. Immediately, his eyes filled with tears, and he let out a happy sniffle.

"So good…Kuro-pii bought good chocolate!"

* * *

All good things must come to an end, and soon the pair had to reluctantly pack up and head home, although Fai insisted that they held hands all the way. Still laughing among themselves, they arrived back at the house totally relaxed and peaceful.

It didn't last long.

"Hyuu! Mokona thinks Fai and Kurogane look cute together!"

"Gaah!" Kurogane leapt backwards, clutching his chest. Fai laughed at him, and held out his hand for Mokona to jump onto.

"Did Fai have a nice time with Kurogane?" Mokona chirped. Fai's smile widened, and he nodded.

"Yup. Kuro-pin was very romantic."

"That's good! Because if Kurogane had made Fai cry again, Mokona would have beaten him up!" The manjuu bun declared.

Fai chuckled.

"Is that one of your 108 special techniques, Mokona?" He asked. Mokona nodded, and struck a heroic pose.

"Uhuh! Super Heroic Protector!" A fist swung out of nowhere, and smacked Mokona off Fai's hand. Kurogane soon followed the fist.

"Look, manjuu bun, we were having a quiet time until you showed up!" He snarled.

"Fai quiet? You two must have been busy." Mokona said slyly from his place on the floor. Kurogane flushed a deep red.

"Why you little…it was nothing like that at all!" He growled. Fai beamed at him, then turned to Mokona.

"We were busy all afternoon, and most of the morning too. Kuro-wan was very good." He whispered confidentially.

Kurogane let out a sound between a wail and a roar.

"Not you too! We're only back ten minutes and you turn into a crazy idiot again!" He moaned. Fai winked, and threw his arms around the crumpling ninja.

"But you love me anyway, right Kuro-pin?"

"……"

"Fai-san! Kurogane-san! You're back!" The trio looked up as Syaoran and Sakura entered the room, carrying a few bags between them.

"We packed your things for you while you were out. We thought it would save time – I hope you don't mind." Syaoran said, placing the bags in the doorway.

"As long as the manjuu bun stayed out of my things, I'm happy." Kurogane sniffed. Syaoran and Sakura exchanged glances.

"Right…then I guess you're ok…Kurogane-san." Sakura murmured slowly. Kurogane stared at the pair suspiciously.

"You're hiding something…"

"Mokona helped pack! Kuro-pun has nice things!" Mokona giggled. Before anyone could blink, Mokona was sailing across the room, and out of the door.

"That's better." Kurogane sighed, brushing his hands off. Fai rested his head on the swordsman's shoulder, making tutting noises.

"Wheet whoo! It's not nice to hit Mokona like that. One day you'll break him."

"Good."

"Anyway, how was your date?" Sakura asked. Fai turned beaming to her.

"It was wonderful! Kurogane took me to this lake surrounded by willow trees, and gave me things to eat like chocolate. Then he took me in his arms and…"

"…And held him. Anything else this idiot says is a lie." Kurogane butted in, glaring at the wizard. He'd be damned if he let that lie start up again. Fai simply blinked innocently at him. Kurogane wasn't fooled.

Syaoran smiled.

"It's good that you two had a nice time together. Although I've been meaning to ask…when exactly did you become a couple?" He asked. Kurogane shrugged.

"That world where we had to buy supplies for Fai's hand…Romansu."

The corner of Syaoran's mouth twitched, and he was unable to hold in a chuckle. Kurogane eyed him curiously.

"What so funny?"

"Kurogane-san…do you know what that world's name translates as?" Syaoran sniggered. Kurogane shook his head.

"It means 'Romance'." Syaoran laughed. Kurogane's eyes bulged out of his head, and Fai laughed, hugging him.

"So Kuro-rin was romantic enough to confess his undying love in the world of romance!" He cheered. Kurogane glared at him.

"Who said anything about undying?"

"Waaa! Kuro-myu does…"

"Not again!"

* * *

The group stood together in the yard, bags in a neat pile next to them. Mokona was bouncing happily, seemingly fine for the quick flight he'd taken via Kurogane Aircraft.

"Puu! Time to go!" Mokona announced. The gem on his forehead began to glow as he summoned power, and the gang moved a little closer together in preparation for the journey.

"_Fai! Fai!_"

Fai looked around at the sound of his name being called, but he soon realised that it wasn't any of his comrades. Wondering who was calling him, his eyes widened as the voice sounded again and he realised who it was.

"_Fai! Fai, can you hear me?_"

"Chii! Chii, what's wrong? What's going on!" Fai demanded, frowning as he began to get a bad feeling about why she was making contact.

"Fai-san? Who are you talking to?" Syaoran asked in confusion, not hearing anything except Fai talking. Fai ignored him, moving out of the group's small circle to pace worriedly.

"_It's Ashura, Fai! He's waking up! He's almost broken through the glass coffin!_"

Fai stiffened, coming to a standstill.

"Don't let him escape, Chii. Try and hold him!" He said urgently.

"Who's Fai-san talking to?" Sakura whispered. To her surprise, it was Kurogane who answered.

"I guess that the wizard left someone to guard the person who's after him. And from the sound of it, that person is waking up." He said seriously.

"_I can't do it, Fai! He's too strong!_"

"Please, Chii! Just hold on!" Fai begged.

"_I'm sorry, Fai…he's too strong…ah! Fai!_"

A sudden agonising pain wracked Fai's body and he fell to his knees with a cry, trembling. Getting up again, he tried to regain contact with Chii.

"Chii? Chii? Can you hear me? _Chii_!"

He whirled to face the group, and they stared at him. Blue eyes wide and fearful, body shaking with terror, this was a Fai that they'd never seen before.

"Fai-san…" Syaoran tried.

Fai just began to back away, shaking his head.

"I have to get out of here…he's coming…Ashura's awake and he's coming!" He cried in a voice cracked by fear. Turning around, he took off running, only for Kurogane to dash after him and grab his arm.

"Let me go, Kurogane! Please!" Fai begged, trying to free himself. Kurogane shook his head, keeping his grip tight.

"Where will you go? Fai, you have to think clearly. He'll find you if you just run – we have to switch worlds!"

Fai shook his head, blonde hair flying about his face wildly.

"Don't you understand? It's _too late_! He'll come straight here, and then he'll just skip worlds until he catches up to me! Please, just let me _go_!"

"No. I promised myself that I'd protect you, and I can't do that if I'm not with you." Kurogane said, and with those words he pulled Fai closer to him, capturing the quivering lips in a kiss.

At first, Fai struggled against him, like a bird caught in the claws of a cat. But then the sense of security and safety that Kurogane was offering him sunk in, and with a sob he began to kiss back, fear turning his kiss into one of almost desperation.

They remained like that for a moment, before there was a sudden flash of light and a smooth voice split the air.

"Well, well. Looks like you _have_ been busy, Fai."

Fai wrenched himself out of Kurogane's arms, and his face lost all colour as he stared at the newcomer in absolute terror.

"Ashura-ou…"


	4. Reopening Wounds

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Chapter Four; Reopening Wounds**

"No. I promised myself that I'd protect you, and I can't do that if I'm not with you." Kurogane said, and with those words he pulled Fai closer to him, capturing the quivering lips in a kiss.

At first, Fai struggled against him, like a bird caught in the claws of a cat. But then the sense of security and safety that Kurogane was offering him sunk in, and with a sob he began to kiss back, fear turning his kiss into one of almost desperation.

They remained like that for a moment, before there was a sudden flash of light and a smooth voice split the air.

"Well, well. Looks like you _have_ been busy, Fai."

Fai wrenched himself out of Kurogane's arms, and his face lost all colour as he stared at the newcomer in absolute terror.

"Ashura-ou…"

* * *

Kurogane glared mistrustfully at the newcomer, hating this person for the cracked shell he had made out of Fai. Ashura, noticing his dark look, simply smirked and tossed his long dark hair over his shoulder. 

Something about him made Syaoran wary, and he moved in front of Sakura protectively. He didn't know why Fai was so scared of this man, but he trusted the mage. If Fai thought this guy was bad news, than bad news he was.

Fai was just staring at Ashura, mouth hanging open slightly in shock. He'd known Ashura was fast, but not _that_ fast. >_How did he find me so quickly? I should have had time to get away…>_

"Fai! What do you think you're doing, you idiot! Come back!" Kurogane barked. Fai jerked in shock, realising that he'd been walking towards Ashura as he thought. >_Even now, something about him draws me to him.> _Fai thought bitterly.

But before he could move back, Ashura's hand shot out, grabbing Fai's wrist in a vicelike grip. Fai gasped, and tried to pull free, but Ashura's hold on him stayed firm.

"Honestly, Fai." Ashura began, twisting his wrist sharply so that the wizard hissed in pain as his arm was bent the wrong way, so hard that bones threatened to break.

"I turn my back on you for 5 minutes, and you seal me away, skip dimensions, and join some foolhardy quest. And when I finally find you, you're kissing another man! Is that any way to treat your lover?" Ashura asked in a soft voice laden with malice.

Behind them, Kurogane gasped as he heard what Ashura said. Staring frantically at Fai, he looked for any sign that it was a lie. But to his shock, Fai just gulped and looked away from Ashura, a shamed expression on his face.

_>They were together…>_ Suddenly, it all made sense to Kurogane. He remembered how when they'd first got together, Fai had confessed to being in love once before, and that it hadn't turned out well. Kurogane hadn't pushed it, as he'd realised that the subject was hurting Fai. But now…

"Dear, dear. It sounds like your little boyfriend didn't know about our past. Did you keep him in the dark about us, Fai? Did you betray him like you betrayed me?" Ashura's mild tones hid a deadliness that was all too obvious, and Fai squirmed futilely in an effort to get away from the poisonous words.

"Let me go, Ashura-ou…please…I didn't betray you! I just…I just…" Fai was on the verge of tears, trying desperately to reassemble the mask of smiles he'd been hiding behind for so long. Ashura simply shook his head and tightened his grip even more.

"If you didn't betray me, then what do you call putting your lover into an enchanted sleep and sealing him away in a coffin surrounded by a whirlpool?" Ashura sneered. Letting go of the mage's wrist, he reached into his robes and drew out a blue net, tossing it almost carelessly at Fai.

"Oh, and here's that servant creature you made. A pity…she was between me and the exit, so she had to go. But never mind...it wasn't like she was _real_." He smirked.

Fai let out a harsh cry and grabbed at the net, holding it close to his chest. Rocking back and forth as he knelt on the ground, he wept bitter tears over the loss of what had become his only friend in Seresu. When he had felt the blinding pain, and had communication cut off, he'd guessed what had happened. But he hadn't wanted to believe it.

Watching Fai breaking down in front of him snapped something inside of Kurogane. Pulling his sword from its scabbard, he charges towards Ashura with a roar, intent on cutting down the person who had hurt his Fai so. The death of Ashura would activate Tomoyo's curse, but he no longer cared.

Fai looked up sharply at the battle cry, blue eyes widening as he realised what Kurogane was doing. Dropping the Chii net, he leapt to his feet and ran between Kurogane and Ashura, arms spread wide.

"No! Stop, Kurogane!" He shouted.

Kurogane cursed, but managed to turn his blade aside just in time, only trimming a few blonde hairs from the wizard's head. Snarling, he glared at Fai, expression dark.

"What are you doing! I could have killed you!" He barked.

Fai just stared determinedly up at him.

"If you'd tried to attack him, he _would_ have killed _you_, Kuro-wan. He's got powerful magic, and no sword can stand up to that, even if the wielder is an experienced warrior." He said pleadingly.

Kurogane blinked, instantly feeling guilty. He'd actually thought that the wizard had for some reason wanted to protect _Ashura_…but really Fai had just been looking out for _him_.

The moment was spoiled as a pair of slender arms came out of nowhere to wind around Fai's waist, bringing the trembling wizard back against Ashura's chest. Fai whimpered, and began to squirm, but Ashura simply rested his head on the other man's shoulder.

Noticing how Kurogane's hand was beginning to sneak towards Fai's, Ashura made a tutting sound in the back of his throat.

"None of that, Kurogane, or Fai here will receive an unpleasant surprise." He chuckled. His hands glowed blue to illustrate the point, and Kurogane backed off rapidly, not wanting Fai to be hurt.

"And if you even try it, then your darling little girl will be ash." Ashura continued. Behind him, Syaoran froze in the middle of his attack, amber eyes darting back to where Sakura was standing anxiously. Kurogane growled under his breath. >_How did he know Syaoran was behind him? The kid was silent…>_

"Ashura-ou…Ashura-ou, let me go." Fai pleaded, struggling to remove the arms that had wound themselves so tightly round him. Ashura smiled, and moved a hand to pet the blonde wizard on the head.

"Hush, Fai…you know I wouldn't really hurt you…I _love_ you." He whispered softly into Fai's ear.

Fai's eyes widened, and he gradually became limp in Ashura's arms, relaxing into the touch. Kurogane stared in shock.

"Fai…?" Ashura smirked at the ninja's betrayed look, and lessened his grip on Fai slightly, just enough to allow the mage almost free movement.

"He's made his choice, Kurogane. Fai stays with…"

"_Now_, Kurogane!" Fai yelled, ducking sharply. Ashura's eyes widened as Kurogane suddenly swept the sword down, too fast for him to dodge or use magic to stop the ninja. Fai's ploy had worked.

Kurogane grinned victoriously as the blade slashed down, already feeling the way…that...it…severed flesh? Kurogane pulled back in shock as Ashura disappeared before the metal could even graze him. Released, Fai collapsed forward, blue eyes urgently searching the surrounding area.

"Fai…" Kurogane reached down and pulled the other man up, gently drawing him into his arms. With a sob, Fai buried his head in Kurogane's shoulder, his whole body trembling from the shock.

Nearby, Syaoran held Sakura just as closely to him. Ashura's threat had unnerved him, and he felt that he needed to be as close to Sakura as possible to protect her. Noticing that Mokona was getting ready to bounce over to Fai, probably to 'cheer' him up, Syaoran blocked him with his foot, shaking his head. It wasn't the time for things like that.

"Is he gone? Kuro-muu, is he gone?" Fai asked urgently. Kurogane tightened his grip round the mage, pulling him closer as Fai broke down again.

"I don't know, Fai…he just vanished. I don't know where he…"

Before he could finish the sentence, a blue glow surrounded Fai, and the wizard disappeared. Gasping in shock, Kurogane leapt to his feet, looking wildly around him.

"Fai? _Fai_!"

"Is this what you're looking for?" A smooth voice questioned, and Kurogane turned round with a distinct sense of foreboding. Standing on the roof, perfectly unharmed, was Ashura. Once again, his arms were tightly wound around Fai, and the blonde was clearly shaking with the terror of being so close to his king.

"Fai-san! Let him go!" Sakura cried, emerald eyes widening. Ashura laughed.

"Do you really think that I'd do that, just because you asked me to? Fai is _mine_, little girl, and no amount of pleading will change that." He sneered. In his arms, Fai began to squirm again, frowning.

"I'm not yours, Ashura-ou! If I belong to anyone, it's Kuro-chin!" He snapped. Kurogane sighed in relief, glad that Fai was slowly recovering his composure. Unfortunately, the little composure that Fai had recovered was promptly lost as Ashura's right hand moved to caress the mage's face.

"So stubborn…" He murmured. "But you forget, Fai…without your tattoo, you have no way of controlling that lovely power of yours. And without that power, you will never be strong enough to fight me."

Kurogane began to twitch, hand inching towards Souhi once more. If this was the kind of thing that Ashura had always whispered in Fai's ear, then no wonder the fool had become such a shell of a person. From the corner of his eye, he could see Syaoran glaring angrily up at the Seresuan monarch, but it was clear that the kid was unwilling to leave the princess' side, in case Ashura followed up on his promise.

_>That damn spellcaster…he's set us up like a chess set, and now he's all ready to take one of our pieces!>_ He snarled to himself. He knew that something wasn't right here. The shock in Fai's eyes as Ashura had appeared so suddenly, the way his mouth had dropped open slightly…all things pointed towards the fact that Ashura shouldn't have been able to come here so quickly. But _how_ had he done it?

"Syaoran! Syaoran!" Mokona chirped, bouncing up and down to get the teenager's attention. Syaoran looked down, and gasped as he saw what it was Mokona wanted him to see.

"Mokona! Your eyes!" He exclaimed, seeing how large Mokona's eyes had become. Mokona nodded, and continued bouncing.

"I can sense a wave from the feather, Syaoran! It's coming from him!" Mokona announced, pointing up at Ashura.

"_What_?"

Ashura laughed at Syaoran's expression of horror, and dipped his hand into his cloak, drawing out something that they all recognised. One of Sakura's feathers, beautiful in its pink fragility, hovered in the air above his hand, glittering in the light.

"You mean this? Yes, it's been very useful in tracking my dear Fai down…without it, I would have actually had to rest between journeys between worlds!" He laughed. Kurogane growled, and knew that he couldn't take that smug smirk anymore.

With a roar, he threw Souhi with all his strength, watching as it sailed towards Ashura's head, knowing that it was right on target, and would miss Fai completely. But to his surprise, Ashura didn't even try to doge.

Instead, as the sword was about to hit him, the feather glowed, and Souhi shattered into a thousand shards, falling uselessly to the roof. Kurogane cursed, and Ashura began to laugh again.

"My my, Kurogane. Did you actually think that I'd be stopped by something as easily broken as a sword?" He sneered. Kurogane just stared up at him in shock, his red eyes slowly trailing over the remains of his beloved weapon.

"I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't get in my way anymore. It's so tiresome having to stop your little challenges in their tracks. I've…what!" Ashura was cut off mid-victory speech as Fai suddenly made a grab for the feather, knocking it off Ashura's hand. Seizing it, he released it into the wind, praying that it would be carried down to the ground.

To his extreme delight, it was.

Not wasting any time, Syaoran leapt into the air and grabbed the feather, before whirling round to drop it onto Sakura, watching as the precious memory vanished into her body.

"How _dare_ you disobey me?" Ashura bellowed at the unfortunate Fai. Fai simply smiled sadly at him.

"I'm sorry, Ashura-ou, but I couldn't let you keep that feather. It belongs to Sakura-chan." He said tiredly.

Ashura's expression darkened, and his hands began to glow blue once more.

"And you belong to me! Yet again, you have betrayed me, Fai!" He snapped.

Later, Kurogane would remember that moment as though everything was moving in slow motion. Because that was what it felt like to him as the events unfolded before his eyes.

There was the angry crackling sound of an explosion. The clouds of smoke rising up from the roof. The way that Fai screamed as the force of the attack threw him clear off the roof, his clothes burnt and smouldering around him.

The sickening thud as Fai landed head first onto the hard concrete of the yard.

"_Fai_!" Kurogane ran to his boyfriend's side, feeling the previously unknown sensation of tears rushing to his eyes as he took in the pale and unmoving form of someone who was so dear to him.

"Don't be dead…just don't be dead…" He muttered desperately as he drew the limp body into his arms, staring fearfully down at the silent mage. Leaning down so that his ear was just above Fai's mouth, Kurogane gave a choked sob of joy as he heard the wizard breathing.

"Damn you, Ashura…you'll pay for this!" He roared, getting ready to avenge Fai. Only Syaoran's hand, which seemed to appear out of nowhere to land on his shoulder, stopped him.

"No, Kurogane-san! We have to skip worlds, and get Fai-san treated in the next one! If we stay here, all that will happen is that Ashura will defeat us!" He whispered urgently.

Kurogane didn't reply, but Syaoran knew that the ninja had heard and understood. Grabbing Sakura by the hand, he pulled her close to their group, and turned to Mokona.

"_Now_, Mokona!"

Watching from the roof, Ashura frowned as he realised what they were doing, and began to summon another blast of power.

"No! Fai belongs to me!" He hissed, throwing the attack down at the group below.

And cursed as they vanished from that world, leaving the attack to impact harmlessly with the ground.

* * *

**Sorry for the late update, everybody! I've had a lot of things on, so I apologise for how long it took to write this! Please do the usual, and read and review! Thanks!**


	5. Memories Sleeping

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Chapter Five; Memories Sleeping**

"Will he be ok?" Syaoran asked in concern, gazing seriously at the doctor as he packed away his things. The other man turned to face him, brow furrowed, and lips pursed in what could only be described as an unsure expression.

"In all my years as a doctor, I can honestly say that I've never seen anything like it. Landing with such force as the injury on his head suggests…by all rights, this man should be dead by now." He murmured, glancing down at his new patient.

"Never mind that! _Will_ he be ok!" Kurogane snarled angrily, not caring how strange it was that Fai had managed to survive – the point was, he _had_. It was the _future_ that was unclear right now.

"I'm afraid that I can't say one way or the other. Surviving such an accident…it makes me hopeful of a full recovery eventually." The doctor said slowly. Syaoran gritted his teeth in sorrow as he heard the unspoken 'but' in the doctor's words…the physician was clearly trying to cushion the blow of his next words.

"However, head trauma, especially in cases like these, is never good. Some people suffer from side effects once awake, such as migraines or memory loss. Some even lose some mobility in their limbs, depending on whether their motor functions remained undamaged."

"Fai-san…" Sakura whispered miserably. The doctor sighed uneasily, shooting a wary glance at the already tense man in black.

"And…" He began softly.

"And?" Kurogane looked up, a sick feeling in his stomach at the tone of the doctor's voice.

"It could be that your friend…won't wake up at all. Although he is alive and breathing, it may be that the impact on his skull caused too much damage. He may remain in a coma forever."

Sakura let out a small sob, covering her mouth with a hand, and Syaoran gently pulled her into his arms, his own brown eyes wide in disbelief and horror. Next to them, Mokona visibly deflated, his small form slumping as his ears drooped down by his sides.

"No…damnit, _no_!" Kurogane hissed, turning to look down at the still form of his lover. Fai lay there, unmoving and pale as the snow from the world he'd escaped from. For once, his face was devoid of expression, and Kurogane bit his lip before softly moving a strand of blonde hair from the unconscious mage's eye.

Grabbing Fai's hand and holding it tight between his own, Kurogane stared fiercely down at the silent figure on the bed, willing the wizard to wake up.

"He'll wake up…I know he will. Fai would never let himself turn into a vegetable like that…he _will_ wake up…" He muttered hoarsely to himself, rocking back and forth on his heels as he crouched at his boyfriend's side.

Smiling sadly, the doctor picked up his bag and made for the exit of their lodgings.

"I wish that I was as confident as you, sir. Good day to you." And with that he was gone, leaving a silent house of mourning behind him.

* * *

Hours passed and night fell, but still Kurogane never left Fai's side. Holding onto the mage's hand, he had been praying for the wizard to tighten his grip, to twitch, _anything_…but so far Fai had just lain there, unresponsive.

Kurogane seriously hoped that the Seresuan would wake up soon. Although the kid and princess had put their quest for the feathers on hold, more than happy to allow Fai to rest in a world with no feather present, Kurogane knew that they couldn't stay there indefinitely. Even if there had been no risk of the feathers being used for evil purposes, there was always the danger of Ashura following them into this world.

A short call to Yuuko had reassured the group that it would be unlikely that Ashura would be able to follow for at least a good week, possibly even longer. And even then, the king would have to rest up for a while after the journey. The only thing allowing him to skip dimensions socarelessly before had been the feather, and since he no longer had it, they could afford to take a breather.

_>But still…we can't stay here forever. And every day that you lie asleep will lessen your chance of waking up. Asleep. I can't even admit to myself that you're in a coma.>_ Kurogane thought bitterly.

Bringing Fai's hand to his mouth, Kurogane pressed his lips against the cold flesh, silently begging the gods to heal his injured comrade. _>Wake up Fai…please.>

* * *

As one man knelt praying for his love's health to be restored, another lay comatose, lost in a flood of memories from times gone by. As he lay dreaming, a single tear welled up beneath his closed eyelid, before spilling down his cheek in a silvery stream._

Somewhere deep inside he knew that there were people desperate for him to wake up. But for some reason, he couldn't find the strength to do so – it felt like something was forcing him to remain in the darkness. And that terrified him.

But his flash of wakening knowledge quickly faded away, leaving only the memories, and sending him deeper into the unconsciousness that was his prison. And he remembered…

* * *

_Flashback_

Partially hidden by the shadows of the alley, a small boy dug through the pile of thrown out food that he'd found there. Catching his hand on a rusty nail hidden underneath a slice of bread, the boy winced and looked down at the small trickle of blood that was escaping from his wound.

Almost immediately, the skin surrounding the injury began to tingle, and the boy watched in fascination as the cut began to close up, until his hand was pale and flawless once again. No matter how many times he watched himself heal, it never failed to amaze him how quickly it happened.

Beginning to dig through the leftovers once again, the boy froze as he heard footsteps growing closer, and retreated back into the shadows until he was completely hidden from sight. There, he waited warily for the new arrival to come into view, prepared to launch a surprise attack if it turned out to be one of the rival street urchins after the food.

To his astonishment, it was not another waif who ran round the corner and leaned against the wall, panting. Instead, it was a boy who was wearing cream silken robes, with five delicate pink jewels stuck to his forehead. The street urchin gaped at the rich costume, knowing that he would never be able to even touch an outfit like that, let alone wear one.

Feeling suddenly self-conscious in his own tattered tunic, the urchin tried to pull back further into the darkness, but instead bumped into the wall, knocking over a stack of glass bottles that had been balanced there.

The other boy instantly whipped his head around, long dark hair whirling to frame his face as he stared wide eyed at the shadows at the end of the alley.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" He demanded, voice clearly trembling in slight fear. There was the faint sound of a gasp from the darkness, then the shadows shifted as a figure slowly got up and moved into the light.

The dark haired boy gazed silently at the urchin, eyes taking in every little detail about the other child. So, what he had first thought was a threat had turned out to be nothing more than a street urchin who appeared to be around his own age.

He frowned as he realised the condition that the other was in. Wearing a dusty ragged tunic, the urchin's hands and face were smeared with dirt, and had hair that looked like it would have been blonde if it hadn't been covered in so much filth. The urchin's head was bowed, clearly showing how ashamed he was to be seen in this condition by someone so much better off.

"I apologise for disturbing you, sir. I didn't mean to knock those bottles over." The urchin murmured, still not looking up. The dark haired boy bit his lip and strode over, before using a perfectly manicured hand to lift the urchin's grubby head, gently forcing him to look him in the face.

"Why should you apologise? By all rights, I shouldn't even be here." He said, his breath catching at the sight of the urchin's eyes. A beautiful shining blue, they contrasted wonderfully with the overall dirtiness of the urchin's face, making them seem even more piercing than they would have been anyway.

"What's your name, anyway?" The dark haired boy inquired, removing his hand from the other's chin and smiling as the urchin didn't bow his head again.

"Fai, sir." The urchin whispered.

"Fai…?"

"Fai D. Flowright."

"That's a long name." The dark haired boy commented, grinning. The urchin blushed, and shrugged his shoulders.

"Everyone just calls me Fai, sir." He explained. The other youngster frowned, and put his hands on his hips.

"You don't have to call me sir, you know. I'm no older than you are!" He exclaimed. Fai blinked, flushing a deep red.

"But you're of a much higher status than me, s…" He said in confusion. The other boy sighed in exasperation, and shook his head.

"I don't care about that! Being called sir makes me feel like an old man."

"Then what _should_ I call you?" Fai asked. The other boy tossed his long hair over his shoulder, and beamed at him.

"Just call me Ashura!"

Fai gasped loudly and stumbled backwards, before dropping into a deep bow.

"Ashura-sama! Your highness, I didn't realise…" He babbled in shock. Ashura shook his head and moved forwards to take Fai's chin in his hand again, making the blonde stand up straight.

"I told you, just call me Ashura. _Ashura_. Not sir, not Ashura-sama, just Ashura. It doesn't matter if I'm of a higher status than you, I'm just a kid." He murmured. Fai stared at him with wide eyes, trembling slightly at being so close to royalty. For someone who was used to hiding in the shadows when well off people came along, being so near to someone so important was nerve wracking.

"You don't have to be so respectful towards me, as…whoa!" Ashura had stepped backwards to try and give the shaking boy some space, but had found himself tripping over one of the fallen bottles. Giving a small squeak of surprise, he landed on the floor.

And then he heard what had to be the most beautiful sound in the world.

Fai had tried to stifle a laugh at the way Ashura had fallen, but had been unable to do so. The laughter had simply bubbled out of him, growing stronger and stronger until he was holding his stomach and leaning against the wall, tears of mirth spilling down his cheeks.

Part way through, he realised exactly who it was that he was laughing at, but to his surprise, he found Ashura smiling at him as he looked down at the fallen prince. The dark haired boy held up a hand, and Fai took it, pulling the other to his feet.

"That's better!" Ashura announced, brushing the dirt off his robes. Fai stared at the young prince, not quite knowing what to think. The future ruler of Seresu was standing right there in front of him, and yet the other boy seemed to be so laid back and relaxed…he was treating Fai like an _equal_.

"And to think that all I had to do to make you laugh was fall over! Maybe I should do it more often!" Ashura chuckled. Fai's head shot up.

"No, Ashura-sa…Ashura. You'll be hurt if you do that!" He exclaimed. Ashura's smile widened.

"I like you. You're nice. Do you want to play with me whilst Father's talking to the mayor?" He asked. Fai hung back, unsure of what to do. Ashura seemed so friendly, there was nothing more he wanted to do than play with him. But he was so _filthy_…he'd be ashamed to let Ashura touch him anymore.

"I...I want to, Ashura, but I'm horribly dirty. I wouldn't want you to get in trouble with your father for going home in such a bad condition." He said honestly. Ashura frowned. 

"But Fai, I'm already in trouble, so it doesn't matter anyway!" He pleaded. Fai's mouth quirked up, and he raised an eyebrow at the prince.

"You're not meant to be wandering round town, are you? You just got bored and ran off because your father was taking a long time, and you wanted to have an adventure, right?" Fai guessed.

At Ashura's taken aback expression, Fai let out another laugh.

"For some reason, my intuition has always been better than everyone else's. It's sort of like a sixth sense." He explained. Ashura nodded in understanding, and took his hand, pulling him out of the alley and back into the street.

"Come on Fai! I don't know how long I've got left, and I want to spend as much time with you as possible!" He called over his shoulder. Fai started at the words, then relaxed, a warm smile spreading over his face.

_>I think I actually have another…friend.>

* * *

_

"Ashura! Ashura! Where are you?" Fai's ears perked up at the sound of his new friend's name being called, and he tugged on Ashura's sleeve.

"Ashura! Ashura! Someone's calling you!" He whispered loudly. Ashura stopped what he was doing and paused to listen, grinning softly as he recognised the voice.

"It's Father! He must have finished talking to the mayor!" He exclaimed, pushing through a hole in the hedge and running out into the street.

"Father! I'm here!" He called. A man just as richly dressed as he was, with matching long dark hair spilling down his back turned at Ashura's voice, and made his way over, smiling admonishingly.

"Ashura, you know you're not meant to go wondering off down here, let alone without telling someone where you're going." He chided gently. Ashura just shrugged, smiling.

"But if I hadn't, I wouldn't have met Fai!" He giggled.

The king raised an eyebrow.

"Fai? Who's that?" He questioned. Ashura glanced around, then frowned as he realised that his blonde friend had not followed him out.

"Hang on, Father, he must still be in the public gardens. I'll go and get him."

Ashura ran back into the village garden, and hurried over to where Fai was sitting alone. Grabbing his friend's wrist in a gently yet firm grip, he began to tug Fai along after him out of the garden.

"Come on Fai! Father wants to know who you are!"

Fai stiffened and began to tug at his hand, trying to get loose.

"Ashura, I'm a street urchin! The king doesn't want to have to look at someone as ill bred as me!" He pleaded. Ashura, however, kept his grip firm, and dragged his friend mercilessly out into the road and across to his father.

"Here he is, Father! This is Fai!" He announced. The king raked his eyes over his son's new friend, taking in the ragged clothing and filthy face. Fai kept his head bowed, too ashamed to even look at Ashura's father.

Silently, the king strode over to the urchin, keeping his steps slow and deliberate. Fai waited for the inevitable blow that surely was to come, the accusations that someone like him shouldn't have been with the prince in the first place.

Instead, the king crouched down in front of him until he was eye level with the blonde, and smiled softly at him.

"Thankyou, young man, for taking care of Ashura for me. He can be quite a handful, and to be honest I'm glad he had someone to keep an eye on him whilst he was exploring." The king murmured.

Fai gasped, blinking uncomprehendingly at the monarch, his mouth moving silently in the effort to find something to say. Ashura laughed at his expression.

"See, Fai, you had nothing to worry about! Father's not like some of our ancestors were – he has a much more open mind when it comes to people who aren't royalty or aristocrats!"

The king smiled gently at his son's comment and nodded.

"That's right, Fai. You thought I would be angry at a commoner playing with my son, didn't you? Well, the truth is I'm very happy that you two are friends. Ashura normally has to spend his time up in the castle playing with the noble's children, and they're far too selfish for my tastes. So I'm glad that Ashura was able to have fun with someone like you."

Fai flushed a deep red, totally embarrassed by the king's complimentary words. Chuckling, the king reached forward and ruffled his hair, before standing up.

"We have to go now, but I hope that my son will be able to play with you again if we come down into the town another time. Come on, Ashura." The prince nodded, and gave Fai a quick hug before running after his father.

"I'll see you around, Fai! I had a lot of fun today!" He called.

Fai stood watching him for a moment, before allowing a wide grin to appear on his face.

"So did I, Ashura. So did I…"

* * *

_New Flashback_

"Fai! Fai!" Fai paused in the middle of searching through a thrown out bag of old clothing, certain that he had heard someone calling his name.

"Fai!" There it was again! And it sounded very much like…

"Fai! I've found you!" The next thing he knew, Fai was flattened as a dark haired thing leapt on him, laughing as they tumbled to the ground.

"A…Ashura? What are you doing here?" Fai choked out, still not quite over the shock of seeing his friend again.

"You make it sound as if you don't want me to be here! It's been three weeks! Haven't you missed me at all? I've missed you!" Ashura exclaimed in indignation. Fai smiled.

"Of course I missed you. But what are you doing here?" He frowned as an idea crossed his mind.

"You didn't sneak out without permission, did you?" He asked suspiciously. Laughing, Ashura shook his head and finally got off Fai, allowing the other boy to climb to his feet.

"Nope! Father's here talking to the mayor again, so he said it was alright if I came to look for you!" Ashura explained, practically bouncing up and down in his excitement.

"Again? Are they good friends or something?" Fai guessed. Ashura shook his head.

"Nope. Mahouda was able to foresee that the next High Wizard will be found in this town." Ashura explained.

"High Wizard? What's that?" Fai inquired, gazing at his friend in confusion. Seeing how curious his friend was, Ashura decided to take the time to give a proper description of the job.

"The High Wizard is the person who has the most magic in the kingdom, so they're usually even stronger than the ruling monarch – by the way we have magic too. I forgot to tell you that." Ashura began.

Fai simply nodded. From the moment he'd seen the prince he'd sensed the flow of magic in his veins, but had refrained from saying so in case he scared the other boy – a lot of people found Fai's uncanny knack for sensing certain things unnerving.

"Anyway, the High Wizard has many jobs. In case of war, he or she is the kingdom's main weapon, devoted to defending both the royal family and the commoners. They supervise the minor wizards who work in the palace, and are normally called to serve as the healer for the royal family as well. On top of that, they often act as advisors for the family as well. Understand?" Ashura finished.

Fai nodded again, mind replaying all the information he had been given.

"So…I guess having the next High Wizard in your town would be a big thing for a mayor." He said slowly. Ashura shrugged, concentrating on fixing one of his jewels back into proper position on his forehead.

"Most mayors see it like that, yes. And since the High Wizard is only replaced when he dies, it means that only one person per generation will receive the job – so everyone wants that person to be them. Mahouda is pretty old, so he decided that it would be for the best if he found the next High Wizard now, and trained him before he died."

"So who would you want as the next High Wizard? After all, they would probably be serving under you, wouldn't they?" Fai asked softly. Ashura nodded, absentmindedly combing his long hair with his fingers.

"Yeah…and I don't know what I'd want them to be like. I'm kinda not allowing myself to think about it, as it will be the strongest person selected, not the person I want. I just hope that I'll be able to get on with them alright."

Fai smiled, and fondly ruffled the hair of his royal friend, purposely messing it up after all Ashura's careful preening of himself.

"Don't worry, I'm sure that you'll be able to be friends with them. After all, everyone loves _you_, Ashura!" He chirped.

"Hey, mind the hair!" Ashura yelped, although he was blushing from Fai's previous comment. Taking Fai's hand, he stared into his friend's shining cerulean eyes.

"Fai, what were you doing when I found you? It looked like you were trying to decide if there was anything worth having from that bag."

Fai flushed, and pulled his hand away from Ashura, bowing his head in shame.

"I was. The only way to get new clothes is to look through the things people throw out. The same goes for food and other stuff too." He admitted.

"Oh…" Ashura murmured, frowning. He hadn't realised how bad things were for Fai.

"Couldn't you sell that necklace you wear? You would have enough money to keep you fed and clothed for ages if you did – it looks like it's made out of silver!" Ashura commented, staring at the small silvery glint of a chain he could see hidden underneath Fai's clothes.

Fai stiffened, his right hand coming up to clasp at the piece of jewellery as he violently shook his head.

"No! I could never do that!" He exclaimed.

Ashura backed up slightly, worried at how distraught Fai had just become.

"Ok, ok! I'm sorry…I didn't realise it was so special to you, that's all." He soothed. Fai smiled sadly, and pulled the necklace into full view, allowing Ashura to see the decoration hanging off the chain.

Ashura gasped.

"Fai…what's it made of? It's beautiful…" He whispered.

"It's a small crystal my father made…he used to experiment with various substances he found whilst at work – he used to be a jeweller." Fai explained, cradling the necklace to him.

"You can't sell it because it's all you have left of your parents, right?" Ashura realised. Fai nodded, blue eyes filling with tears.

"It's not actually worth anything – the chain isn't really silver, it just looks like it is. But I can't give it up anyway, not for anything."

"I'm sorry, Fai. I didn't mean to make you cry. Let's go play, alright?" Ashura suggested. Fai nodded, slowly slipping his necklace back under the collar of his tunic.

"Ok, Ashura. And…thanks."

_End Flashback

* * *

_

Trapped in dreams of happier times, Fai slipped even deeper into his unconscious state, unknowingly fading further away from the world he belonged in. Beside him, Kurogane lay sleeping, his face serene as he dreamt of Fai being awake again..

Unaware of the fact that his loved one was slipping further and further away from him with each passing hour.

* * *

**Another update! Please do the usual and read and review! Coming up next...will Fai wake up?**


	6. Memories Sleeping II

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Chapter Six; Memories Sleeping II**

"Oh wow…you look great, Fai!" Ashura crowed, clapping his hands. Fai flushed a deep red, fidgeting and pulling at his new clothes.

"Ashura…I can't accept this. It's too much…" He protested. Ashura frowned, putting his hands on his hips.

"Of course you can accept it! It's only new clothes!" He said hotly.

"But Ashura…these are what the nobility wear!" Fai pleaded. Ashura laughed, embraced his friend.

"Well, you're nobility in my opinion, so these clothes are perfect for you!" He stated.

Fai blushed even more, and glanced at his reflection warily. When Ashura had first appeared this morning, carrying a bag over his shoulder, Fai hadn't questioned it. But when Ashura had dragged him to the mayor's house, and handed him over to the servants, he'd been more than a little confused.

His unspoken questions had been answered soon enough though, as before he could even react, he had been undressed, and given a thorough scrubbing. By the time they had finished, his skin had been free of grime once more, and his original hair colour had surfaced from underneath the dirt, prompting several comments about its nice blonde colour.

But Ashura hadn't been finished. The moment Fai had dried himself off, he'd been swarmed by excited maids chattering about how nice his new outfit would make him look. And when they'd pulled away…he'd been unable to recognise himself.

The outfit that Ashura had given him had been breathtaking. Dark blue robes covered in delicate silver designs had brought out the sapphire of his eyes, and made his blonde hair appear even more golden than it already was. Coupled with the white silk belt, the outfit had made Fai speechless.

"But…" He tried again. His protest was cut off as Ashura clapped his hand over the blonde's mouth.

"Enough! Come on, Fai…I just couldn't stand the thought of you scavenging!" He begged. Fai sighed, and relaxed himself, showing Ashura that the fight was over.

When the other boy removed his hand, Fai smiled softly, and looked at his friend perkily.

"Wheet whoo! Ashura sure is nice!" He laughed. Ashura blinked.

"Wheet…whoo?"

"Wheet whoo! I can't whistle, so I make the sound instead!" Fai explained. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but the fact that Ashura had cared enough about him to give him these clothes had certainly put him in a good mood.

"Oh! What about…"

"Ashura!" Ashura's father poked his head round the door, smiling as he interrupted his son.

"I thought you said you were going to get Fai to show you more of the town, hmm?" He gently reminded him. Ashura rubbed the back of his neck, smiling apologetically at the obvious request for the two boys to leave the adults in peace.

"Sorry, Dad. We'll get out of your way. Come on Fai!"

* * *

A group of rough looking men stood in the shadows, watching silently as Ashura ran out of the mayor's house, dragging Fai after him.

"So we all agree then. We put the plan into action now."

"What about the other boy? The noble?" One of the men said worriedly. The man who had spoken first rolled his eyes.

"Fool. That's just Fai – the little prince has taken a shine to him. He won't cause us any trouble." He sniggered.

"But won't he tell everyone?"

"Of course he will, but no one will believe him. After all, who's going to believe that a street urchin is innocent if he has a dead prince at his feet? Fai will be the perfect scapegoat."

* * *

"Ashura! Where are you taking me? You don't even know your way around here very well yet!" Fai protested as Ashura continued to drag him through the streets. Almost immediately, Ashura screeched to a halt, causing Fai to bump into him.

"Oof! Sorry, Ashura…" He murmured. Ashura turned round, shaking his head and smiling at Fai's apology.

"Silly, I told you to stop saying sorry for things that weren't your fault! It was mine, because I sto-mmmmphh!"

Ashura was cut off as a dirty hand suddenly clapped itself over his mouth, dragging him back into the shadows of an alley he was standing at the entrance of.

"Ashura!" Fai squeaked.

Scurrying into the alley after his friend, Fai gasped as he took in the scene before him. Ashura was trapped against a wall, looking terrified as 6 men advanced on him.

"St…stop it! I'm the king's son, and I'll have you clapped in irons!" Ashura threatened weakly, eyes darting around in search of an escape. Seeing Fai standing there, his eyes widened, and he shook his head frantically.

"No! Fai, don't do anything! Just get out of here, and fetch Father! F…ahhh!"

Ashura's head snapped back from the force of the blow given to him by one of the men, and Fai cried out in shock, beginning to retreat in order to do what Ashura had asked.

To his horror, he bumped into a muscular body, and he yelped as the man who had snuck round behind him grabbed him, tightening his grip until it was painful.

"Oh no you don't, Fai. You're not going anywhere. You're just going to stay here, and watch like a good little boy." The man hissed in his ear.

Fai stiffened at the familiar voice, and tilted his head to the side, whimpering as he saw who it was.

"Otooji?" 

Ashura stared as Fai called the man 'uncle'. He'd thought Fai had no family…that that had been why he'd been forced to fend for himself on the street…

"Yes, my little nephew…Uncle Senichi's here now. So just be a good boy and stay quiet, ok? You don't want to mess up Uncle's plan, do you?" The man smiled.

Fai gulped, beginning to gnaw on his lip as he realised just what his uncle was asking of him. What should he do? Yell for help and save Ashura? Or listen to his uncle, the only surviving member of his family left?

"Fai!" Ashura gasped, only to groan as he was hit again. Glaring at the offender, he twisted his face into a sneering expression of contempt.

"Do you really think that you can just kill me, and do away with the heir to the throne like this! Don't you know that all the members of my family are skilled at magic?"

Senichi smirked back, his grip relaxing round Fai as he felt the young boy stop struggling.

"Yes, but you're not fully trained yet, are you? And you're no match for 6 people…let alone 7, if I decide to join in." He said lazily.

Ashura's eyes widened as the 6 men surrounding him summoned balls of power into their hands, and he began to struggle, the air crackling round him as he tried to summon up magic strong enough to defeat all of them at once.

"With you gone, the king will have no heir…he will be forced to adopt…and any commoner he chooses will easily be controlled by us! Goodbye Ashura-ouji!" Senichi laughed.

At his uncle's words, Fai turned pale, and he began to shake with rage. Blonde hair rising as if stirred by an invisible wind, and blue eyes shining with raw power, he let out an angry cry, his uncle letting go of him with a curse as a shock of magic shot up his arms.

The men advancing on Ashura turned at their leader's outburst, and Ashura stared in disbelief as he was finally able to see what had caused by the disturbance.

"Fai! You have magic...?"

Fai simply stretched out a hand, tendrils of blue electricity flying forth to strike at Ashura's attackers, sending them crashing into the end of the alley. Turning almost serenely, he pointed towards his uncle, a faint smile appearing on his lips.

"I cannot allow you to kill Ashura, Otooji. He's my friend, and has treated me far better than you ever have. You just threw me out on the streets after my parents' death to fend for myself, making the excuse that you were too poor to feed me. But I knew…I knew all along that you were the richest man in town apart from the mayor! You just couldn't be bothered with me…but I knew!"

As a bolt of power shot from his finger and knocked his uncle to his feet, Fai's voice cracked, and tears began to stream down his face. Sinking to his knees, he began to sob violently, hugging himself as tried to stop crying. But just as he began to get a grip on himself, he felt a strange stirring in the pit of his stomach, and cried out as a sharp pain shot through him.

"Fai…?" Ashura whispered, reaching for him, only to jerk back as Fai suddenly yelled at him.

"No! Don't touch me! Don't come any closer!"

"Fai? What's wrong? Are you sick? Tell m…."

Ashura's dark eyes widened as a red light suddenly seemed to explode out of Fai, cutting through the air like a knife. Everything it touched became black, as if burnt, and Ashura was forced to duck as a tendril of light struck just above his head.

"Fai? Fai! What's going on!" Ashura shouted. But Fai didn't answer, and only lay there knelt there with his arms wrapped round his stomach, shrieking in agony as the light continued to shoot out of him, firing round the alleyway.

Suddenly, 6 beams jerked and changed direction, hitting the 6 men who had attacked Ashura. Jerked out of unconsciousness, they screamed at the contact, their wails dying away into silence as they stopped thrashing and lay still, their eyes open and unseeing. Ashura gasped, and scrabbled further away, heart beating rapidly as he stared at the dead bodies.

Meanwhile, Fai continued to screech, another bolt of red light shooting out of him and into his uncle, leaving yet another lifeless body lying on the ground.

The pain intensifying, Fai scratched at the ground madly, ignorant of the fact that the light was stretching towards Ashura now, not hearing his friend's panicked cries.

Then he felt a cool touch on the back of his neck, and he fell forward onto the floor, darkness overcoming him.

* * *

"Hurrgh…" Fai groaned slightly, blue eyes flickering open to focus on a beautifully domed white ceiling above him. >_Huh?>_ Quickly glancing around, Fai saw that he was in a huge, richly decorated room, and instantly began to panic as he realised that he had no clue where he was.

Pulling back the blue silk sheets, Fai had slid out of bed and was swaying dizzily when the door suddenly opened and there was a familiar gasp.

"Fai! You shouldn't get out of bed just yet! You're still weak!"

Gentle arms pushed him back onto the bed, and Fai blinked until the concerned face of Ashura came into focus.

"Ash...Ashura? What am I doing here?" He whispered, allowing his friend to ease the covers back over him.

"After you saved me, you just started screaming, and shooting red light everywhere…it hit your uncle and his friends, and they just seemed to have the life sucked out of them…it was going to hit me too, but then Mahouda and Father arrived, and Mahouda cast a sleeping spell on you."

As the memories came flooding back, Fai gave a stifled sob, burying deeper into the blankets and pulling them over his head.

"I killed them…I killed Otooji and his friends…I nearly killed _you_…" He wept, his tears falling thick and fast.

The next thing Fai knew, Ashura had crawled onto the bed with him, and had put his arms around him soothingly.

"It wasn't your fault…Mahouda said that your magic's too powerful for you to control naturally. You needed an escape outlet to save yourself, and you instinctively used those around you to do so…it wasn't your fault, Fai, and Mahouda's going to make sure that you never do it again."

Fai blinked away his tears, staring into Ashura's dark eyes.

"How?" He croaked.

"He's going to give you a magical tattoo…one of the Suzaku…" Ashura smiled.

"…Suzaku?" Fai murmured.

"It's a huge bird like a phoenix, and represents knowledge. It's power will allow you to control your gifts, so that you will be able to use magic without accidentally killing either yourself or other people." Ashura explained.

"Will it hurt?" Fai asked, causing Ashura to bite his lip and nod slowly.

"It has to be done with needles…and it will take 3 days to complete. That's 3 days of agony, Fai…" Ashura choked out.

To his surprise, Fai simply nodded, and hugged him back.

"Then I'll do it…anything's better than hurting people like this. Than hurting you…"

* * *

"Fai! How are your studies going? We hardly get to see each other anymore!" Ashura pouted, wrapping Fai in a strong grip and making the blonde wizard laugh happily.

"I'm sorry, Ashura-ouji, but my lessons are taking up most of my time! It's not easy learning how to be a High Wizard!" Fai giggled.

Four years had passed since the events in the alleyway, but for Fai every single moment still stood out clearly in his mind. Mahouda had come to him 5 days after the incident, and he had begun to tattoo Fai's back with the intricate phoenix design, carefully protecting Fai from the magic that he held deep within himself.

It had felt like his back was on fire, and he had screamed into the pillow for almost the whole 3 days…but Ashura had never left his side, holding his hand and whispering comforting words into his ear. Without Ashura, Fai was sure that he would have gone mad from the pain, despite Mahouda's caution.

After he had recovered, he had been told to his shock that he was to be the next High Wizard. Apparently, his magic was the strongest in all of Seresu…it was him who Mahouda had had visions of.

From then on, he had been Fai the street urchin no more. He had been Fai the High-Wizard-In-Waiting, living in the lap of luxury inside the palace. Of course, there had been one or two sacrifices…namely his close friendship with Ashura.

Not that they weren't friends anymore…far from it. They simply didn't get much time together, what with all of Fai's studies and Ashura's lessons on being a good monarch. The only other thing that had changed was that Fai now had to call Ashura 'Ashura-ouji', since it would be seen as unseemly for him to address Ashura so casually around the palace.

But this was one of the few precious moments he had managed to get with the prince lately, and it was enough to make Fai grin widely, acting like he had years ago, when he'd first played with Ashura.

"Well, that's no reason to be avoiding me!" Ashura playfully chided, his dark hair swishing elegantly around him as he shook his head at Fai. Although both boys were 14 now, neither had seemed to mature at all…at least, not when it came to how they acted around the other.

"But Ashura-ouji, Mahouda-sensei's really strict! He keeps me busy!" Fai whined comically. Although, he couldn't help the blush that was staining his cheeks – it seemed that every time he saw Ashura lately, he got side tracked by the other boy's handsome features, and would end up blushing like a school girl. He just couldn't understand it.

"But, Fai-koi, I get jealous when you're with other people!" Ashura whined back. Fai snickered.

"You get jealous! Of what, my…." His voice trailed away suddenly, and he gasped as what Ashura had said suddenly clicked in his mind. >_Fai-koi?>_

"I was fed up with giving you hints, Fai, so I just had to say it outright. You're so naïve sometimes…you were completely missing all those clues I left you!" Ashura laughed, gently tucking a strand of blonde hair behind Fai's ear.

"Ash…Ashura-ouji?" Fai breathed.

"I love you Fai…I want you to be mine forever." Ashura whispered softly, before leaning in to capture Fai's rosebud lips in a gentle kiss. Fai gladly relaxed into it, before pulling away, his heart beating wildly.

"Yes. Forever yours." He promised, before kissing Ashura again.

_End Flashback

* * *

_

Dozing by Fai's side, Kurogane jerked awake as he felt Fai's hand twitch, the pale fingers grasping Kurogane's own. Crimson eyes wide, Kurogane stared down at the body of his lover, praying that the twitch had meant what he hoped it did.

As if in answer to his prayers, Fai gave a small moan, head rolling to the side as his face contorted into a grimace of pain. Watching with bated breath, Kurogane tightened his own grip on Fai's hand as those beautiful blue eyes fluttered open, and he smiled reassuringly as Fai opened his mouth to say something. But the name that Fai said so lovingly fell on frozen ears, and Kurogane felt his heart shatter as Fai whispered;

"Ashura?"

* * *

* * *

**_Oh oh! What's Kurogane going to do now? Anyway, sorry for the late review...I wasn't quite sure how to write the fight in the alley, so I got a little stuck for a while there!_**

_**Please do the usual and read and review!**_


	7. A Crystal For A Sword

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Chapter Seven; A Crystal For A Sword**

"Ashura?"

The moment that the words had passed his lips, Fai realised his mistake. It was not the Ashura from the past sitting next to him…it was Kurogane, the brave ninja who he had fallen in love with on sight, the man that had saved him countless times and yet never expected anything in return.

The one who had obviously never left his side since the incident with Ashura.

Said ninja was now looking vaguely murderous, and Fai realised how much it must have hurt to have him say Ashura's name like that…and in such a loving tone, no less.

"K…Kuro-muu…" He began, his soft voice hesitant and apologetic. But Kurogane simply snorted, getting to his feet and glaring down at the blonde.

"You know, it's been 3 days since Ashura blasted you off the roof. _3 days_, Fai! Because of him, you've been in a coma for _3 days_! And the very first thing you say when you wake is his name…but not in fear, or hatred…because I would have understood that."

Kurogane paused, his solemn expression letting Fai know just how wretched the ninja was feeling right now.

"But you said it lovingly, Fai…as though he was your whole world, and that was how you wanted it. As if I didn't exist to you." He said bitterly.

Fai's blue eyes widened, and he shot up into a sitting position, ignoring the stab of pain that crashed through his head. Grabbing hold of the Kurogane's shirt, Fai buried his face in the dark fabric, tightening his grip almost desperately, feeling as though Kurogane would just slip away if he let go.

"No! You _do_ exist to me, you do! I love you Kuro-san, and I always will! I've always loved you, ever since I met you! I…" His words were cut off as Kurogane gently pushed him away, and Fai stared tearfully up at the ninja, feeling his heart throb painfully at the blank expression on Kurogane's face.

"Why don't we stop lying to each other, hmm? We were never right for each other. I'm just one of Tomoyo-hime's protectors, and you're just this shattered shell that's still hung up on the one who broke you. What were we thinking when we got together?"

Although Kurogane's voice was flat and unemotional, it somehow made the words even harder for Fai to listen to, and he found himself covering his ears, crying out for Kurogane to stop, to just stop saying such things.

"…And you know what, Fai? I might say you're an idiot sometimes, but when it comes down to it, I'm just as much an idiot as you are, right? After all, I managed to fool myself into thinking that a puppet could love one other than his master."

And with those final words, Kurogane was gone, striding quickly from the room, leaving Fai alone and in shock. Then, Fai was crying, his head buried in his arms and his whole body shaking with the force of his sobs as he realised what Kurogane had been saying.

_>It's over…I screwed up the one good thing that's come into my life since I left Ashura back in Seresu…I lost the only reason why I even had the strength to carry on…I ruined everything, and it's all my fault!>

* * *

_

"Fai-san?" Fai looked up at the sound of his name being called, red rimmed eyes searching for the owner of the gentle voice that had sounded so concerned.

"Sakura-chan…did you want something?" He asked, pasting a wan smile across his face in an attempt to hide his pain like he always had. To his relief, the princess didn't seem to realise…only Kurogane had ever truly seen behind his mask of lies and loneliness.

"Fai-san! You're awake! Kurogane-san told us you were!" Sakura chirped excitedly, running across the floor to throw her arms around the blonde's neck.

"Kuro-muu? What…what did he say?" Fai asked, half-afraid of the answer. Sakura pulled back, scrunching her face up as she thought.

"He just said that you had finally woken up…he didn't seem very happy though…and your eyes are all red, Fai-san. Did you have a fight?" She murmured, green eyes staring soulfully into Fai's own blue ones.

Fai opened his mouth to make a carefree comment, something to just brush off the question…only to find to his horror that he was beginning to cry, his breath hitching as he struggled valiantly to reign himself in.

"Fai-san! Fai-san, what's wrong?" Sakura pleaded, embracing him tightly as he began to sob in earnest, unable to take the painful storm that was whirling around inside of him.

Eventually, the bout of emotion had passed, and Fai simply sat there, feeling drained and tired. But Sakura kept her arms around the older man and laid her head on his shoulder, refusing to leave him even then.

"Fai-san?" She prompted.

"I've ruined everything, Sakura-chan. Kuro-min will never forgive me." He whispered sadly, wrapping his own long arms around her shoulders.

"Why? What happened?"

"When I woke, I called out Ashura-ou's name… not in fear, or anger, but lovingly. And Kurogane broke up with me." Fai explained, feeling his chest constrict as he spoke the painful words.

"…Lovingly? But Fai-san loves Kurogane-san, right? I don't think I quite understand." Sakura replied, brow furrowing slightly as she tried to make sense of what Fai was saying.

"I do love Kuro-rin…but I love Ashura-ou too, no matter how he treated me in the end. I just can't forget how warm he was to me in the beginning." Fai said quietly.

"But Fai-san…you can't love two people at the same time…it's impossible." Sakura told him firmly.

"Then why do I feel this way about both of them? If it's impossible to love 2 people, why are my emotions so mixed up?"

"Because it's not impossible to love more than one person at the same time…but it is impossible to love both of them equally. You must love one of them more than the other, even if you don't realise it. And sooner or later, you will have to choose."

Fai sat back at Sakura's words, blinking as he thought about what she had just said. >_Is that really true? Do I really care for one more than the other? But…which one? I don't know!>

* * *

_

Hours later, and Fai sat alone on his bed, head bowed in thought. Sakura had left him long ago, saying that she was going shopping for supplies with Syaoran. The boy had come in to check on the wizard before they'd left, but Fai had simply waved him away, grinning widely at the look of concern on the teen's face.

Syaoran had then told him how worried they'd been that he would have suffered from brain damage or memory loss once awake, but had had to leave before Fai could ask him anything about Kurogane. However, his unasked question about the ninja's whereabouts had quickly been answered afterwards as he heard someone stomping out of the door not long after they had left, slamming the door angrily behind him.

_>He didn't even tell me he was going out…he hates me now. Even more than when we first met. He can't even acknowledge me without feeling sick to his stomach.>_ Fai recognised, ignoring the lone tear that managed to escape his eye.

"Fai! Why are you sitting here on your own?" Fai's head shot up and he rubbed furiously at his eyes as Mokona bounced into the room. He'd thought that the white creature had gone with Syaoran and Sakura…he'd had no idea that Mokona had stayed behind. But being alone with Mokona gave him an idea.

"Mokona, you can talk to Yuuko, right? And we can talk to her through you?" He asked carefully, his mind beginning to race as he thought about the possibilities.

"Uh huh! Why?" Mokona replied, giggling.

"I need to speak to her, Mokona. Now, before Kurogane and the others come back." Fai said urgently, gazing pleadingly down at the small creature. To his relief, Mokona simply nodded, producing the beam of light that was to form a portal between the worlds.

Inside the light, Yuuko turned to face them, the corner of her mouth lifting as she saw who it was.

"Ah, Mokona…and Fai-san. What can I do for you?" She asked briskly. Fai shrugged, nervously picking at his clothes.

"A price once paid cannot be returned, ne?" He began.

"That is correct."

"But what if it is traded for something of similar value?" Fai finished, gazing uncertainly up at the Dimensional Witch. She paused, appearing to think, before smiling silkily at him.

"I don't see anything wrong with that. I assume that it is your tattoo that you want back? Or is it your staff?"

"Neither. The thing that I want is…Ginryuu." Fai breathed. Yuuko raised an elegant eyebrow at the request, but merely shrugged as if to say that it wasn't any of her concern anyway.

"Very well. What is it that you intend to exchange for the ninja's precious weapon?" She asked. Fai's expression became pained, and he slowly reached beneath the folds of his clothing to pull out a silver chain with a small crystal hanging from it.

"Will this do? It is the most precious item I have left." He murmured in a choked voice, although he tried to mask it with yet another carefree expression…even though he was sure that the witch easily saw past his façade.

"I think that that will do very well. Send it through Mokona, and I will return the Silver Dragon." Fai nodded, and unfastened the necklace from around his neck, carefully throwing it into Mokona's wide open mouth. Almost as soon as he had done this, there was a faint whistling noise, and Ginryuu flew out, landing neatly in his arms.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you." Yuuko said, before vanishing as the light from Mokona faded away. Fai made no reply, simply gazing down at the sword that lay cradled in his arms. A sword that had been so precious to the ninja he loved so much.

_>Oh Kami-sama, please let this work.>

* * *

_

Kurogane sighed as entered the dark house, feeling none the better for his walk. Despite himself, he hadn't been able to get the way Fai had whispered Ashura's name out of his head…or the way that the blonde mage had covered his eyes and wept pitifully, begging for Kurogane to stop, to not say those things, to stay with him.

"…_And you know what, Fai? I might say you're an idiot sometimes, but when it comes down to it, I'm just as much an idiot as you are, right? After all, I managed to fool myself into thinking that a puppet could love one other than his master."_

Growling, Kurogane buried his head in a hand, trying to block out the memory of what he had said so coldly to Fai…and the loud sobs he had heard coming from the room as he left. >_I never wanted to make him cry again…but I always do…what was I meant to do? Stay with someone who doesn't really love me? I'm a ninja, damnit, and if I do end up opening my heart to someone, it has to be worthwhile me doing it!>_

'…_Maybe it was worthwhile anyway…'_

Kurogane blinked as the thought occurred to him, unsure of how to react to the idea. Then, muttering angrily to himself, he pushed the notion to the back of his head, stomping into his and Fai's shared room.

The first thing that he noticed was that Fai had pushed the room's two beds apart again. On reaching this world, Kurogane had moved them together to create one huge bed for them to share, wanting to sleep beside Fai. He hadn't even thought of what would happen if the two of them broke up…but coming home now, he had been worried, not knowing what he'd do if he'd had to share a bed with Fai under this conditions.

But luckily, Fai had realised this, and moved the beds away from each other again. Either that, or…or Fai himself had felt uncomfortable sharing a bed with the dark haired ninja. Although, knowing Fai so well, Kurogane was inclined to guess that it had been the former rather than the latter.

It was only then that he noticed something else, something that made him freeze in his tracks as he saw something glinting on his bed, caught in the beam of moonlight that had managed to sneak past the shutters of the window.

"Ginryuu…" He breathed, moving slowly forward and caressing it as if in a dream, hardly able to believe that he had been reunited with his old, beloved sword again. Then suddenly, the wondrous expression on his face became vaguely murderous, and he grabbed the sword and stormed out, yelling for the 'manjuu bun'.

He never noticed that his roommate had not been sleeping, and had in fact been watching him carefully through half-closed eyes. Nor did he notice the look of pain that passed over Fai's face before it was rapidly swallowed up in a bitter smile, as the blonde pulled his mask back up again, mending the cracks that he had allowed to show whilst in Kurogane's presence recently.

"I can't do anything right, can I?" He remarked softly.

* * *

"Oi! What the hell is this?" Kurogane bellowed, brandishing his returned sword at Mokona, who blinked sleepily up at him from its position on the sofa.

"It's Kuro-wan's sword!" He sang, ignoring the vein that was beginning to throb on Kurogane's forehead.

"I know that! What's it doing here?" He snapped, poking Mokona hard in the belly. To his chagrin, the white creature simply giggled, squirming at the sensation.

"Yuuko sent it back through Mokona!"

"But why! I thought that a price once paid was non-returnable!" Kurogane growled, briefly wondering whether Mokona would answer if he cut off the damn thing's jewel and stuffed it down its throat.

"Not if it's traded for something of equal value!" Mokona announced happily. Kurogane stiffened, a sinking feeling in his chest at the manjuu bun's words.

"…Traded? Who traded something for Ginryuu, Mokona?"

"Fai. He gave his necklace to Yuuko."

* * *

Fai lay in his bed, blue eyes staring sightlessly at the wall as he gripped his covers tightly in his hands. He'd only wanted to give Kurogane something to cheer him up…to say sorry for breaking both Souhi and his heart.

But he'd just made everything worse again. Kurogane hadn't been happy to see Ginryuu after all…he'd just looked angry. Fai had failed again – just like he always did.

* * *

"_Fai, Count Saki told me that you failed to make him the spell he had requested again."_

"_But Ashura-ou, it's a very violent spell. I think that he intends to use it to make war with rival families."_

"_So? Let him. What the nobles decide to do in their spare time is no concern of ours."_

"_But what about all the people who'll get caught in the cross-fire! You're their king, Ashura-ou, that is your concern!"_

"_Are you questioning me, Fai?"_

"_I...no. No Ashura-ou."_

"_Good. Because if you were, I would feel very hurt by your lack of faith in me, especially since I keep having to protect you from the nobles."_

"_Protect me?"_

"_They're calling you a failure, Fai. You keep refusing to make their spells, and they're growing tired of your pacifism."_

"_But I don't want anyone to be hurt! I don't like wars! I don't like people being killed!"_

"_You have killed people though, haven't you, Fai? Back when we were children, and you killed your uncle and his friends."_

"_It was an accident!"_

"_I know Fai…what I mean is that there is no point being a pacifist when you're already a murderer."_

"_M...murderer?"_

"_Fai, would you reconsider your decision? For me?"_

"_Yes, Ashura-ou. I will not give anyone cause to call me a failure again."

* * *

_

"I did though, didn't I?" Fai whispered to the empty room. "I failed Kurogane again…"

"Fai? Mage, are you awake?"

Fai gasped quietly, shifting to face Kurogane as the ninja re-entered their room, gazing into the Japanese man's crimson eyes.

"I'm awake, Kuro-woof…do you need something?" He asked, smiling. The next thing he knew, Kurogane was on top of him, pinning the blonde down as he glared at him.

"You idiot! What did you go and do a thing like that for! Why get me back Ginryuu?" He growled. Fai closed his eyes, refusing to look at the powerful man.

"I knew I should have told him not to say anything…"

"Why! Answer me, damnit! The manjuu bun said something about you trading a necklace for it…"

"And what if I did, Kuro-chin? It wasn't that important to me…" He murmured, lying through his teeth and hoping that for once in his life, Kurogane wouldn't see behind the mask. No such luck.

"Liar! That witch doesn't take just anything. You gave her the most precious thing left to you, didn't you? What was it? Another gift from your beloved Ashura-ou?" Kurogane snapped bitterly, unable to help himself. Fai just shook his head, opening his eyes to stare soulfully up at the ninja.

"No. It was the last thing I had left of my parents."

Kurogane froze, eyes going impossibly wide as he gazed down at the wizard who lay underneath him, feeling all of 10 inches tall.

"Fai…why? Why did you do that?" He whispered hoarsely.

"Because you broke your sword trying to protect me from Ashura…and I paid you back by betraying your love when I woke. I just wanted to apologise, Kuro-sama…I just wanted us to be friends again, even if we could never be anything more." Fai murmured brokenly, a bittersweet smile spreading across his face.

Without even realising what he was doing, Kurogane smoothed some of Fai's hair back from his face with a trembling hand, wanting to say something but finding his throat choked with emotion. They stayed like that for a moment, just staring at each other, until Kurogane realised that Fai's eyelids were beginning to droop closed, lulled to sleep by the warmth of the other man on top of him.

"Kuro-tan is so warm…" Fai mumbled softly, before giving in to sleep, his head lolling to the side as he slipped into restful darkness. Kurogane stayed watching him for a moment, but then sighed and rolled off of Fai, although he remained lying next to him. Wrapping his arms around the blonde, he buried his face in Fai's hair, and whispered.

"I wanted that too…"

* * *

When Fai woke the next morning, Kurogane was gone. But judging from the fact that the other bed had been unslept in, and that the other side of Fai's bed still felt so warm, Fai knew that Kurogane had stayed the night with him, giving him comfort despite the fact that they were no longer together.

_>I don't even know where we are now. Travelling companions? Comrades? Friends? I just get so confused when I'm around him…and I think that I confuse him too. Does that mean that we can only make sense of what's around us when we're together? I don't know anymore…>_

Fai sighed and pushed back the covers, deciding that he felt well enough to get out of bed today. His head ached slightly as he stood up, but he ignored the pain, knowing that by this time tomorrow he would be completely healed. Walking to the door, he paused, suddenly unsure of his ability to face Kurogane again.

* * *

"_I love you Fai…I want you to be mine forever." Ashura whispered softly, before leaning in to capture Fai's rosebud lips in a gentle kiss. Fai gladly relaxed into it, before pulling away, his heart beating wildly._

"_Yes. Forever yours."

* * *

_

"_People like you, Kurogane?" He asked calmly. Kurogane stared at him for a moment, surprised by the fact that the wizard had actually used his proper name. Then, he grinned down wolfishly at the man trapped beneath him._

"_Yes. People like me." He said, swooping down to capture the blonde's lips with his own.

* * *

_

"_It's not impossible to love more than one person at the same time…but it is impossible to love both of them equally. You must love one of them more than the other, even if you don't realise it. And sooner or later, you will have to choose."

* * *

_

Pulling back, Fai stared sadly at his trembling hand, before moving back to sit on the bed, burying his head in his hands.

"I don't get confused because of Kuro-pii…I get confused because of _myself_. And because of that, I end up confusing Kuro-kichi too. The only way I can stop this is to choose."

"And I don't know how."

* * *

_Whoa! That took ages! I'm so sorry everybody...what with coursework and other activities, I've been unable to update as quickly as I wanted to. But I will say now that I know exactly how I'm ending this fic, and that there aren't many chapters left to go. Only 1, possibly 2, before the ending chapter._

_I would also like to say that there are going to be 3 alternate endings for this as well - as happy one, a sad but optimistic one, and a downright tearjerking one. I just couldn't choose between them, so I'm going to write all 3!_

_Thankyou so much for all my faithful reviewers - I'll be replying to comments at the end of the next chapter._

_But until then...read and review!_


	8. The Power Of Choice

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Chapter Eight; The Power Of Choice**

"I wonder where Fai-san is…I was under the impression that he would be well enough to have breakfast with us today." Syaoran remarked, glancing at the door again. Sighing, he looked back down at the newspaper he was reading, glancing through the headlines for signs of anything unusual happening in this country recently. He'd been pleasantly surprised to find that the writing system here had been practically identical to Clow's own, and whilst Mokona had been able to tell that there was no feather here, Syaoran wanted to keep his eye open for any sign of Ashura following them.

"I'm sure Fai-san will come if he gets hungry. Maybe he's still not feeling that good." Sakura replied, smiling as she helped herself to another serving of rice. Syaoran blinked before grinning at her, causing the princess to blush ever so slightly.

"Ah, that damn mage can starve for all I care. If he wants to be a recluse, let him." Kurogane growled half-heartedly, hitting Mokona as their small companion attempted to steal his serving of rice.

"Well, I'm sorry to see that you feel that way." A lilting voice replied, and all four looked up to see Fai coming through the doorway. The blonde waved at them chirpily, moving to sit down next to Sakura and beginning to fill his bowl.

"Fai-san! We thought that you were still too ill to eat with us!" Sakura said, happily clapping her hands. Fai simply smiled at her and shook his head, before picking up a pair of chopsticks and staring woefully at them.

"No, I'm practically healed, Sakura-chan. I should be fine by tomorrow. I was just…thinking."

Kurogane frowned as he saw the pained expression briefly pass over the blonde's face, but held back from saying anything, afraid of getting in too deep again. >_I mean, look at last time. I went to confront him about his false smiles, and I ended up getting into a serious relationship with him! Who knows what would happen now if I asked him what was wrong?>_

"I wouldn't bother if I were you." He growled instead, gazing levelly at Fai. "Too much thinking might make that sorry excuse for a brain of yours explode."

Fai ignored the meaningless jab, knowing by now that it didn't mean that Kurogane was actually trying to hurt him. He'd realised long ago that remarks like these were the ninja's way of pushing people away, and if Kurogane wanted to try and go back to the way things had been before…well, that was up to him. Fai was in no position to try and persuade him otherwise, since he was as yet unsure of what exactly he could offer Kurogane in a relationship. Care and devotion? Certainly. Everlasting love? He still wasn't sure.

"Oh!" Syaoran suddenly exclaimed, his body growing tense as he stared at the article that had caught his attention.

"Syaoran-kun? Is something wrong?" Sakura asked softly, getting up and moving to look over his shoulder at the paper.

Syaoran simply lifted his head to stare wordlessly at Fai, his face solemn. Fai stiffened, already knowing that whatever the brown haired teenager had to say wouldn't be good.

"Fai-san…" Syaoran began carefully, keeping his voice neutral and emotionless. "Do you think that you're in good enough condition to skip worlds again?" Fai winced at Syaoran's overly calm tone, glancing instinctively at Kurogane, needing the other man's comfort. To his surprise, Kurogane reached over without being asked, tightly gripping one of Fai's pale hands in his own.

"It's…It's Ashura, isn't it? Somehow, he's found a way to follow us much faster than Yuuko said he would be able to without a feather…right?" Fai whispered hoarsely, feeling his carefully constructed masks come crashing down for what seemed the millionth time.

For months he'd been able to keep up the facade of being carefree…even when he'd been with Kurogane, he'd been able to keep himself hidden from Sakura and Syaoran. But these last few days, with Ashura's return into his life…his layers of pretence had been cruelly ripped away, and Fai hated how he became so exposed to the world.

"I don't know…but it seems like it." Syaoran said hesitantly, handing over the paper for Fai to see. Heart in his mouth, Fai gazed shakily down at the print, brow furrowing as he scanned through the article.

_In the early hours of yesterday evening, police were summoned to a house on the outskirts of the city after receiving a call from the owner saying that a pale man with long dark hair had just appeared in his garden and was attempting to gain access to the house. When officers arrived at the location, they found the patio door smashed and the owner dead on the sitting room floor. _

_Later analysis of the body proved that death was due to natural causes, as the owner's body appeared to have shut down suddenly. However, questions have been raised about the appearance of the intruder, and the likelihood of a healthy man's body shutting down with no warning at all. _

Fai closed his eyes, bringing his free hand up to massage his temples lightly, unable to believe it. After all this time…after he'd spent so long running…Ashura had caught up with him for the second time in a single week.

"It's him." He said tiredly, dropping the paper carelessly down upon the table. Seeing the anxious faces looking at him, he gave a weak chuckle and waved his hand offhandedly at them, almost as though he couldn't care less about his pursuer's reappearance.

"It appears that Ashura-ou is draining the life force of other people to fuel his own energy levels, making up for the power it took him to jump worlds without the feather. By harnessing the power of their souls and converting them into pure magic, Ashura-ou has a practically limitless source of magic now." Fai sighed, looking down at the table.

"So we can just skip worlds tonight, then? I'll start packing…" Sakura began, moving towards her room. But to her surprise, Fai's hand shot out and lightly caught her wrist, stopping her in her tracks.

"No, Sakura-chan. It's too late for that now. No matter how far we run, or how many worlds we move through, Ashura will always be there. Now that he's worked out how to harvest people's spirits, he'll never have to worry about energy loss between journeys again." Fai whispered.

"But…but…what can we do, then? If we stay here, he'll only discover us in the end!" Sakura exclaimed in confusion, staring uncertainly at Fai through huge emerald eyes. The blonde Seresuan simply released her wrist and shrugged, a bitter smile gracing his features.

"There's only one thing we _can_ do, Sakura-chan. I have to give myself up to him." Fai said quietly.

Instantly, Kurogane was on his feet, grabbing Fai by the shoulders and shaking hard, his grip tightening until it was probably painful.

"The hell you are! Damnit, Fai, you are _not_ going back to him like this! Not after you've managed to elude him for so long!" Kurogane bellowed, finally releasing Fai and practically throwing the blonde back into his seat.

To his annoyance, Fai simply smiled at him, although it was much sadder and bittersweet than his usual masks were.

"Can't you see, Kurogane? He's won. I can't evade him anymore. The game's over, and I lost."

"But Fai-san…" Syaoran began, gazing levelly at the older man. "I'm sure that there's another way around this. If we can just move on to another world, I'm sure we can come up with a plan…"

Fai shook his head, staring seriously back at the teenager.

"No, Syaoran-kun. There's no other way. Plus, it would make it harder to find the hime's feathers, and that's what you started this journey for, ne? I don't want to make things difficult for you like that."

"You wouldn't be! We could work around it." Sakura pleaded, hands clasped in front of her as if in prayer. Fai just shrugged, looking down at the table, unable to meet her gaze.

"No, Sakura-chan. The road ends here. I will find Ashura-ou today and agree to go back to Seresu with him." His words laden with a tone of finality, Fai pushed back his chair and stood up, turning to leave. But before he could go anywhere, a harsh voice rang out.

"So you're just going to run back to him? That sadistic slimeball of a king!" Kurogane demanded, jumping to his own feet and moving to stand behind Fai. When the blonde made no reply, Kurogane seized his arm and spun him sharply round to face him, forcing Fai to look at him.

"You're just going to give up on yourself? You're going to give up…give up…" Kurogane's voice halted, and he glared angrily down at the slender blonde, feeling his crimson eyes narrowing at the look of dull acceptance on Fai's face. >_Ah, screw it.>_

"You're going to give up…on us?" He finished, before swooping down to capture Fai's lips with his own, in a kiss just as passionate as their very first one from so long ago. Fai responded, but Kurogane felt the difference almost immediately, and pulled away, lips still tingling from Fai's kiss…a bittersweet one that had been more sadness than passion.

"You are, aren't you?" He said softly, gazing at Fai with hurt eyes. "You're not going to even try and rebuild our relationship. You're just going to go running back to him like a dumb, faithful dog."

Fai leaned up and pressed his lips gently against Kurogane's own, before moving back and cupping Kurogane's face with a pale hand.

"But we don't have a relationship, do we Kuro-pii? All we have are wishes and dreams. You said it yourself; you're just one of Tomoyo-hime's protectors…and I'm a shattered shell who's still hung up on the one who broke me."

Closing his eyes in a pained expression, Fai opened them again to reveal crystal blue eyes that were glistening with unshed tears. If he was going to do this to Kurogane, the least he could do was to do it without the masks of nonchalance he'd hidden behind for years. The least he could do was show Kurogane his real self as he said his final goodbyes to him.

"Don't get me wrong, Kuro-wan, I do love you. But I love Ashura-ou more, despite everything he's done to me." Stepping back, Fai let a watery grin spread across his face, even as he wiped his eyes furiously with his sleeve.

"At the end of the day, all that I can really look forward to is Ashura-ou's lies. And yet somehow…that's enough for me." Finding himself unable to keep looking Kurogane in the face, Fai let out a weak chuckle and turned away, showing only his back to the four other people in the room.

"These last few months have meant more to me than you could ever know. So I want to thank you for allowing me to be a part of your quest…and for letting me be your comrade…your _friend_."

Pausing at the door, Fai turned his head slightly, just enough for the group to see a glimpse of blue eyes and the sad curve of a smile.

"Syaoran-kun…look after Sakura-chan for me, ok? And make sure that he doesn't get too serious, hime. And Mokona…don't give Kurogane the chance to stay in control. I may not be around, but you can still find ways to tease him, I'm sure."

Taking a deep breath, Fai face forwards again, hand resting lightly on the doorknob.

"Kurogane…thankyou. For everything."

And with those words, he was gone.

* * *

For a moment, all was silent in the house as the group stared after Fai, their gazes unwavering even though he was already out of sight. Then the feeling of shock passed, and Kurogane let out an angry roar, slamming his fist down on the table. 

"He can't do this…we have to stop him!" Sakura cried, beginning to move for the door. But Syaoran was faster, and he caught her around the middle, pulling her back into his arms.

"Syaoran-kun! Let me go!" Sakura struggled against him, unable to understand why Syaoran was stopping her like this. However, he refused to let go, and instead she was forced to give up, standing limply in his embrace.

"Why! _Why_!" She sobbed, tears running down her face.

"Because this was Fai's choice. He didn't leave because he was forced to…he left because he decided that he wanted to stay with Ashura, despite the way he treats him. He finally realised exactly who held his heart." Kurogane said quietly, unable to disguise the pain Fai's choice had caused him.

"_Don't get me wrong, Kuro-wan, I do love you. But I love Ashura-ou more, despite everything he's done to me. At the end of the day, all that I can really look forward to is Ashura-ou's lies. And yet somehow…that's enough for me."_

"Damnit!" He cursed bitterly, letting himself drop into a nearby chair. How could he have let this happen? How could he have allowed himself to fall for a mage, who at the end of the day had never been able to truly love him, or promise to never leave him?

* * *

"_How old are you, Kurogane?"_

"_What should my age matter to you, hime? What are you babbling on about this time?"_

"_How many years have you walked this planet, Kurogane? And yet, have you ever found the time to be in love?"_

"_Love is a foolish emotion, that gives nothing but pain."_

"_Not at all! Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world! To care for someone, and want them to care for you in return…there is no other feeling like it. Love doesn't hurt like that, Kurogane."

* * *

_

"You were wrong, hime." Kurogane murmured to himself. "Love hurts more than anything else in the world…and cuts deeper than any sword ever could."

* * *

Fai strode along the road, heading for the small forest that lay on the outskirts of the town, somehow knowing that this was where Ashura would be found. The irony of the situation didn't escape him, and he let out a small, empty chuckle. 

_>I spend years of my life miserable with him…and then I seal him away and run from him for months…only to realise later that I'm still in love with him, and just want to stay with him. How dumb can you get?>_ Fai wasn't sure if he was referring to his belated realisation, or the fact that he still wanted to be with Ashura.

Sighing, he looked up at the trees that loomed above him, and entered the forest, blue eyes darting about, watching for any sign of movement. Seeing none, he stopped still on the track and spread his arms, turning his face skywards and shouting;

"I'm here, Ashura-ou! I have returned!"

The moment that the words had left his mouth, a faint breeze ruffled Fai's hair, and he smiled, looking back down to see Ashura standing in front of him, a satisfied smirk on the other man's face.

"Well well, what do we have here? Have you finally realised the error of your ways, Fai?" Ashura sneered, viciously seizing Fai's chin and digging his nails into the soft flesh.

"Y…yes, Ashura-ou. I realise now how foolish I've been. Because…it's you that I love the most." Fai whispered, letting his gaze drop to the floor.

Ashura studied him for a moment, before laughing and releasing him. Moving behind Fai, he wrapped his arms around the blonde and nuzzled his ear, making Fai's breath catch as he felt his king's lips brush against the shell of his ear.

"No more fear, Fai. No more running. You belong to me, and only me. And when we get back to Seresu, I'm going to make sure that you never forget it. Understand?" Ashura murmured, his grip on Fai tightening ever so fractionally.

"Yes, Ashura-ou." Fai replied, his eyes slipping closed as he surrendered to the fate of his choice. Leaning back into Ashura's twisted embrace, he was unaware of the single tear that silently squeezed itself past his eyelid, ghosting its way down his cheek.

Unaware of the part of him that cried for the love he had lost.

* * *

"It already feels so strange without Fai-san…it seems so quiet now." Sakura murmured softly, staring up at the ceiling as she washed the breakfast dishes. Taking a bowl from her, Syaoran nodded as he dried, before placing the now dry piece of china in the cupboard, for use on another day. 

"Hyuu…it's lonely without Fai." Mokona said sadly, ears drooping. Over by the table, Kurogane growled slightly, shooting a dark look at Mokona, as if daring it to say anything else.

"Peaceful, you mean. Maybe we can finally have some quiet time around here now." He snarled, getting up and storming into the bedroom that was now his alone, slamming the door behind him forcefully.

Behind him, Syaoran winced, and his hands stilled for a moment before continuing with their work. Sakura sighed and bowed her head, emerald eyes unusually sad.

"Kurogane-san is in a lot of pain right now. And because he doesn't want us to know that he's hurting, he hides away in his room. Now that Fai-san is gone, Kurogane-san's heart is gone too. Because he never took it back from Fai-san." She whispered quietly.

"But maybe…maybe there's hope, hime." Syaoran said seriously, causing her to look up at him in surprise.

"Syaoran-kun?"

"Just like the Space Time Witch said…there is no coincidence in the world. It was hitsuzen that brought us together on that day…and I'm sure that it was hitsuzen that helped Kurogane-san and Fai-san to be together."

"And you can't fight hitsuzen, right?" Sakura smiled.

"No, hime. Hitsuzen cannot be changed."

* * *

Muttering curses under his breath, Kurogane slammed an angry fist into his pillow, blood red eyes flashing dangerously. Repeating the action, he let out a furious snarl before collapsing, simply lying there on the woven sheets as two solitary tears made their way past his iron clad emotionless defences. 

_>Damn you, Fai. Damn you! Damn your smiles, and damn your tears! Damn the way you laugh like that, and damn the way you care so much for everyone around you…damn the way you look so beautiful when you're not hiding yourself away! Damn you!>_

Opening his eyes, Kurogane stared heatedly across the room, before suddenly blinking and sitting upright as his gaze fell upon the small pile of belongings that lay in the corner of the room, untouched since they had first arrived in this world.

"Stupid idiot…" Kurogane murmured, moving across the room and kneeling next to the mound of belongings. "You left all your stuff behind."

Suddenly making up his mind, Kurogane swept the items into a backpack and stood up, slinging it onto his back. Striding back into the kitchen, he kicked the front door open, and turned to face his startled companions, a determined expression on his face.

"Where's the nearest dark, forbidding place in this town?" He demanded.

"Umm…probably the forest outside of town, Kurogane-san. Why?" Syaoran answered, looking confused.

"Because that's the most likely place to find that darn slimeball." Kurogane said definitely, grinning wolfishly.

And then he left, leaving Sakura and Syaoran speechless behind him.

* * *

"Now, Fai…shall we go home? As I recall, we have a lot of cleaning up to do in the palace…dead bodies make the palace look nice, but I'm afraid the smell far outweighs their aesthetic appeal." Ashura purred, slowly loosening his grip to allow Fai to step away. 

Fai felt slightly sick at the thought of using dead bodies to decorate a palace; especially since those lifeless shells were the corpses of those he had once called friends. However, he refrained from saying so, and instead nodded slightly, turning to face Ashura once more.

"Yes, Ashura-ou. When we get back I will make sure to get the palace spotless again. I'm sure that I can get help from the nearby villages…unless things have changed, there are sure to be people desperate for jobs – they can become the new cleaning staff for the palace."

"But all the people of the nearby villages are dead, Fai. Remember? We killed them. They stormed the castle intent on taking my life, and we killed them all." Ashura murmured silkily. Fai shuddered and shut his eyes before letting his regretful expression melt into another fake smile, remembering that Ashura hated to see him looking upset. Even if those dark memories pained him, he didn't want to disappoint Ashura-ou.

"Then I will have to dispose of the bodies myself, Ashura-ou." Fai muttered. Ashura smiled charmingly, and began to gently finger one of Fai's blonde locks of hair.

"Thankyou, Fai. Perhaps you won't be as troublesome as I feared after all." He breathed.

"Well, I don't know about him, but in my opinion it's you who's the troublesome one. But then again, I'm not the one going to live with you, am I?"

Fai gasped at the gruff voice, whirling round to see Kurogane standing there, a wry expression on his face and a blue pack on his back.

"K…Kuro-wan!"

Ashura sighed as if in exasperation and moved to stand next to Fai, fingers flexing in a crushing movement absentmindedly.

"Ah, Kurogane…are you too stubborn to see that Fai has made his choice, and that it wasn't you?"

Kurogane bared his teeth in a parody of a smile, but refrained from making any further response, refusing to rise to the bait. Instead, he simply moved towards Fai and let the backpack slide to the ground, beckoning for Fai to come closer.

"You forgot your stuff, Fai. So I ended up being your donkey and carrying it for you…not much has changed, has it?" Kurogane snorted, lifting the bag and handing it to Fai. The blonde's hand closed reflexively over the handle, and he smiled slightly at the lost expression he saw on Fai's face.

"Cheer up, you damn mage. It's ok to smile, you know. Not if they're fake smiles, but when you're really, truly happy…then you should let the whole world know. At least, that's what a certain princess once told me." Pausing, Kurogane glanced down at the ground, allowing a small chuckle to escape him.

"Come to think of it, she told me a lot of stuff like that. She kept harping on about love too, but I still don't really agree with what she said."

"Kuro-muu…"

"It's alright, Fai. I didn't come here to make you feel guilty about your choice. If you love him, then I accept that. I can't say that I understand why, but if being with that cr…_man_…makes you happy, then I'm ok with that." Kurogane finished.

Fai gulped and looked down at the bag, wondering briefly just how much was in it. Just the things that he had owned? Or had Kurogane included everything that held a trace of him once being there? Was Kurogane trying to erase him from his life?

"Th…thankyou, Kuro-sama." Fai murmured, gazing uncertainly at Kurogane. The next thing he knew, he was being enveloped in a tight hug, and strong, warm arms surrounded him.

"Don't you dare forget about me, alright?" Kurogane whispered fiercely in Fai's ear. "If you forget about me, I swear that I'll cross dimensions and hunt you down, understand me!"

Fai laughed weakly, and pulled away, wiping his eyes.

"I understand, Kuro-kichi. I won't forget you. As long as you don't forget me."

"And as long as you remember that Fai is mine now." Ashura interrupted, glaring darkly at Kurogane.

The ninja's lip curled, but he nodded, beginning to walk away, despite how it was killing him to do so. For a moment, Fai just watched him go, feeling the sudden urge to break down and cry. But he fought the impulse, and instead concentrated on pulling up his mask again, afraid of making Kurogane feel even worse.

And then all hell broke loose.

One moment, Kurogane was striding down the track towards the forest edge. Then suddenly two globes of crackling energy shot past Fai and towards Kurogane, exploding around the ninja and sending clouds of dirt and dust billowing up into the air.

When the clouds cleared, Fai cried out as he saw Kurogane lying still on the floor, finding himself unable to tear his eyes away from the blood that was trickling down from a wound hidden by the Japanese man's helmet.

"Kuro-rin!" Fai called, panicking as he realised that the other man wasn't moving. Then Kurogane groaned quietly, head lolling to the side, and Fai breathed again. Head snapping round to face Ashura, he glared furiously at the Seresuan king, unable to believe what he had done.

"Ashura-ou! Why? Why did you do that!" He demanded. Ashura simply smirked and flung out an arm, shoving Fai hard so that the blonde fell to the ground. Moving before Fai could get to his feet, Ashura glided quickly to Kurogane side, stopping and delicately planting a foot upon the fallen swordsman's chest.

"It was very thoughtful of you to bring Fai's things for him like that, Kurogane, but I'm afraid that you won't be able to keep your promise and remember Fai. Seeing as how you'll be dead anyway."

From his position on the ground, Fai breathed in sharply, blue eyes widening in horror as he realised what Ashura was going to do.

"You see, I'm feeling quite drained from my last little trip through dimensions. The other man's life force was quite enough to recover my immediate strength, but I'm afraid that I still don't have enough power to skip worlds again. So I'll just have to draw on your spirit's strength. You don't mind, do you?" Ashura sneered, his hand beginning to glow as it moved closer to Kurogane's chest.

Fai shut his eyes as tightly as he could, unable to watch Ashura suck the life out of the man he had loved so much. Kurogane was going to die. Kurogane was going to die, and he couldn't do a thing about it.

* * *

"_Ever since that demon attacked you, and you got injured, I realised that my emotions were screwed up around you. And when we thought that Seishirou had killed you…I was devastated, even though I didn't show it. It was then that I realised…I cared for you more than a friend."

* * *

_

"_Kuro-chan wants to carry me? I'm touched!" Fai announced, beginning to squirm. Kurogane elbowed him._

"_Either stop fidgeting, or I drop you."_

"_Waaa! Kuro-tan is meeean!"

* * *

_

"_Thankyou. This day has just been…I can't describe it. Thankyou." He whispered. Kurogane smirked, and drew out the last items from the bag._

"_We haven't got to the best part yet." He whispered.

* * *

_

"_No. I promised myself that I'd protect you, and I can't do that if I'm not with you." Kurogane said, and with those words he pulled Fai closer to him, capturing the quivering lips in a kiss.

* * *

_

"…_And you know what, Fai? I might say you're an idiot sometimes, but when it comes down to it, I'm just as much an idiot as you are, right? After all, I managed to fool myself into thinking that a puppet could love one other than his master."

* * *

_

"_You're going to give up…on us?"_ _He finished, before swooping down to capture Fai's lips with his own, in a kiss just as passionate as their very first one from so long ago.

* * *

_

"_Cheer up, you damn mage. It's ok to smile, you know. Not if they're fake smiles, but when you're really, truly happy…then you should let the whole world know. At least, that's what a certain princess once told me."

* * *

_

"_It's alright, Fai. I didn't come here to make you feel guilty about your choice. If you love him, then I accept that. I can't say that I understand why, but if being with that cr…man…makes you happy, then I'm ok with that."_

_

* * *

_

"No…" Fai whispered, his fingers curling to grip helplessly at the ground in denial. >_No…he'll die…Kurogane will die…I can't let…I can't let…>_

"Noooo!"

* * *

"It was very convenient, you know, you turning up like that just now." Ashura smiled. "It saved me from having to go all the way back into the town to find another victim." 

Kurogane glared up at him, spitting blood into the pale man's face.

"Damn you." He growled, struggling to move his arm so that he could grab his sword and put an end to Ashura once and for all.

"Now now, Kurogane. You want Fai to be happy, don't you? He wants to go home with me…and you can make that possible by sacrificing this little thing for him. I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"You think I'm just going to lie here and let you kill me? After that feeble excuse? You've got another thing coming." Kurogane snarled, finally managing to grip Ginryuu. But as he stared up at Ashura looming over him, he knew that it was too late. >_Damn it all…I didn't want it to end like this…I wanted to die back in my own world, with Tomoyo and Souma to watch over me…and Fai to be there with me until the very end. >_

"I thank you in advance for your donation." Ashura laughed, before plunging his hand down to strike Kurogane's chest.

"Noooo!"

Kurogane gaped as a sudden shrill scream rang out through the forest, accompanied by a fierce gust of wind and a large blast of blue electricity that sent Ashura flying through the air to crash into an oak tree.

Turning his head to where the source of the wind seemed to be coming from, Kurogane gasped silently, unable to believe what he was seeing, sure that it must be some sort of dream.

"Fai…?"

Fai stood there, his hair blowing wildly in the wind that seemed to be emanating from him, white coat flying back to flap loosely behind him. Surrounded by a strange glowing light, bolts of blue electricity sparked around his fingers, dancing their way up his arms before snaking their way back into his hands.

His eyes, usually so clear and bright, had become dark and stormy, a vortex of dark blues and purples swirling round in them, until there seemed to be no end to his gaze. Seeing Fai in such a way, with such a stirring of power and solemnity around him…Kurogane couldn't believe that this was the same goofy blonde that had joked around so much during their short time together.

"I won't let you hurt him, Ashura-ou." Fai growled, his voice determined.

"You dare betray me again, Fai? Have you already forgotten exactly why you came to me less than an hour ago?" Ashura asked, his voice seething with barely restrained rage.

Fai stood his ground, barely flinching as Ashura rose to his feet. And when three bolts of energy suddenly appeared out of nowhere to come sailing towards him, Fai didn't move. Instead, a faintly shimmering shield rapidly formed in front of him, sending the attacks bouncing harmlessly away, to dissipate in the forest's undergrowth.

"I came because I thought that I had made the right choice. Because I thought that you were the one I loved the most. But I was wrong." Fai said in a choked voice, swirls of lighter blue making their way into the whirling vortex of his eyes and making it seem as if he was crying tears of pure light.

"I came because I didn't realise that the man I thought I loved had died a long time ago. And because I was too blinded by the past to see what I had now. Because that's where the Ashura I fell in love with is…in the past."

Ashura stiffened momentarily, before throwing his head back and laughing in a horrible parody of mirth. Then suddenly the laughter was cut off, and he was glaring at Fai, dark eyes glinting sharply even as he summoned more energy into his hands.

"You fool, Fai! I am not some thing lost to the past – I'm here!" He sneered. Fai just shook his head, more crackles of energy beginning to form around his hands in response to Ashura's magic.

"No, Ashura-ou. You are not the boy I fell in love with. The boy I fell in love with was good, and kind, and always willing to help his people. The boy that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with was honest…trustworthy. And he let me call him 'Ashura' in private.

"Do you remember him, Ashura-ou? That young Seresuan prince called Ashura-ouji? He died the day that his father did, leaving me alone with a sadistic murderer who claimed to be my koi. The moment that you were crowned King, your whole personality changed. You let your councillors whisper poison words in your ear, and listened to their greedy ideas of power and riches. Slowly, you changed, until there was nothing left of the ideals you had held as prince – you became a tyrant. A monster.

"Yet you did just enough to hide it from me. Or maybe I was simply too dumb to realise what a fool I was being." Fai murmured, staring sadly at Ashura. From his position on the ground, Kurogane watched, unsure of what to do in this situation…and in awe of the power of the two men.

He could almost _feel_ it, those two charged wills, and the intense power that rippled underneath their skin, just waiting for release. But whilst Ashura's magic seemed to reek of death and destruction, Fai's was somehow more poignant, and Kurogane sensed the waves of mixed sadness and determination rolling off the blonde. It was a moment that seemed more fit for storybooks than real life. And yet…it was all happening now, outside the realm of fantasy. And Kurogane was blown away by it all, stunned into a momentary feeling of paralysis.

"You left me alone in the palace, and just went off with your friends! You cared just enough to sometimes send a messenger back to tell me you were staying out all night! You cared just enough to try and hide it when you slept with other people! But that was all…in the end, the only person I could rely on was one who I'd made myself…Chii. And if you'd been there for me when I needed you, she wouldn't have even existed."

"Is it my fault that you felt awkward around some of the other nobles? You could have just spent time with them, instead of making that idiotic creature!" Ashura snarled, glaring daggers at his rebellious wizard.

"But then I might never have realised how much we lacked in our relationship. Chii's devotion showed that to me…even though I tried to ignore it, and pretended that everything was alright. Remember that final day, Ashura-ou? When the villages banded together to storm the castle? _They asked me to help bring you down_. And I was still too blinded to see that they were right, and instead fought _alongside_ you. I helped you repel them…but when I looked around later, I saw that you had been killing them. You had shown no mercy.

"That was when I snapped. I sealed you away, and left that place. But the question is this, Ashura-ou…if you showed no mercy to those poor villagers…why should I show you any mercy now?"

* * *

Oh oh! What's going to happen next? Well...you'll just have to wait and see! But be warned, the next chapter will my Sad Ending! So bring a few boxes of Kleenex! By the way, I had this chapter typed up weeks ago, but my Internet connection went down, so ...sorry! 

**Hayama 4 -** Glad you liked the phrase, and I put it in again in this chapter just for you!

**Missen -** Well...I updated. What do you think?

**artemis347 -** Don't worry, I plan to keep going! And yeah, Fai-san's so huggable!

**Meowzy-chan -** I'm glad you thought my chapter was so good...I tried to put emotion in this one too, but I'm not sure that I pulled it off!

**Ranma Higurashi -** Updated...but not very SOON! Sorry!

**Mizu-Tenshi -** Yup, 3 alternate endings! Couldn't choose between them, so...and yup, I was willing them back together too. Unfortunately, my fingers don't listen to me, and type whatever they want to.

**hentai-monkey -** Amazing andsad and beautiful story? Wow...you honour me. And I know it's a bit depressing...but then again, it's a Fai one, right? Ha ha! I'm sad that the story's ending too...I think it's been one of my favourites so far!

**Bakuragirl -** Don't worry, your English seemed fine! And I'm glad that you liked my fic so much!

**KinOfDragons-** Worth the wait? Well, I hope this one was too...that was a loooong wait!

**Marron-chan1 -** Did I scare you? Huh? Huh? Did you think for a moment that I'd keep them apart? (Well maybe I will - depends on the outcome of the fight!)

**alpha2nd -** Thanks! I do try and keep them in-character, but sometimes it's hard to...especially Kurogane! So I think I screwed up his character a bit in this chapter! Sorry!

**ramingo -** Hmm...well...if you're a hopeless romantic, I'm sure that you'll like the Happy Ending! And you may acrually kinda like the Sad But Happy one too...


	9. Ending 1: Soul's Destruction

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Ending 1; Soul's Destruction**

"That was when I snapped. I sealed you away, and left that place. But the question is this, Ashura-ou…if you showed no mercy to those poor villagers…why should I show you any mercy now?"

Silence fell over the area as Fai's words hung heavy on the air, echoing slightly with the power contained in his slender body. Trembling, Fai refused to break eye contact with his former king, sparks of power dancing around his hands as his face set into a determined expression.

And Ashura laughed.

"Do you really think you can beat me, Fai? Without your tattoo? Against my superior skills? You were never strong enough to overpower me, and you never will be. Today will be your last, and you will die by my hand, along with that pathetic…gah!" Ashura's words were cut off as Fai suddenly glowed a soft blue, emitting a wave of pure power that sent Ashura crashing back into a tree, smashing it to the ground.

"No, Ashura-ou. I was always the stronger of the two of us. You were scared of my power, because it far surpassed your own – you were afraid that one day I'd come to my senses and rise up against you. The days that I believed your poison words are history…no more will I allow you to weaken my resolve. No more will you tell me what to do." Fai stated calmly, a strangely serene expression washing over his determined features.

Ashura snorted and tried to get up, only to yelp as another blast of magic forced him painfully back down, crushing him back against the trunk of the fallen tree. Snarling, he tensed his fingers, summoning flames that flickered around himself, sending wisps of smoke into the air wherever they brushed against the tree. But one wave of Fai's hand, and they were doused in an instant, vanishing as though they'd never existed in the first place.

"The time has come, Ashura-ou. Your past acts against the whole of Seresu will be avenged." Fai announced, the light around him beginning to grow stronger as he slowly raised a hand to stretch towards Ashura.

From his position on the ground, Kurogane's eyes widened as he saw the tears that were beginning to silently trickle down the blonde's cheeks, and he suddenly recognised the tranquil expression Fai was wearing as one of great distress, the full of impact of what he was doing crushing the white wizard.

"No! Stop it! Just send him back to your world! _Stop it, Fai_!" Kurogane bellowed desperately, seeing the way that Fai rapidly seemed to be stretching himself too far, moving towards a place where there would be no coming back from. >_Stop it! You won't be Fai anymore…you'll break, damnit! You'll break…>_

Dimly, Fai heard the ninja's yells, but he did not pause in his actions, instead beginning to summon a pulsing ball of energy into his hands, the tears flowing more freely now.

"If I send you back, you'll only come after me again, won't you? And you'll destroy everything that gets in your way…" He murmured, blue eyes locking with Ashura's dark ones.

Ashura glared hatefully up at him, lips curling in anger as his pet broke free of his control, knowing that there was nothing he could do to take back the reins of power now. Pouring his remaining energy into one final attack, he snarled as it was once more thwarted, the last tendrils of his power melting away.

"Congratulations, Fai. You've won. You can kill me and be free of my shadow." He snarled. Watching Fai expectantly for the final blow, he was surprised when Fai held back from releasing his attack, merely shaking his head.

"No, Ashura-ou. Yes, I can kill you – but the one that will be freed is you. You never wanted to turn out like this, did you? You wanted to grow up to be Seresu's greatest king, and bring happiness to the people. You wanted to touch your subjects' hearts so that they would mourn your inevitable passing, and cry at your death. Somewhere along the way, you lost yourself in the power struggles, and you forgot that dream. But I am still a subject of Seresu…and I will still weep for you." Fai whispered brokenly, his eyes fluttering closed in a pained expression as he finally released his attack.

Ashura started at Fai's words, the realisation of what he had always had crashing down upon him as the ball of energy sped towards him. _>You always loved me, didn't you Fai? And you carried on loving me despite my cruelty to you. Even now, you think only of me. >_

Shadowed walls falling to release a heart long forgotten, Ashura smiled as he finally understood, showing the world a grin free of malice for the first time in years. >_I was a fool… >_

"Forgive me, Fai." He prayed, dark eyes closing in acceptance of what was to come.

And he was swallowed up by Fai's attack.

* * *

Kurogane struggled to his feet as Fai suddenly dropped to his knees, body shuddering with the force of his sobs as he screamed his grief for the whole world to hear, the last remnants of his mask lying shattered on the floor. And Kurogane finally saw the Fai who, although he'd been able to peel back enough layers to understand slightly, he had never been truly able to see.

Limping towards his fallen partner, he fell to the ground beside him, gathering the blonde into his arms and holding tight, rocking Fai back and forth as he murmured reassuring words in his ear.

"It's ok…it's ok, Fai. Come back to me…don't you dare leave me alone…" He pleaded in a hushed voice, sending up a prayer to the gods that his lover hadn't reached the point of no return, that Fai hadn't finally tipped over the edge he'd been walking along for so long, finally succumbing to insanity.

Gradually, Fai's sobs grew less and less violent, until he was just whimpering against Kurogane's chest, gripping the dark armour tightly. Shuddering as he got a grip on himself, Fai wrapped his arms tightly around the ninja, pulling himself as close to Kurogane as he could get.

"K…Kuro-muu…" He whispered, burying his face in Kurogane's chest. The Japanese swordsman breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled back slightly, just enough to be able to see Fai properly without squinting.

"Fai…are you alright?" He asked anxiously, crimson eyes scanning the man before him for signs of injury.

Fai nodded, his distressed expression melting into one of tired relief, eyes shining a bright blue.

"I think…I think he was able to be Ashura-ouji again…if only for a little while." Fai murmured, smiling softly at Kurogane. Slowly, he reached up to cup Kurogane's face, and the warrior leaned into the touch, never taking his eyes off Fai. The last time Fai had done this, he'd been about to return to Ashura's clutches. This time, it was Kurogane's embrace that he had chosen.

Leaning up, Fai gently kissed Kurogane, relishing the feel of those rough lips against his own once again. Pulling back, he bit his lip nervously, gazing at the man he loved.

"Kuro-rin…I made a mistake. I thought that Ashura-ou was the one that I loved. But I was wrong. When it came down to it, I knew that I had to choose you. I can't ask for your forgiveness, but…"

"It's yours." Kurogane suddenly interrupted, gazing seriously at Fai.

"Wha…what?" Fai gasped, blinking in shock.

"I forgive you, if there's actually anything to forgive. As long as you stay with me, then I don't care. Plus, I won't have to defend you all the time anymore, because you can use your magic, so that's a point in your favour." Kurogane joked, cracking a small grin. Then he paused, a frown marring his features.

"Come to think of it, I still don't know why you didn't use your powers before. I mean, nothing happened, so…"

"Ahhh!" Fai cut Kurogane off with a pained cry, doubling over and gripping his stomach tightly, face screwed up in agony.

"Fai? Fai, what's wrong!" Kurogane said urgently, reaching to touch Fai reassuringly. Instead, Fai jerked back as if burned and quickly retreated until he was a few metres away from Kurogane. Hissing as a sharp bolt of pain sliced through him, Fai looked up at Kurogane with a thin smile, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead.

"Th…this is why I don't use magic, Kuro-chan. Without my tattoo, I can't control my magic…it's too strong for me to stop naturally." Fai choked out, gasping as another wave of agony passed through him. "It doesn't stop…it just turns into a destructive force…and that force needs an escape outlet, so it just explodes out of me…."

Fai's voice died away, and he cried out again, sinking to the floor. Kurogane made to run to him, and Fai shook his head frantically, biting his lip hard as tried to suppress the power long enough for Kurogane to get to safety.

"Don't you get it, Kuro-pii! In a few seconds, I won't be able to hold it in any longer! Magic will shoot out of me, and it will drain the life energy of anything it touches – this area will become a wasteland."

"Fai…" Kurogane whispered, his hand helplessly going to the handle of Ginryuu, even though he knew that a sword could do nothing in this situation.

"Run, Kuro-tan! Before it's too late! I….ahhhh!" Fai's begging suddenly turned into a scream of suffering, and Kurogane was forced to duck as a red beam of light shot out of the blonde, sailing over the ninja to hit a tree behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, Kurogane's eyes widened as he saw the tree visibly wilt, turning black as if burned by invisible fire.

Fai shuddered as his body was wracked by torturous waves of energies, feeling them continuously build up inside of him until they exploded out of him, again and again.

And yet, Kurogane didn't run. Instead, he simply dodged the beams, refusing to leave Fai's side. And for the first time in his life, Fai felt like he was the one who had the right to call Kurogane a fool.

"Don't be stupid, Kuro-woof! Get out of here! Please! For me!" He pleaded, letting out a choked cry as yet another beam of light shot from inside of him.

"No!" Kurogane bellowed, using Ginryuu to reflect one of the beams away from him. "I won't leave you, Fai!"

"Kurogane! Please!" Fai screamed. Kurogane pulled up short, recognising the rare use of his real name and finally nodded, agreeing. He didn't want to leave Fai like this, but if Fai was so serious about this, then…

Turning to run, Kurogane was forced to jump back as dead trees, unable to support their own weights anymore, crashed down, blocking his way. Another tree fell and slammed into another one, and Kurogane cursed as it provoked a domino effect, causing trees to fall all around the clearing until he was blocked in.

Sliding Ginryuu back into its sheath, he leapt up onto one of the fallen trees and began to climb the barrier, only to hear Fai's howl of warning from behind him. Whirling round, Kurogane gasped as he saw numerous beams shooting in his direction, too many for him to avoid from his current position.

_>Well, witch. Looks like I won't be getting my wish after all, hmm? This is my last stop…>

* * *

_

As the beams of power sped towards Kurogane, Fai cried out a warning, already knowing that it would be too late. >_No! Unless I can stop my magic, Kurogane will die! I always put him in danger like this…I have to stop myself! I have to…I have to…> _But even though Fai wanted to control his power, he knew it was impossible. He couldn't control the energy created, and that energy had to go somewhere, or it would simply implode inside of him…wait.

Smiling sadly, Fai shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, drawing on the magic he had left to pull the beams back inside of him. Shuddering, he staggered to his feet as he felt the energy levels within him rise, lifting his head to grin reassuringly at Kurogane.

"This is going to make you mad at me…but it's the only way I can make things right. I'm sorry, Kuro-wan." He whispered, before gathering his magic to the soles of his feet and pushing off, rising into the air like he had once done in Hanshin with the help of his kudan.

Shooting up as far as he could go, Fai suddenly stopped, hovering as he felt the power inside of him reach critical level. Letting out a small laugh, he spread his arms to the wind and threw his head back, allowing the breeze to ruffle his clothing even as he felt a distant rumbling inside himself beginning to get louder and louder.

And the magic imploded.

* * *

Back at the house, Sakura let out a small cry, the dish she'd been drying slipping from her fingers to smash to the floor.

"Hime!" Syaoran gasped, moving to catch her as she fell backwards, her emerald eyes closed. Then slowly, a single tear slipped from beneath a lid to trickle down her cheek, shining against her skin.

"Fai-san…"

* * *

Upstairs, Mokona suddenly tensed, conversation with Yuuko stopping as an almost painful tingle shot through its body. On the other end of the line, Yuuko bowed her head in respect, dark hair falling about her face.

"You are no longer the passageway for four, Mokona. One of the group has fallen." She said quietly.

* * *

Hearing the thunderous sound of the explosion in the sky above, Kurogane roared in denial, slamming a fist against the dead tree as he saw the sudden clouds of smoke appear up above. Squinting against the Sun's light, Kurogane's eyes widened as he saw a limp figure plummeting towards the ground, and he raced forward to catch it, almost knocked down by the force of the body landing in his arms.

Breath catching in his throat, Kurogane gently shook Fai's unresponsive form, chest tightening when Fai didn't stir. Quickly dropping to the ground and lying Fai down next to him, Kurogane felt for a pulse, gasping hoarsely as he felt none. And when he heard no sign of breathing after laying his ear next to Fai's mouth, Kurogane was forced to admit the truth to himself.

Fai was dead.

"No…oh Kami-sama, no…" He whispered, laying a gentle hand on Fais' cheek and caressing the rapidly cooling skin, feeling none of the warmth that Fai had had in life. Letting out a choked sob, he pulled the corpse into his arms and held it, weeping, as he clutched at the shell of the one person he had loved above all others.

"_No, damn you, no_!" He bellowed, his voice rising until the birds took flight around him, leaving him alone in his grief.

"_FAAAIIIII_!"

* * *

_Oh my God! I did what I never wanted to do! I killed off Fai! (Grabs box of Kleenex tissues for herself) Funny thing was, in order to write the sad scenes, I had to keep playing Sleepless Beuty from the Gravitation soundtrack _

_Oh, and I feel like I need to explain two of the scenes from that. First of all, Ashura's almost-redemption. I always thought that Ashura would either be totally evil, or maybe a good guy, with Fai in the wrong. But as I chose to combine the two and make him a good guy that had lost his way, I thought it would be nice for him to find redemption in death. That's why I had him asking for Fai's forgiveness at the end._

_Secondly, I'm not sure whether Sakura would feel Fai's death or not...she's always so in tune to the people around her. Plus, in the anime she seems to have been given all sorts of powers that she didn't have in the manga, such as being drawn by her feathers...so I decided to play off that._

_Sorry that that wasn't that sad...I'm no good at those kind of endings. Next up, we'll have the Sad But Happy one...don't be alarmed if the first few paragraphs are the same - it won't be me uploading the wrong file. It'll just be the alternate ending. _

_So...read and review please!_


	10. Ending 2: Familiar Price

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Ending 2; A Familiar Price**

"That was when I snapped. I sealed you away, and left that place. But the question is this, Ashura-ou…if you showed no mercy to those poor villagers…why should I show you any mercy now?"

Silence fell over the area as Fai's words hung heavy on the air, echoing slightly with the power contained in his slender body. Trembling, Fai refused to break eye contact with his former king, sparks of power dancing around his hands as his face set into a determined expression.

And Ashura laughed.

"Do you really think you can beat me, Fai? Without your tattoo? Against my superior skills? You were never strong enough to overpower me, and you never will be. Today will be your last, and you will die by my hand, along with that pathetic…gah!" Ashura's words were cut off as Fai suddenly glowed a soft blue, emitting a wave of pure power that sent Ashura crashing back into a tree, smashing it to the ground.

"No, Ashura-ou. I was always the stronger of the two of us. You were scared of my power, because it far surpassed your own – you were afraid that one day I'd come to my senses and rise up against you. The days that I believed your poison words are history…no more will I allow you to weaken my resolve. No more will you tell me what to do." Fai stated calmly, a strangely serene expression washing over his determined features.

Ashura snorted and tried to get up, only to yelp as another blast of magic forced him painfully back down, crushing him back against the trunk of the fallen tree. Snarling, he tensed his fingers, summoning flames that flickered around himself, sending wisps of smoke into the air wherever they brushed against the tree. But one wave of Fai's hand, and they were doused in an instant, vanishing as though they'd never existed in the first place.

"The time has come, Ashura-ou. Your past acts against the whole of Seresu will be avenged." Fai announced, the light around him beginning to grow stronger as he slowly raised a hand to stretch towards Ashura.

From his position on the ground, Kurogane's eyes widened as he saw the tears that were beginning to silently trickle down the blonde's cheeks, and he suddenly recognised the tranquil expression Fai was wearing as one of great distress, the full of impact of what he was doing crushing the white wizard.

"No! Stop it! Just send him back to your world! _Stop it, Fai_!" Kurogane bellowed desperately, seeing the way that Fai rapidly seemed to be stretching himself too far, moving towards a place where there would be no coming back from. >_Stop it! You won't be Fai anymore…you'll break, damnit! You'll break…>_

Dimly, Fai heard the ninja's yells, but he did not pause in his actions, instead beginning to summon a pulsing ball of energy into his hands, the tears flowing more freely now.

"If I send you back, you'll only come after me again, won't you? And you'll destroy everything that gets in your way…" He murmured, blue eyes locking with Ashura's dark ones.

Ashura glared hatefully up at him, lips curling in anger as his pet broke free of his control, knowing that there was nothing he could do to take back the reins of power now. Pouring his remaining energy into one final attack, he snarled as it was once more thwarted, the last tendrils of his power melting away.

"Congratulations, Fai. You've won. You can kill me and be free of my shadow." He snarled. Watching Fai expectantly for the final blow, he was surprised when Fai held back from releasing his attack, merely shaking his head.

"No, Ashura-ou. Yes, I can kill you – but the one that will be freed is you. You never wanted to turn out like this, did you? You wanted to grow up to be Seresu's greatest king, and bring happiness to the people. You wanted to touch your subjects' hearts so that they would mourn your inevitable passing, and cry at your death. Somewhere along the way, you lost yourself in the power struggles, and you forgot that dream. But I am still a subject of Seresu…and I will still weep for you." Fai whispered brokenly, his eyes fluttering closed in a pained expression as he finally released his attack.

* * *

Ashura started at Fai's words, the realisation of what he had always had crashing down upon him as the ball of energy sped towards him. _>You always loved me, didn't you Fai? And you carried on loving me despite my cruelty to you. Even now, you think only of me. >_

Shadowed walls falling to release a heart long forgotten, Ashura smiled as he finally understood, showing the world a grin free of malice for the first time in years. >_I was a fool…>_

"Forgive me, Fai." He prayed, dark eyes closing in acceptance of what was to come.

And he was swallowed up by Fai's attack.

* * *

Kurogane struggled to his feet as Fai suddenly dropped to his knees, body shuddering with the force of his sobs as he screamed his grief for the whole world to hear, the last remnants of his mask lying shattered on the floor. And Kurogane finally saw the Fai who, although he'd been able to peel back enough layers to understand slightly, he had never been truly able to see. 

Limping towards his fallen partner, he fell to the ground beside him, gathering the blonde into his arms and holding tight, rocking Fai back and forth as he murmured reassuring words in his ear.

"It's ok…it's ok, Fai. Come back to me…don't you dare leave me alone…" He pleaded in a hushed voice, sending up a prayer to the gods that his lover hadn't reached the point of no return, that Fai hadn't finally tipped over the edge he'd been walking along for so long, finally succumbing to insanity.

Gradually, Fai's sobs grew less and less violent, until he was just whimpering against Kurogane's chest, gripping the dark armour tightly. Shuddering as he got a grip on himself, Fai wrapped his arms tightly around the ninja, pulling himself as close to Kurogane as he could get.

"K…Kuro-muu…" He whispered, burying his face in Kurogane's chest. The Japanese swordsman breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled back slightly, just enough to be able to see Fai properly without squinting.

"Fai…are you alright?" He asked anxiously, crimson eyes scanning the man before him for signs of injury.

Fai nodded, his distressed expression melting into one of tired relief, eyes shining a bright blue.

"I think…I think he was able to be Ashura-ouji again…if only for a little while." Fai murmured, smiling softly at Kurogane. Slowly, he reached up to cup Kurogane's face, and the warrior leaned into the touch, never taking his eyes off Fai. The last time Fai had done this, he'd been about to return to Ashura's clutches. This time, it was Kurogane's embrace that he had chosen.

Leaning up, Fai gently kissed Kurogane, relishing the feel of those rough lips against his own once again. Pulling back, he bit his lip nervously, gazing at the man he loved.

"Kuro-rin…I made a mistake. I thought that Ashura-ou was the one that I loved. But I was wrong. When it came down to it, I knew that I had to choose you. I can't ask for your forgiveness, but…"

"It's yours." Kurogane suddenly interrupted, gazing seriously at Fai.

"Wha…what?" Fai gasped, blinking in shock.

"I forgive you, if there's actually anything to forgive. As long as you stay with me, then I don't care. Plus, I won't have to defend you all the time anymore, because you can use your magic, so that's a point in your favour." Kurogane joked, cracking a small grin. Then he paused, a frown marring his features.

"Come to think of it, I still don't know why you didn't use your powers before. I mean, nothing happened, so…"

"Ahhh!" Fai cut Kurogane off with a pained cry, doubling over and gripping his stomach tightly, face screwed up in agony.

"Fai? Fai, what's wrong!" Kurogane said urgently, reaching to touch Fai reassuringly. Instead, Fai jerked back as if burned and quickly retreated until he was a few metres away from Kurogane. Hissing as a sharp bolt of pain sliced through him, Fai looked up at Kurogane with a thin smile, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead.

"Th…this is why I don't use magic, Kuro-chan. Without my tattoo, I can't control my magic…it's too strong for me to stop naturally." Fai choked out, gasping as another wave of agony passed through him. "It doesn't stop…it just turns into a destructive force…and that force needs an escape outlet, so it just explodes out of me…."

Fai's voice died away, and he cried out again, sinking to the floor. Kurogane made to run to him, and Fai shook his head frantically, biting his lip hard as tried to suppress the power long enough for Kurogane to get to safety.

"Don't you get it, Kuro-pii! In a few seconds, I won't be able to hold it in any longer! Magic will shoot out of me, and it will drain the life energy of anything it touches – this area will become a wasteland."

"Fai…" Kurogane whispered, his hand helplessly going to the handle of Ginryuu, even though he knew that a sword could do nothing in this situation.

"Run, Kuro-tan! Before it's too late! I….ahhhh!" Fai's begging suddenly turned into a scream of suffering, and Kurogane was forced to duck as a red beam of light shot out of the blonde, sailing over the ninja to hit a tree behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, Kurogane's eyes widened as he saw the tree visibly wilt, turning black as if burned by invisible fire.

Fai shuddered as his body was wracked by torturous waves of energies, feeling them continuously build up inside of him until they exploded out of him, again and again.

And yet, Kurogane didn't run. Instead, he simply dodged the beams, refusing to leave Fai's side. And for the first time in his life, Fai felt like he was the one who had the right to call Kurogane a fool.

"Don't be stupid, Kuro-woof! Get out of here! Please! For me!" He pleaded, letting out a choked cry as yet another beam of light shot from inside of him.

"No!" Kurogane bellowed, using Ginryuu to reflect one of the beams away from him. "I won't leave you, Fai!"

"Kurogane! Please!" Fai screamed. Kurogane pulled up short, recognising the rare use of his real name and finally nodded, agreeing. He didn't want to leave Fai like this, but if Fai was so serious about this, then…

Turning to run, Kurogane was forced to jump back as dead trees, unable to support their own weights anymore, crashed down, blocking his way. Another tree fell and slammed into another one, and Kurogane cursed as it provoked a domino effect, causing trees to fall all around the clearing until he was blocked in.

Sliding Ginryuu back into its sheath, he leapt up onto one of the fallen trees and began to climb the barrier, only to hear Fai's howl of warning from behind him. Whirling round, Kurogane gasped as he saw numerous beams shooting in his direction, too many for him to avoid from his current position.

_>Well, witch. Looks like I won't be getting my wish after all, hmm? This is my last stop…>

* * *

_

Back at the house, Sakura and Syaoran were nervously watching Mokona dance around the pile of now clean dishes, when the little creature suddenly ground to a halt, ears pricking up and eyes growing huge.

"Mokona? I thought there wasn't a feather in this world!" Syaoran said urgently, rising half out of his seat. The white being simply shook its head, expression unusually serious as it turned towards the door.

"Mokona feels a strange power…it's Fai's!" Mokona exclaimed, bouncing up and down agitatedly. Sakura gasped, and stood up, hand n mouth.

"Fai-san! But he never uses his magic…" She whispered.

"And Kurogane-san isn't back yet either." Syaoran muttered to himself, putting two and two together. "Mokona, take us to where Fai-san is!"

* * *

As the beams of power sped towards Kurogane, Fai cried out a warning, already knowing that it would be too late. >_No! Unless I can stop my magic, Kurogane will die! I always put him in danger like this…I have to stop myself! I have to…I have to…> _But even though Fai wanted to control his power, he knew it was impossible. He couldn't control the energy created, and that energy had to go somewhere, or it would simply explode inside of him…wait. 

Smiling sadly, Fai shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, drawing on the magic inside of him to pull the beams back inside of him. Shuddering, he staggered to his feet as he felt the energy levels within him rise, lifting his head to grin reassuringly at Kurogane.

"It's ok, Kuro-rin…you don't have to worry about those beams anymore. Just get out of here to safety." Fai choked out, holding his stomach in a death grip. A sudden blaze of agony shot through him and he cried out, stumbling forward under the force of such pain.

Before he knew it, Kurogane had leapt down and run to him, placing strong arms around him and lying him down on the ground, taking care to cushion Fai's blonde head on his knees.

"What have you done, Fai?" Kurogane whispered urgently, gazing seriously down at his lover. "Don't lie to me – I know you've done something, because the beams have stopped…_what have you done_!"

Fai smiled weakly up at the swordsman, lifting a trembling hand to gently stroke Kurogane's cheek.

"I can never lie to you, Kuro-sama…." He whispered, wincing as another wave passed through him, the pressure of the magic inside of him growing to unbearable heights.

"I pulled my magic back inside of me…instead of exploding out of me to create an escape outlet, it's killing me from the inside…but I couldn't stand to see you hurt, Kuro-pii, I….ahhh!" Fai cried out in pain and Kurogane's grip around him tightened, the dark haired man leaning down to rest his forehead on Fai's chest.

"You damn idiotic mage! You damn…you damn idiot! You can't die…I won't let you!" He growled desperately, unable to believe how unfair all this was. He and Fai had overcome everything to be together – Flame Spirits, each others' inexperience at having a real relationship, Ashura…they'd even managed to defeat the biggest evil of all – the talking manjuu bun.

And yet, the universe still wasn't going to let them have a happy ending. It wasn't going to accept that two soul mates, even separated by different dimensions, had found a way to cross over and meet in the middle, refusing to let a silly little thing like coming from different worlds stop them.

"It's not fair…it's not _fair_, damnit!" Kurogane whispered harshly, his hands gripping tightly onto Fai's thick coat.

"Nothing in…this universe…is ever fair…Kuro-wan…" Fai murmured, his eyes beginning to flicker closed as he succumbed to the pain that was raging inside. Kurogane panicked, grabbing Fai's hand and squeezing it to the point where it was probably painful, hoping to wake the blonde up.

"Don't you dare close your eyes on me! Stay awake, Fai! I don't have a clue about what's happening inside of you, but I'm sure that whatever it is will happen faster if you fall unconscious, _so just stay awake_!"

In the distance, he heard voices calling his name, and he found himself instinctively answering, never taking his eyes off the fading blonde. _>Syaoran and the Princess must be coming…so's the manjuu bun…wait! Mokona! I can use Mokona to save Fai's life!>_

Kurogane started to call out their names louder, desperately wanting them to hurry up and get here, afraid that every second they wasted would make it harder to save Fai. Finally, after what seemed like years had gone by, the group was scrambling over the fallen trees, racing towards Kurogane and their fallen companion, calling out their names desperately.

"Kurogane-san! What happened to Fai-san!" Syaoran gasped loudly, brown eyes staring seriously down at the distantly whimpering blonde.

"Never mind that! Where's the manjuu bun!" Kurogane snarled, eyes falling on Mokona and seizing it by its ears, ignoring the small noises of pain it was making.

"Get me the Witch! Now!" He demanded, throwing Mokona roughly to the ground in his desperation. For once, Mokona didn't even attempt to tease him, instead turning and activating his beam, sending the partial portal into the air. A moment later, Yuuko appeared inside of it, her expression grave as she gazed at the scene in front of her.

"It appears that the wizard attempted to use magic without his tattoo….you wish for me to save his life, hmm? If it can be done?" She guessed. Kurogane growled, glaring furiously up at the solemn looking witch.

"Yes! Now, _can_ it be done?" He challenged. Yuuko smiled slightly, nodding shortly.

"Nothing's impossible, as long as you wish for it. All Fai needs is for someone with magic to stop his magic overflowing too fast for him to control…but of course there is a price." Yuuko replied, raising an elegant eyebrow to look down at the desperate ninja.

"Anything! I'll give anything! You want Ginryuu back, right? Here! Take it!" Kurogane cried, fumbling with his sheath. But Yuuko merely shook her head, holding up a hand to stop him.

"That won't be necessary. At the moment, the thing most precious to you is no longer your sword – but your relationship with Fai."

Syaoran's eyes widened at the Space Time Witch's words, suddenly remembering a certain bargain made long ago.

* * *

_Flashback_

"The thing you value most…is your relationship with her. So that is your price."

"My price? But how?" Syaoran says in shock, not quite able to grasp how the Witch can accept this as payment.

"Even if the child's memories are completely restored, your relationship with her will never be the same again. So what is she to you?" The Witch asks, her face as serious as he is sure a face can ever be, no trace of a smile there to make it seem like she is joking.

"A childhood friend…and the princess of a country. And…and a girl who is precious to me!"

"…I see. However, if you want to accept Mokona, that relationship will end. Even if you retrieve all of her memories…the one memory she will never retrieve will be her memory of you."

_End_ _Flashback

* * *

_

_>Is that what she's asking of Kurogane-san? The same price?> _Syaoran thought to himself in shock.

It seemed Kurogane was having the same recollection, his expression growing even more alarmed.

"You mean…like the kid's price!" He choked out, glancing down at Fai as if to reassure himself that the mage was still breathing.

"Yes. I require one simple memory from him – his memory of you. He will remember everything of his past and this quest…except for your presence. To him, you will be no more than a stranger. Any attempt to tell him what he's forgotten will only result in that memory vanishing again as quickly as it surfaces. He will simply think that he has forgotten you for some reason, but that you were no one important to him anyway."

Kurogane hissed in disbelief, gazing tenderly at Fai's beautiful pale face and feeling furious tears well up in his eyes, although he refused to let them fall.

"Well? What is your choice?" Yuuko's voice cut through him, and he shuddered violently, before raising his head to glare defiantly at the Witch, nodding his acceptance.

"Do it."

"Very well, then. Please stand back, or you may get caught in the flow of magic." Yuuko said calmly, waiting until Kurogane had done what she'd asked before suddenly making a sharp gesture, a strange smoky light oozing out of Mokona's mouth to completely cover Fai. Gradually, the light faded away, and the group stared anxiously at their comrade, who lay there unconscious and still.

"It is done. The transaction is complete. Nice doing business with you." Yuuko murmured, before the light from Mokona disappeared, leaving the gang alone in the clearing.

"Fai-san? Is…is he ok?" Sakura whispered, moving forward to kneel next to the unmoving man. As if on cue, Fai's eyes flickered open, and he groaned quietly before sitting up, rubbing the back of his neck. Blinking hard, he glanced around the group's anxious faces, a wide smile appearing on his own face.

"Why, so many worried faces! I'm sorry that I gave you all such a scare!" He chirped, grinning broadly as his eyes travelled round the group. Then the smile suddenly slipped, and he frowned slightly as he pointed at Kurogane, a confused expression on his face.

"You…You I've never seen before though. Have we met?" He asked politely, seemingly not noticing how Kurogane's crimson eyes filled with pain at the innocent query. However, Syaoran saw it, and he took it upon himself to fill the blonde Seresuan in.

"That's Kurogane-san. He's our travelling companion. You don't…don't remember him?" Syaoran said carefully, making sure not to give any more away, in case it went against Yuuko's bargain with them. Fai shook his head slowly, blue eyes focused on Kurogane.

"I'm afraid I don't. Were we close, Kurogane-san?" He questioned, gradually getting to his feet and brushing the dirt off of his clothes.

Kurogane felt like his heart was going to burst right out of his chest from the way that it was hammering against his ribcage violently, screaming out that yes, they were close, and they'd shared far more than the blonde would ever know…but even though on the inside he was dying, on the outside he merely grunted, shaking his head briskly.

"No," He lied, folding his arms and pretending that he couldn't feel the distance that Fai's use of his proper name put between them. "No, we're barely even friends."

Fai nodded brightly, sighing in relief as he took in Kurogane's words.

"That's a relief! I'd feel terrible if we had been close and I'd forgotten all about you, Kurogane-san!" He exclaimed, clapping his hands enthusiastically.

Turning to Sakura and Syaoran, he winked and lifted up Mokona, holding the small creature in front of them.

"And now that everything's been cleared up, I'd say it was time to jump worlds, wouldn't you? We still have to find all of Sakura-chan's feathers!" He paused suddenly, smiling wistfully as another thought came to him.

"It's so strange to be able to skip worlds without being terrified that Ashura will come after me…I'm glad that I was able to finally see on my own the truth about him." He murmured, not having a clue about how his inability to remember the real reason he'd finally seen the truth was silently killing a certain Japanese behind him.

"Mokona Modoki waits for no one!" The shrill voice echoed round the clearing, and a storm of rainbow coloured lights surrounded the group, drawing them into Mokona's mouth…

Then silence.

* * *

It had been 3 weeks since the bargain with the Space Time Witch had been made. 3 weeks since Kurogane's world had come crashing down around him, leaving him unsure of where he belonged anymore. Now, more than ever, he found himself wishing that he would return to his Japan soon, if only so that he would no longer be tortured by a Fai that he could not touch and kiss anymore…because Fai would not remember that they were in love. 

Every time that they ended up sharing a room, Kurogane had to turn away from the blonde, sleeping with his back to his travelling companion, lest his desire become too strong and he slid out of bed only to pounce on the other man, claiming that slender form as his once more.

When somehow they'd end up alone, searching together as a pair whilst Sakura, Syaoran and the manjuu bun looked together, Kurogane would have to fight the temptation just to tell Fai what they'd had, and resist the urge to seize the mage in a tight embrace and kiss him deeply, forcing Fai to accept the passion that they'd had before it had been erased from his mind forever.

But he never gave into it. He just stayed silent and nodded, going along with whatever Fai said, acting as though they had always had such a strained relationship. And the blonde with ocean blue eyes never saw behind his mask of pretence, despite how long he'd spent hiding behind a mask of his own.

Kurogane wasn't sure how many more times he could stand to hear 'Kurogane-san' come out of that pouting mouth, or how long he would be able to cope without breaking down completely. Now he knew what the kid felt like when Sakura so casually mentioned the empty spaces she saw in her memories…except that Syaoran had never found the strength to tell Sakura his feelings, so he hadn't lost a shared love that was so soul searchingly powerful and binding, there would never be any escape from it.

Not like Kurogane had.

Now Kurogane looked forward again to the day when he'd land in his Japan, able to return to Tomoyo and tell her he'd learnt his lesson. Because he had no hope for him and Fai left – just a deep, lingering ache that tugged every time Fai was near him.

"Kurogane-san?" Are you coming? Sakura called, placing a hand on Syaoran's shoulder and turning back to face the ninja as the rest of the group waited up for him to catch up.

"Yes, Kuro-chan, are you coming? We can't wait forever you know!" Fai grinned, waving enthusiastically back at the black swordsman. Kurogane's head shot up at the use of the nickname, and despite himself, a small smile made its way onto his face, casting away the shadows that had built themselves up around his heart.

Perhaps there was hope after all.

* * *

**_Author's Note

* * *

_**

Ending 2 is now officially up! And for anyone who didn't realise, that was the sad but happy one...and personally, my favourite. I can't help liking the way that it was so sad, but then there was a ray of hope...but then again, I'm a sucker for that sort of ending. And oh my God! My next update will be the _last one_! Then Memories Of When Smiles Were Real will be over!

Next to come is my happy ending...hope you all enjoy it! Read and review please!

**Hayama 4 -** I'm glad you liked the ending so much! And I hope this alternate ending didn't disappoint! Hope you look forward to the next one too!

**Meowzy-chan -** Yeah, Ashura was good...for all of 0.2 seconds! Happy ending is coming up next, so just hold on!

**Toshi.is.dead.-** Well...there's the slightly happier ending! Up next - the sickeningly sweet happy ending! Heh...I'm glad someone else has the same problem listening to songs though...I'm not alone!

**hentai-monkey-** I am so happy that you were so struck by the last chapter - hopefully, this one affected you just as much.

**ZRedPoppy -** There you go! I didn't kill Fai this time! I just meddled with his memory! And in a way, if you found it too sad to finish my chapter, then that somehow makes me happy too.

**ramingo -** Yeah, Kurogane's my favourite character too! I love him to bits, and always end up playing him on the RPG's I write with other people on my forum. Although I also play Ashura in 1 or 2, so grr! Look out Kuro-wan! Guess it was a sad ending then?

**Marron-chan1 -** Well, that was the sad but happy ending I spoke of, and it has now been posted! And did they stay together? Well, that's up to you...when you read the fic, what do you see happening in the future? Ha ha!

**Twilight Shades -** Well it was a happier ending - so hopefully you didn't cry!

**Mizu-Tenshi -** I'm so glad that you liked that line...and the Ashura redemption. This chapter wasn't exactly a happy one though...that's coming right up!

**Ranma Higurashi -** Well, I guess I updated fairly soon! Are you still flailing?

**pagelupin -** Yup, I killed Fai! And yes, poor Kurogane...and poor Kurogane in this too! Will I ever leave them happily together?

**moko-pi -** Yup, you said nyo! And I had to make that ending because it was hammering on my brain to be let out! Hopefully you found this one happier?

**alpha2nd -** Take all the tissues you need! Fai definitely needs a break...but he didn't exactly get one in this chapter! (Or did he - he has no idea that he's missing something - it's Kurogane who's carrying all the pain this time. Hmmm...ignorance is bliss? )


	11. Ending 3: With Arms Wide Open

**Introduction**

Out of the whole group, Fai is the one who smiles the most. But just because he smiles, that doesn't mean he's happy.

As he travels through the various dimensions, Fai hides behind a false smile, carefully concealing how he really feels under layers of pretence. But when Ashura returns, those layers are torn away, leaving him exposed to the world.

As he tries desperately to cope with the new pain and fear in his life, Fai finds himself thinking back to a time long ago…when smiles were real.

_**When the mask cracks, what will lie beneath?

* * *

**_

**Ending 3; With Arms Wide Open**

"That was when I snapped. I sealed you away, and left that place. But the question is this, Ashura-ou…if you showed no mercy to those poor villagers…why should I show you any mercy now?"

Silence fell over the area as Fai's words hung heavy on the air, echoing slightly with the power contained in his slender body. Trembling, Fai refused to break eye contact with his former king, sparks of power dancing around his hands as his face set into a determined expression.

And Ashura laughed.

"Do you really think you can beat me, Fai? Without your tattoo? Against my superior skills? You were never strong enough to overpower me, and you never will be. Today will be your last, and you will die by my hand, along with that pathetic…gah!" Ashura's words were cut off as Fai suddenly glowed a soft blue, emitting a wave of pure power that sent Ashura crashing back into a tree, smashing it to the ground.

"No, Ashura-ou. I was always the stronger of the two of us. You were scared of my power, because it far surpassed your own – you were afraid that one day I'd come to my senses and rise up against you. The days that I believed your poison words are history…no more will I allow you to weaken my resolve. No more will you tell me what to do." Fai stated calmly, a strangely serene expression washing over his determined features.

Ashura snorted and tried to get up, only to yelp as another blast of magic forced him painfully back down, crushing him back against the trunk of the fallen tree. Snarling, he tensed his fingers, summoning flames that flickered around himself, sending wisps of smoke into the air wherever they brushed against the tree. But one wave of Fai's hand, and they were doused in an instant, vanishing as though they'd never existed in the first place.

"The time has come, Ashura-ou. Your past acts against the whole of Seresu will be avenged." Fai announced, the light around him beginning to grow stronger as he slowly raised a hand to stretch towards Ashura.

From his position on the ground, Kurogane's eyes widened as he saw the tears that were beginning to silently trickle down the blonde's cheeks, and he suddenly recognised the tranquil expression Fai was wearing as one of great distress, the full of impact of what he was doing crushing the white wizard.

"No! Stop it! Just send him back to your world! _Stop it, Fai_!" Kurogane bellowed desperately, seeing the way that Fai rapidly seemed to be stretching himself too far, moving towards a place where there would be no coming back from. >_Stop it! You won't be Fai anymore…you'll break, damnit! You'll break…>_

Dimly, Fai heard the ninja's yells, but he did not pause in his actions, instead beginning to summon a pulsing ball of energy into his hands, the tears flowing more freely now.

"If I send you back, you'll only come after me again, won't you? And you'll destroy everything that gets in your way…" He murmured, blue eyes locking with Ashura's dark ones.

Ashura glared hatefully up at him, lips curling in anger as his pet broke free of his control, knowing that there was nothing he could do to take back the reins of power now. Pouring his remaining energy into one final attack, he snarled as it was once more thwarted, the last tendrils of his power melting away.

"Congratulations, Fai. You've won. You can kill me and be free of my shadow." He snarled. Watching Fai expectantly for the final blow, he was surprised when Fai held back from releasing his attack, merely shaking his head.

"No, Ashura-ou. Yes, I can kill you – but the one that will be freed is you. You never wanted to turn out like this, did you? You wanted to grow up to be Seresu's greatest king, and bring happiness to the people. You wanted to touch your subjects' hearts so that they would mourn your inevitable passing, and cry at your death. Somewhere along the way, you lost yourself in the power struggles, and you forgot that dream. But I am still a subject of Seresu…and I will still weep for you." Fai whispered brokenly, his eyes fluttering closed in a pained expression as he finally released his attack.

* * *

Ashura started at Fai's words, the realisation of what he had always had crashing down upon him as the ball of energy sped towards him. _>You always loved me, didn't you Fai? And you carried on loving me despite my cruelty to you. Even now, you think only of me. >_

Shadowed walls falling to release a heart long forgotten, Ashura smiled as he finally understood, showing the world a grin free of malice for the first time in years. >_I was a fool… >_

"Forgive me, Fai." He prayed, dark eyes closing in acceptance of what was to come.

And he was swallowed up by Fai's attack.

* * *

Kurogane struggled to his feet as Fai suddenly dropped to his knees, body shuddering with the force of his sobs as he screamed his grief for the whole world to hear, the last remnants of his mask lying shattered on the floor. And Kurogane finally saw the Fai who, although he'd been able to peel back enough layers to understand slightly, he had never been truly able to see.

Limping towards his fallen partner, he fell to the ground beside him, gathering the blonde into his arms and holding tight, rocking Fai back and forth as he murmured reassuring words in his ear.

"It's ok…it's ok, Fai. Come back to me…don't you dare leave me alone…" He pleaded in a hushed voice, sending up a prayer to the gods that his lover hadn't reached the point of no return, that Fai hadn't finally tipped over the edge he'd been walking along for so long, finally succumbing to insanity.

Gradually, Fai's sobs grew less and less violent, until he was just whimpering against Kurogane's chest, gripping the dark armour tightly. Shuddering as he got a grip on himself, Fai wrapped his arms tightly around the ninja, pulling himself as close to Kurogane as he could get.

"K…Kuro-muu…" He whispered, burying his face in Kurogane's chest. The Japanese swordsman breathed a sigh of relief, and pulled back slightly, just enough to be able to see Fai properly without squinting.

"Fai…are you alright?" He asked anxiously, crimson eyes scanning the man before him for signs of injury.

Fai nodded, his distressed expression melting into one of tired relief, eyes shining a bright blue.

"I think…I think he was able to be Ashura-ouji again…if only for a little while." Fai murmured, smiling softly at Kurogane. Slowly, he reached up to cup Kurogane's face, and the warrior leaned into the touch, never taking his eyes off Fai. The last time Fai had done this, he'd been about to return to Ashura's clutches. This time, it was Kurogane's embrace that he had chosen.

Leaning up, Fai gently kissed Kurogane, relishing the feel of those rough lips against his own once again. Pulling back, he bit his lip nervously, gazing at the man he loved.

"Kuro-rin…I made a mistake. I thought that Ashura-ou was the one that I loved. But I was wrong. When it came down to it, I knew that I had to choose you. I can't ask for your forgiveness, but…"

"It's yours." Kurogane suddenly interrupted, gazing seriously at Fai.

"Wha…what?" Fai gasped, blinking in shock.

"I forgive you, if there's actually anything to forgive. As long as you stay with me, then I don't care. Plus, I won't have to defend you all the time anymore, because you can use your magic, so that's a point in your favour." Kurogane joked, cracking a small grin. Then he paused, a frown marring his features.

"Come to think of it, I still don't know why you didn't use your powers before. I mean, nothing happened, so…"

"Ahhh!" Fai cut Kurogane off with a pained cry, doubling over and gripping his stomach tightly, face screwed up in agony.

"Fai? Fai, what's wrong!" Kurogane said urgently, reaching to touch Fai reassuringly. Instead, Fai jerked back as if burned and quickly retreated until he was a few metres away from Kurogane. Hissing as a sharp bolt of pain sliced through him, Fai looked up at Kurogane with a thin smile, sweat beginning to bead on his forehead.

"Th…this is why I don't use magic, Kuro-chan. Without my tattoo, I can't control my magic…it's too strong for me to stop naturally." Fai choked out, gasping as another wave of agony passed through him. "It doesn't stop…it just turns into a destructive force…and that force needs an escape outlet, so it just explodes out of me…."

Fai's voice died away, and he cried out again, sinking to the floor. Kurogane made to run to him, and Fai shook his head frantically, biting his lip hard as tried to suppress the power long enough for Kurogane to get to safety.

"Don't you get it, Kuro-pii! In a few seconds, I won't be able to hold it in any longer! Magic will shoot out of me, and it will drain the life energy of anything it touches – this area will become a wasteland."

"Fai…" Kurogane whispered, his hand helplessly going to the handle of Ginryuu, even though he knew that a sword could do nothing in this situation.

"Run, Kuro-tan! Before it's too late! I….ahhhh!" Fai's begging suddenly turned into a scream of suffering, and Kurogane was forced to duck as a red beam of light shot out of the blonde, sailing over the ninja to hit a tree behind him. Glancing over his shoulder, Kurogane's eyes widened as he saw the tree visibly wilt, turning black as if burned by invisible fire.

Fai shuddered as his body was wracked by torturous waves of energies, feeling them continuously build up inside of him until they exploded out of him, again and again.

And yet, Kurogane didn't run. Instead, he simply dodged the beams, refusing to leave Fai's side. And for the first time in his life, Fai felt like he was the one who had the right to call Kurogane a fool.

"Don't be stupid, Kuro-woof! Get out of here! Please! For me!" He pleaded, letting out a choked cry as yet another beam of light shot from inside of him.

"No!" Kurogane bellowed, using Ginryuu to reflect one of the beams away from him. "I won't leave you, Fai!"

"Kurogane! Please!" Fai screamed. Kurogane pulled up short, recognising the rare use of his real name and finally nodded, agreeing. He didn't want to leave Fai like this, but if Fai was so serious about this, then…

Turning to run, Kurogane was forced to jump back as dead trees, unable to support their own weights anymore, crashed down, blocking his way. Another tree fell and slammed into another one, and Kurogane cursed as it provoked a domino effect, causing trees to fall all around the clearing until he was blocked in.

Sliding Ginryuu back into its sheath, he leapt up onto one of the fallen trees and began to climb the barrier, only to hear Fai's howl of warning from behind him. Whirling round, Kurogane gasped as he saw numerous beams shooting in his direction, too many for him to avoid from his current position.

_>Well, witch. Looks like I won't be getting my wish after all, hmm? This is my last stop…>

* * *

_

As the beams of power sped towards Kurogane, Fai cried out a warning, already knowing that it would be too late. >_No! Unless I can stop my magic, Kurogane will die! I always put him in danger like this…I have to stop myself! I have to…I have to…> _But even though Fai wanted to control his power, he knew it was impossible. He couldn't control the energy created, and that energy had to go somewhere, or it would simply explode inside of him…wait.

Smiling sadly, Fai shut his eyes and breathed in deeply, drawing on the magic inside of him to pull the beams back inside of him. Shuddering, he staggered to his feet as he felt the energy levels within him rise, lifting his head to grin reassuringly at Kurogane.

"Don't worry, Kuro-kichi, I've…ah!…Got control now…." Fai hissed, forcing the words out through teeth gritted against the pain. Kurogane stared at him warily before jumping down and moving slowly towards him, an uncertain expression on his face.

"Really? Because it sure doesn't sound like it…" He muttered, drawing closer to the blonde mage. Fai just smiled, lurching towards Kurogane as he forced down the power within him.

"It's fine, Kuro-muu…I promise."

Finally convinced, Kurogane was at his side in an instant, wrapping strong arms round his lover and pulling him close, wincing at the small tremors he could feel running through the lithe body he held so tightly.

"Fai, tell me the truth…you're definitely not alright. Something's hurting you still…damnit! Stop being an idiot and tell me!" Kurogane pleaded angrily.

Fai chuckled lightly, tipping his face up to press his lips gently against Kurogane's, savouring the slight pressure of their mouths against each other. Neither made any move to deepen the kiss, and after a few seconds Fai was moving back, startling Kurogane as the swordsman saw the tears beginning to stream down the blonde's cheeks.

"What…?" He whispered, beginning to lift a hand in order to brush away Fai's tears. But before he could do anything else, Fai suddenly whispered a word that was barely loud enough to be heard, and Kurogane felt his eyelids become heavy as his strength rapidly left his body.

"Fai…" He whispered, eyes finally closing as his arms slipped from around Fai, crashing limply to the ground. Muffling a sob, Fai crouched down beside him and quickly arranged him into a more comfortable position, pulling back to stroke Kurogane's forehead soothingly.

"Goodbye Kuro-wan…love you…" He murmured, easing himself to his feet and wincing as another bolt of agony shot through him.

And then he was gone; running as fast and far as his shaking legs could take him.

Running as far as he could get from Kurogane.

* * *

Sometime later, the sleeping figure stirred as an inquisitive bird landed nearby, cocking its head to the side as it stared at the stranger that had invaded its forest. Chirping loudly, it hopped forwards onto the strange black man's face, only to screech in surprise as a large hand came up to bat it away, eyelids flying open to reveal crimson red orbs.

"Fai!" With a loud gasp, Kurogane shot upright into a sitting position, breathing sounding harsh and loud to his own ears in the still silence of the clearing. Jumping to his feet, Kurogane spun round wildly, cursing as he saw no sign of the blonde mage that he had grown so attached to.

"Damnit!" He swore, hand angrily gripping at Ginryuu's handle. Fai had gone, run away yet again…had even had the nerve to enchant him into sleep! >_That idiot! He was already having a hard enough time controlling his magic…what the hell did he think he was doing, using more to make me fall asl…>_ Kurogane's thoughts froze in their tracks, and he paled as he suddenly realised exactly what Fai _had_ thought he was doing.

Fai had used more magic in his already bad state for the simple reason that he didn't think he was coming back.

"No! Damnit, no…Fai…" Kurogane croaked, arms dropping helplessly to his sides. There was nothing he could do…the forest was huge – too large to search through in time to stop Fai. And he didn't even know how long he'd been out…

Glancing up at the sky, Kurogane's eyes widened as he took in the position of the Sun, realising that hardly any time had passed at all since he'd been knocked out – Fai had only used enough power to put him to sleep momentarily whilst he made his escape.

"But I still won't be able to find him…unless…" Kurogane crouched down to the floor, running his hand lightly over the thick grass and grinning wolfishly as he detected the minute trail left behind by the light-footed Serusuan.

"You may be the most graceful man I've ever know, but you still leave a trail behind you, Fai D. Flowright. Hide and Seek's over – I'm coming, ready or not."

* * *

Fai let out a low moan of pain as he slumped against a nearby tree, practically doubled over as he clutched at his stomach in agony, the storm of magic continuing to rage inside of him.

"K…Kuro-tan…" He whimpered helplessly, tears trickling down his cheeks as torturous throbbing began to be too much for him again.

He could feel the magic bubbling up inside of him, raising to another level as the primal powers inside of him rose eagerly to the surface. Letting out a harsh cry, Fai staggered to the centre of the clearing in an attempt to get even further away from Kurogane, only to crash to his knees, wailing in anguish as his insides felt like they were being ripped apart.

And then…nothing.

The pain of his suffering gone, Fai straightened up slowly, gazing down at his hands in confusion. By all rights he should have exploded by now. Or imploded. Something like that anyway. And yet…nothing had happened. If he hadn't just experienced those gut wrenching pulses of pain, he would have thought it all a giant mix-up.

That was, until his hands began to glow blue.

Lifting his hands to get a closer look at them, Fai stared as they pulsed with magic that he himself had not called. A faint breeze suddenly blew past him, ruffling his hair, and his eyelids drooped as a hazy feeling swept through him, making him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Caught up in his dream-like state, Fai merely smiled distantly as he began to float upwards, blue eyes unfocused and blank. Giggling softly, he watched as a branch from the tree he had previously been leaning on rose to join him in a slowly spinning circle, drawn to him by some unseen force.

One by one, the trees were stripped of their leaves and branches, the flowers growing at their roots rising to swirl around the rising blonde. Clacking together in an uneven rhythm, stones and pebbles lifted up off of the ground to join in the colourful dance, whirling in the vortex that had formed around Fai.

In the eye of the storm, Fai hung limply in the air, eyes clouded over as he lost himself to the magic, nothing more than an empty shell floating on the breeze.

Nothing more than part of the magic that he had once controlled.

* * *

Kurogane first realised something was wrong when he noticed the nearby bushes shaking violently in a wind that wasn't there, petals tearing off the buds to fly past the line of tree ahead. Feeling the tug of an invisible force, Kurogane allowed himself to be pulled forward, sure that this would guide him to where Fai was hiding.

But he never expected what he saw as he pushed back the trees blocking his way.

"Fai! _Fai_!" He yelled, eyes widening in horror as he saw the wizard spinning gently in the wind, rising ever higher into the air as more objects flew up to join him. Seemingly blind to the significance of his presence, Fai turned his head to smile lazily at the dark clothed man who was bellowing at him, managing to summon the energy to wave sluggishly at the stranger.

"Fai! What the hell's going on? What's happening! Answer me!" Kurogane demanded furiously, eyes darting back and forth as he took in the scene before him. At the significant lack of response from the blonde, he pursed his lips anxiously, seeing a look he knew all too well in the mage's eye.

The one that he usually saw in the eyes of those destined to die on the battlefield.

"Come on Fai! Snap out of it! Are you going to just let yourself die like that? After everything you've gone through!" He bellowed, stomping his foot in fury at how he got no more than a slow, confused blink in answer. >_No no no no! How can he just let his magic destroy him like this! It's draining the life out of him – killing him! Damnit!>_

"Please, Fai…" He begged, staring imploringly up at the usually impish wizard. Getting no response, he clenched his hand into a tight fist, shaking with barely restrained panic as he yelled out blindly;

"You once told me that there's a certain strength needed to be able to cry when you should – is that what you want, Fai! To make me cry! To show that I'm strong enough to be with you! _Is that what you want_!"

As he roared his words for the world to hear, a single tear escaped down Kurogane's cheek before being sucked into the swirling vortex that surrounded Fai. Almost immediately, Kurogane felt a strange stirring in the pit of his stomach, and he gasped as Fai's eyes snapped fully open, a small glittering spot of water marking the spot on his face where Kurogane's tear had hit his face.

"K…Kuro-rin?" Fai whispered, before crying out as the breeze became a full blown gale, raging around the couple as if trying to prevent Fai from escaping from its clutches.

"Fai!" Kurogane moved towards Fai, only to be forced to leap back as a flying tree trunk barely missed him, swinging wildly round to crash into the rocks on the other side of the clearing.

"Get away Kuro-chan! It's too dangerous! Just leave me!" Fai screamed, flailing violently against the storm of magic that was keeping him prisoner. But instead of leaving, Kurogane just shook his head, a confident grin forming on his face.

"No, Fai. Not this time. I won't ever leave you again." And with those words he ran up the side of a nearby tree, launching himself through the air towards Fai. Pulling him into his arms, he held on tight as he fell towards the floor, sending Fai crashing down with him.

Landing heavily on top of the blonde, Kurogane stayed still a moment, waiting for the winds to completely disperse before getting off a winded Fai.

"K…Kuro…Kuro-wan?" Fai gasped out, voice breathy and amazed. Kurogane simply chuckled and embraced Fai tightly, burying his face in the pale skin of Fai's neck as he whispered;

"You don't have to worry anymore Fai. Because whenever you lose control of yourself now…I'll be waiting to catch you, with arms wide open."

Fai's eyes welled up with tears and he let out a faint sob, flinging his arms around Kurogane's back and pulling himself close, hiccoughing into the stronger man's shoulder.

"Never let me fall, Kuro-koi. Don't ever let me fall." He pleaded, rocking back and forth slightly.

Drawing back, Kurogane shook his head slowly, never breaking eye contact with Fai as he made an oath that he never intended to break.

"I won't, Fai. I swear I won't." Then, with a final smirk, he was kissing Fai, using his lips and tongue to tell the wizard what should have been obvious from the start of their quest together.

That he was truly and utterly in love with him.

* * *

**_Author's Note_**

* * *

Oh. My. God. It's over. Memories Of When Smiles Were Real is actually over. I'm am seriously going to miss this story - it was one of my favourite, and I loved the positive feedback that I got from this fic - thankyou so much guys.

To be honest, I'm not that impressed with this ending at all. It may have been a happy ending, but it just didn't feel right to me...maybe because this couple has so many problems surrounding it, and so much angst. Personally, I don't think that Kurogane and Fai can ever have a happy ending that's so clean cut - a sad but happy one is much more realistic in my opinion, as both are carrying too many scars and past baggage to ever achieve what some would call a 'normal relationship'. But that's one of the reasons I love this couple so much!

Thankyou to everyone who has reviewed and read this story, and to everyone who will do so in the future. You kept me going on this, and even when I felt like giving up because things got too sticky, your reviews and comments helped give me the support to continue.

Please watch out for my next Tsubasa work, which should be coming soon. If it goes according to plan, it should be a collection of drabbles, short stories and one shots surrounding Kurogane, Fai and the KuroFai pairing! And the first story will be based around an idea I came up with one day when I was looking at Fai's tattoo and researching what it could symbolise - keep those eyes peeled!

Thanks again, everyone...please read and review!


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